How can I break from this cycle? '
Hi reader, need some advice.
I got diagnosed with depression 2 years ago and I tried 3 meds. Non of those meds fixed this issue. My primary issue with depression is that I am unable to think. My head is completely empty. Can’t use my imagination, no inner monologue thoughts, can’t argue back because I can’t really generate ideas and Would forget the conversation. Can’t hold my train of thoughts. This horrible brain fog made me a person who would say stupid things without thinking because I am incapable of doing, as a result I have lost my friends.
I am currently slowly improving this brain, and once a week I become able to think. My main issue is that whenever I want to do a task or read a book or just a sentence, my body falls asleep, feeling the fatigue in my body. But as soon as I use my phone my brain is awake. If I cook, my brain gets tried and induces fatigue. If I clean my room, shower, or do anything, I feel extremely sleepy. I don’t get enough sleep on the daily. But I can’t seem to Break this cycle. I stopped my university course cuz I kept sleeping all the time. I became a zombie.
To counter act this issue, I would self medicate on energy drinks and 6 shots of espresso on a daily basis and then force myself to sleep on sleeping pills. Despite the amount of stimulants I have in my body, I still feel sleepy every time I attempt to think.
I stopped this habit and got clean from this addiction, but could never get out of this cycle.
I tried exercising but then after I sit down, I would feel extremely sleepy. I tried to shower but as soon as I read anything, I fall asleep. I can’t continue university because of this. I can’t absorb anything because I’m too sleepy all the time.
I did blood tests, MRI, EEGs, and everything is normal. My Gp still blames depression and anxiety ,but how when my head wants to sleep all the time. I don’t have time to think therefore I’m not anxious or depressed. But I did notice if I cry, the sleepy effect gets intense. What is this fatigue?
My antidepressants aren’t sedating citalopram and brintellix.