u/KPbICMAH

A ton of bricks or a ton of feathers? >!The ton of feathers because you have to live with the weight of what you did to those poor birds.!<

• A frog went for a DNA test. The results came back >!99.9% amphibian and a tad Polish.!<
• What does the antisocial, know-it-all frog say? >!Reddit, Reddit, Reddit.!<
• Did you hear about the new frog movie? >!I hear it's ribbiting.!<
• Why are frogs so happy? >!Because they eat whatever bugs them.!<
• Where do frogs go when they get really ill? >!The hopital.!<

A poultry-obsessed wife brings home two baby geese and promptly sets up their coop, pool, and feed on the back patio, stating they would be more comfortable there. She spends hours outside tending to, cooing at, and cuddling them ... much to the annoyance of her husband.

One day, he decides it would be better to show an interest in her new pets than sit alone on the couch. He sits next to her, grabs a piece of grass to feed them, and calls them over. They ignore him. Again, he tries calling and shaking the tasty morsel. Nothing. His wife blithely says, “They don’t understand you. They don’t speak English.”

Incredulous, the man retorts that they don’t speak any language. His wife replies, “Isn’t it obvious? They’re Porch-a-geese.”