[QCrit] GOLDEN SHADOW - YA Fantasy (dystopian) - 97k - Third attempt
Thank you very much for the previous feedback, it was incredibly helpful. I've now revised my query letter accordingly and changed one comp. Any further feedback would be much appreciated.
I'm also considering marketing it as dystopian fantasy, even though it's set in modern-day London, as it has a dystopian feel. Do you think this could work, or would it be better to keep it simply as YA fantasy?
Dear [Agent],
Given your interest in [add personalisation], you may be interested in my Atlantis-meets-Assassin’s-Creed novel, GOLDEN SHADOW, complete at 97,000 words.
Set in modern-day London, GOLDEN SHADOW is the first book in a YA fantasy duology with romance. It has the political machinations and urban dystopian vibes of THE BONE SEASON series, the ancient secret societies of LEGENDBORN, and the underground world of US DARK FEW.
Eighteen-year-old Cora is an ambitious bookworm destined to one day succeed her uncle as leader of Lumos—an ancient secret elite that controls the world. But when she is framed for the murder of four Lumos members during her initiation, Lumos brands her a traitor and orders her execution.
Feeling betrayed, she flees to the rebel group Khaos, Lumos’s centuries-old enemy, in their underground base beneath London. There, torn between loyalty to the elite that raised her and the rebellion that saved her life, she must figure out who she wants to be as she searches for the truth behind her betrayal. She also finds an ally—and maybe something more—in the last person she ever expected: Hugo, her childhood rival and a Lumos assassin who uses his privileged position within the elite to support the rebellion and spy for Khaos.
While in exile, Cora finds a new purpose in supporting Khaos in their ultimate—but nearly impossible—goal of freeing the world from Lumos’s corruption. To defeat them, she must uncover the secrets behind a lost civilisation and its connection to her newfound powers, a raw energy force that she can shape and weaponise at will, and the only thing that powers ancient technology. And so, she becomes entangled in a millennia-old conflict—one where she can trust no one, not even her friends, and failure means the destruction of freedom and the end of the world as she knows it.
I have already outlined the sequel to GOLDEN SHADOW and I am currently writing my next project [short description of next project].
[Bio]
Thanks for your consideration.
Kind regards,