u/KDizzle1010

Was just sat here wondering if she feels bad about anything she done or anything she said etc Iv also read that a lot here from other people and it’s normal to think this.

But then I thought, why would I even expect that from her??? Iv heard hundreds of stories from her own mouth how she disrespected other people, how she spoke to her so called friends and her ex boyfriend, father to her child and I never seen a shred of guilt or self blame so why would I be any different.

Thought I’d let the rest of you wondering if they regret how they treated you my thoughts so we can all stop our minds circling together 🤜🏼🤛🏼

How many of you here feel that the sex almost kept you there? To begin with our relationship was great as we both wanted the same things and had such a great time together (same as the rest of you) but we would have sex on average 3/4 times a day and it was always really passionate and fun.

After the first few fights a remember saying to her I can’t continue accepting this behaviour and then before long we were having sex again and after in a jacking way I remember she said these exact words “that’s what we do, we fuck and we fight” at the time I laughed and carried on.

She was not wrong that’s exactly what the relationship turned into. As every day turned into one of her episodes that I was so drained listening to, to the point I’d barely say a word and then we’d fuck again.

After a while the sex never changed even that didn’t progress and get better it just remained the same as it always was almost like it’s a performance for them.

I stated on one of my previous posts that it was almost an emotional regulation tool for her as after sex most of the time we’d be happy for a couple hours.

If the sex was awful how long would you have really stayed? What hooked you every time you forgave and went back. Did you think I really miss the way she talks to me and devalues every aspect of me or did you think I miss the high hit of dopamine I get when we have sex.

I read so many stories here about the sex they had with their pwBPD and wonder if this was the only or at least the main thing that kept you glued??

Since being with a person with BPD and seeing their stories and the way they behave in and out of public and how they show themselves to the nation.

Do you find yourself looking at people you know of on social media and think you can see traits that make you wonder if they have it too??

Since my relationship there are a few other women I know of but not too well and seeing their stories makes me think they may be hiding the same secret

Se me and my ex pwbpd broke up about 3days ago and Im blocked everywhere other than telegram. This was very usual throughout our relationship to be blocked in almost all areas but she would just leave the door open.

Part of me just wants to block her there so I don’t see it anymore. But I have never blocked anyone as I see it being quite childish. I generally feel if someone wants to contact me they can with good news or bad.

If she rang now I wouldn’t answer if she messaged I don’t even think I’d write back or if I did I’d still stand my ground

Thoughts???

So we broke up again and for what is the last time as I broke up with her. She took it so well but we had to spend the next 24 hours together before she could leave.

Within that 24 hours we had a great day together where she opened up and we spoke about how the relationship just wasn’t working etc and she took it all well. Then she exploded and got violent and smashed my belongings stole some other expensive items and cash and left.

Maybe her way of feeling like she ended it, I don’t really know but we’ve not spoken since and don’t plan too.

We broke up many times in the past and I felt hurt and wanted her back, missed her a lot etc etc. this time I feel fine in myself other than I feel absolutely exhausted I’m struggling to see a full day through at work. I’m coming home and even cooking dinner or doing the washing feels like a mountain of work when generally I actually enjoy being busy and moving around doing things and socialising. I find myself just wanting to be alone and yawning 🥱 iv been sleeping well but wake up like iv not slept at all.

Just wondering if you all felt the same.

For context we spent 1.5 years together in a long distance relationship. We spend approximately 1week per month together but spent hours on the phone almost daily.

It’s long but please read, look forward to hearing from you all

So after 1.5 years with my now ex BPD partner (female 27 for context) after hundreds of splits, name calling, false accusations, many break ups,silent treatments, cheating threats etc etc… you all know how it goes

We planned to spend about a week at my house together, on day 2 she started shouting at me over me having a different opinion on a landlords right (nothing important)

Day3, she decided to walk my 13 year old dog 7miles whilst I was at work after multiple times me telling her he can now only walk about a mile. He was crying in pain when she rang miles from home in a panic for me to go get her. All she wanted was pizza when I got there so I was taking the dog home and to have a shower before heading out. She absolutely lost it in the car hitting the dash threatening to hit me (this was a first)

Day4, I went to work for half a day and asked her in the morning not to walk the dog again and she said ok (he was still crying and limping in pain from the day before) I rushed home from work when I realised and they were another 4 miles from home. I picked them up and said nothing took the dog home and left to go the pizza place from the day before. Half way there she started telling me everything wrong about myself. I said why are you still here if that’s the way you feel. All hell let loose and she lost it. I took her home and said I think it’s best we end it she started kicking and screaming, slamming doors. Threw a drink at me and told me to book her a flight home so I did.

Then the apologies started and the tears begun, I told her I still felt the same and I can’t live like this anymore. She asked if she could leave in the morning, stupid me accepted. In the morning she was calm and we had a really calm conversation and I explained all of the above and she was apologetic. She then said can we finish this trip together and then go back to our own lives and I accepted. She was amazing the whole day. We had great fun and it reminded me of the day we met amazing fun all day. Happy smiling and laughing together (don’t ask me how) in the evening she lost it in bed belittling me again about ridiculous made up things in her head till i fell sleep.

The final day- I woke up and spoke to her to be completely ignored, I offered breakfast, no response. I said don’t forget we’re heading to the beach today to meet friends as planned and she said she didn’t want to go. I said I have to go. She stomped around the house name calling. Ringing her only friend to slander me at a volume she knew I could hear. Told me to leave already, so I left, she rang me 20 minutes later telling me to turn around, she’s calm now and she wants to see me. I said no I’m almost there and I’m not your pet you can’t tell me what to do and this is just another one of your games. You’ve had all night and morning to calm down but you only realise when I leave and I’m not doing this anymore. She said you’ll retreat this.

I came home to my £1200 work iPad smashed, my £600 coat missing £500 cash gone I gad in the house and to be honest somehow I feel at peace. And strangely calm about it all. The final day cost me quite a bit but I feel like it’s completely worth it.

I never expected me to allow this to happen for so long or ever get to this point. She has taught me a lot though. What not to tolerate in the future and to follow your gut the first time something seems off.

As the title I should have listened sooner and go out to save myself the time,finance and stress iv I sure the last 18months.