My (35F) husband (32M) and friends (30F, 32M) have overlooked my birthday and I’m left feeling really hurt
There are way too many birthdays this month. In May, the birthdays are: my mum’s, my sister-in-law’s, my mother-in-law’s, my sister, 2 of my friends (married to each other) and mine. I’ve also had a friend’s funeral this month so it’s been a lot.
It was our friend, Bee’s, 30th at the start of the month and they asked us (me and my husband) to help with food and decorations. We did, it was fun.
Then I went away for my friend’s funeral and our other friend (married to Bee) has been planning their birthday. We’re going to have a games night. They sent us a lot of messages about setting up for games night on the day of the funeral. I was busy helping with the funeral and all’s fine.
I let them all know (husband and friends) that for my birthday I just want to chill out with my husband. I’ve spent a lot of this month setting up for people’s birthdays, spending my time off doing trips for people’s birthdays, generally feeling v tired and overwhelmed.
On the weekend of my birthday, the friends are arranging a birthday party for their business. I learned today that they’ve asked my husband to take photos for it and he’s agreed to. No one in any of these plans has acknowledged that it’ll be my birthday and I might want a say in what my husband and I get up to.
I’m feeling really hurt and overwhelmed and as though a lot of my relationships here (we moved here a couple of years ago) are very one way. I’m kind of tempted to book a place to go away, just me, on the weekend of my birthday. At least I can look after myself.
I don’t think my reasons for feeling hurt are understood—is that because I have unreasonable expectations or something else? Is it even worth me feeling upset? How do I manage these relationships moving forward?