r/dadjokes

Things went sideways real fast.

Good shape, low mileage...

Only driven from time to time.

You can't take the Lord's name in vein.

They made a big deal out of it, but really it was small potatoes.

“… that’s a salt and battery.”

You can't jelly a copier

Partial arts
(unsure if it is a repost but found it quite funny)

The first says, "I smell sugar."

The second says, "I smell honey."

The third says, "I smell molasses."

I just can't get the thyming right.

I put my hand on their shoulder and said, “Look, I’ll always support you whether you choose to be a trans now or a trans later.”

Everything was going too fast and there were too many ups and downs for her.

Cause there's always beef between them.

But it turned out, that love means nothing to them.

The horse said, "Neigh, my good man, I already ate. I'll just have a beer."

Apparently they said "Now that ain't workin', that's the way you do it, monkeys for nothing and your chimps for free".

... I said "I don’t Bolivia!".

He was Goodwill hunting

They call me the partender.

I said "relax, it's not the end of the world."

Wooden chew like to know?