How do you deal with the loss of a dog who hasn't died yet?
Hi, I need some genuine advice as ive been sobbing multiple times a day because of my dog.
For some context, im 17f, my dog is 13f. We got her as a puppy, and her name is Athena. We also have her son, 11m and another dog 1½f.
Athena has been in my life for most of what I can even remember, and shes started really spiraling downwards in the past month. Over the course of a year, shes refused to eat solid food and will only eat it if its blended into a smoothie. Shes not able to go down the back stairs to go outside to use the bathroom, she falls down them. The other day I was on a walk with her and she started peeing and pooping while still walking. Then, when I led her inside, her back legs completely gave out. I immediately started bawling my eyes out. This has led me (for the past 3 days) to have nightmares every night that im going to come home from school and shes going to be dead next week.
I told my mom (37F) about the nightmares 2 days ago on the way back from a doctor's appointment, which she then decided that would be the perfect time to let me know that my father would be talking to a vet about options on putting her down this Saturday, likely putting her down this coming week. I was devastated and started bawling my eyes out again.
I know its selfish of me to keep her from passing and that shes in pain and its better this way but I genuinely dont know how im going to cope with this loss. Like I said, most of my life she has been there by my side. I can't even look at her without starting to cry and its interfering with my school and its making my anxiety and tics (i have FND) horrible so I have to take more anxiety meds which is making me incredibly exhausted all the time so im either sobbing or sleeping and I know its only going to get worse when she actually dies.
Please, how do I cope with this?? Does it get easier?? Im going to college in a few months, and im so scared that im going to lose all of my motivation because of this, I already struggle heavily with depression.
Any advice is welcome, i just need someone to tell me the truth. I havent dealt with this significant of a loss in about 6 years and I wasnt nearly as close nor bonded with my pet that passed then than I am with Athena.