I never really realized I had this kind of addiction, even though I feel I am very sensitive to addictions. I quit smoking and some other addictions as well long time ago. But forgot about this one. But I must say I was alone for a lot of years and did not feel the need to actually be in a relationship so that did not help.
I knew there were some times where it was more severe, that I would watch it multiple times a day. But I never had the feeling that I could not go without it.
I was able to go places for days and not think about it. It just was a thing to occupy my thoughts cause I was bored or stressed.
I did have a problem with getting an orgasm while having sex. I can’t recall a time where that was successful. And it does a lot for my confidence at the moment. I feel like this problem will last forever and makes my dream of having children a problem.
So I am working on quitting this habit once and for all.
I think I was already masturbating to porn when I was a kid of 12+ years old. So that made me already watch it for 20 years I guess.
Since the beginning of this January I decided to quit, which was harder than initially thought. First I went for 4 weeks without porn, which wasnt hard because I live with my girlfriend. Then she went away and I thought but if I dont ejaculate or something I might get other problems. So I slipped after the first 4 weeks. Then stopped immediately afterwards again for 5 weeks and then slipped again. Again quit and am not atleast at 5 weeks again.
I am proud in a way that I managed to so long without and that 3 times in 14 weeks is not that bad of a slipup.
The thing is that I notice that I feel more sensation when having sex now, but still aint coming yet. I still feel my libido is fried and not wanting to initiate sex myself. I know years ago when I was not bound to a relationship I was more wanting of having sex and I was more like I will fix this problem later. Now I need to fix it. But it scares me a lot that my libido is very low. I thought I never had this problem.
Are there any succes stories from people that had similar issues and actually recovered from it. Libido back, no more issues with reaching the point. How long do I have to wait before I can expect my body to rewire the brain with the dopamine system?