I do not even know how to start this let alone truly what I even want to say. My head my heart and my life are a absolute train wreck a embarrassment of a life.
The past few years have been nothing but an absolute shit show there has been so much bad and no good it has only gotten worse.
The woman I loved more than anything came back into my life only to leave me cold and broken then a few months later after becoming suicidal and nearly ending it all I managed to pull myself through then I get the best news I could get right after the woman I love is marrying some guy.
This did wonders for my self-esteem and mental state so what did I do I got on hard drugs and for some time I could cope with life well then my place of employment went out of business so time later bingo got arrested mostly because the person I was around snitching to try and save their own ass but still my fault really.
Well I got another job thinking that maybe I can turn my life around lol nope I pick up a fta/ failure to appear I missed a court date by a day I was exhausted working nights and little sleep due to being homeless and sleeping in my vehicle. Yes I know not a excuse but that's what happen. Well I made the only sensible decision I turned myself in I had some time off and should have been able to have seen the judge no later than tuesday boy I was wrong 14 days I sat in jail see the judge finally and I get out.
I got out and turn my phone on only to receive word hey your fired.
Well now baby momma wants more time with our kid ok that's no big deal lol nope I go from 8 days a month to 4 days a month.
I get home from picking up my son to find out my mother is dying and is on hospice.
At this moment I'm crying as I type this and I just don't know if I can take anymore. This will probably be the last time I ever post on reddit again.
If I never write again I want to introduce myself as I've nothing left to hide from this world.
Hello I am Jeremy a 39 year old male from the United States of America a single father of two. I've fought depression my entire life I was bullied my entire life from school from my family and from the woman I loved. I have copd and they found a mass in my lungs last year. I stayed strong I fought and bleed to keep going and I did but now I am entirely exhausted and I'm tired to fighting.
I'm not going to hurt myself but I'm done I don't have any fight left in me.
To those that read this thank you for your time.