This is my friend from elementary school who said this to me after my daughter died.
“ I mean this with so much love.... You know how hard nannying is? Mothering is harder. More thankless too. I know me telling you this will likely just piss you off, but the freedom you have is what every mother wishes she had. Every single one”
I didn’t respond.
She has since reached out saying “I hope you’re ok”.
My bf hosted a party at his place for one of his friends birthdays that I didn’t get invited to. I found out that there were gonna be girls there from another gf who also didn’t get an invite. I don’t know the birthday guy very well and the reasoning why I wasn’t invited was cause the other gf wasnt invited either. I’m really upset to think I wouldn’t be invited to this party with 15-20 people there and it makes me spiral a little about the fact there are other women there. I understand the fact that I don’t know the guy whose birthday it was personally, but shouldn’t it be a given that girlfriends are invited if there are other women there? I feel like I come off as insecure when I say it out loud, but something doesn’t sit right with me about the whole situation. I don’t know if the whole party was close friends only but I do know I was not specifically invited by the birthday guy, but the fact it’s at their house should mean they can invite whoever they want. I personally don’t ever see myself being in a situation like this where I wouldn’t invite him (unless it was women only).
I’m really not insecure when it comes to him doing things without me and I also want to respect that he has friends and I don’t get an auto invite to every single outing. I also understand not everyone wants SOs there, but I genuinely haven’t intruded on any of their group hangouts before. It would be one thing if it wasn’t at his own house or was a small group, but this seems more intentional. I always encourage him to do things with his friends and I never expect and invite to their nights out. He doesn’t go out with them super often and recently every time he’s gone out has been with me and my friends.
We’ve been together for over 2 years and he’s never given me any reason to not trust him. We’re both 21 and his friends are in college. Anyways am I being too insecure and sensitive, or is this an actual reason to be upset. Looking for all opinions and am very open to hearing from other perspectives!!
Edit: he already apologized and said he understands why I feel that way and he will be better in future situations but I don’t feel like we had an actual productive conversation about it and I didn’t get an actual reason why I wasn’t invited.
Update: I talked to her. She told me she kept it from me cause she doesn't want me to judge her or take her boyfriend's side when she asks him to buy her expensive gifts. They were arguing about this issue cause her boyfriend's income isn't enough to buy those gifts all the time. In the past she expected her boyfriend to constantly buy her expensive things even though he couldn't afford it and I told her it wasn't fair and that he "isn't her credit card". I still believe it's not fair but won't say anything any longer.
My sister and I are both adults. She is in her late 20s. I never ever know when she is dating someone because she hides it from me but all her friends know. She doesn't think I will try to break them up or snatch him , so I really don't understand why she keeps this from me. She dated her ex for almost a year and I only found out AFTER they broke up and by ACCIDENT! I heard her talk about him with her friend and confronted her. At first she got nervous and denied it but then she admitted it. That was several months ago. I told her many times that this made me feel betrayed , specially that all her friends knew and she told me she won't do it again.
Today she went out with her "friend" but came home early. I thought it was suspicious cause when she goes out with friends she never comes home early. When I was passing by her bedroom I heard her talking to a guy on the phone. They were arguing. It was obvious the guy is her boyfriend! I have no idea if it is her ex she got back with or it's a new guy! I didn't confront her this time. I still feel very shocked and numb! I can't believe she has done it again. I really feel betrayed. I don't know if I'm overreacting or not. I'm starting to develop trust issues. I feel like I don't even know her. We always have been very close and told each other everything, or at least I thought we did. When I am dating someone I tell her everything in details , probably because I am an idiot. Do you think I am overreacting? Is this normal behavior? Why would she do this?
Edit: I didn't put everything in my post so I say it here. My sister has double standards. She has different rules for her and different rules for me. If I don't tell her about my private things she will get mad at me but she never tells me anything about hers. She has all my passwords cause "we are sisters and should know each others passwords" she gave hers to me but immediately changed it. Our relationship is very unbalanced like I take care of her when she is sick but she never takes care of me when I am sick. Once she left me to go to a party when I was very sick, later my mom found me unconscious on the floor and took me to the hospital.
She gets mad if her friends pay any attention to me like once one of her friends who was my schoolmate followed me on insta, when she found out she got mad and told me to block her. She has never allowed her friends to be with me in the same room. Some of her friends think there is something wrong with me , a few of them even thought I am mentally disabled. I don't know what she has told them about me. She has lied and made up many stories to keep me from seeing her boyfriend and friends.
She pretended to be single and asked me to find her a good boyfriend while she was dating her ex. She has told me several times that when she marries she doesn't want me to be more than strangers with her husband cause "it's her husband, not mine" but when we talked about when i get married she told me that I should bring her to my honeymoon and it's okay cause she will be in another room. She also always expects me to bring her to all my friends' gatherings, events and vacations. If I don't , she will get mad and defensive.
I felt betrayed because the last time we talked about this she told me that she will never keep such a thing from me again and said I was her "person" , whatever that means! Yet she did it again! And lied left and right. I feel like I am an idiot!
I have a friend that I’ve been hanging out with a lot recently and today they offered us to hang out together at their house at their request.
I said I was excited to come over and hang out and have a good time and talk about life. I was really looking forward to it.
I messaged them early in the morning about what time should I show up figuring that probably noon or 2 o’clock might be best. They didn’t really respond back until 3 PM and then that was to say that they weren’t sure when they would be free because after they get off work, they wanted to go to the gym and they weren’t really sure what time they would leave the gym.
I said no worries and just to let me know when it got closer to that time. It got way later and they finally texted me saying that they wouldn’t be able to meet up with me and apologized for it.
I just feel kind of weird about it. It was their suggestion to hang out with me today, so I kind of cleared my whole schedule to hang out with them. Then when I actually asked them what time they wanted to hang out, they couldn’t give me an exact time and ended up canceling the plans.
I’m just feeling a little bit irritated that I kind of wasted my whole day because I was waiting for them to tell me essentially when it would be a good time to meet up with them.
Thoughts and opinions?
​
I’m 24F and I recently moved to Joburg. I met a 40M I had been talking to online, and we had video-called before meeting, so he had already seen me on camera.
Before meeting him, I had sent him a picture of myself wearing a fitted crop top. When I actually went to meet him, I was wearing a black cardigan,polo neck, jeans and heels , so my body was obviously much more covered.
After meeting, he told me he didn’t see us moving forward romantically because the expectations from the photo I sent him versus meeting in person didn’t align for him. He said my “body profile” was different.
I got upset because I felt like he was implying that I had misrepresented myself. He never literally said “you’re fake,” but that's how I interpreted what he was saying.
I responded sarcastically that “then I should have come wearing a crop top,” because I was angry and felt judged. He then said he couldn't believe I thought he was fake and mentioned that I had unmatched him on the dating app.
The thing is, I genuinely didn't care whether he was short or tall. His height wasn't something I was judging him for. I came to meet him because I genuinely wanted to get to know him.
I'm not upset that he wasn't attracted to me. Everyone is entitled to their preferences. What bothered me was feeling like my body was being compared to one particular picture, when clothing, angles and posture can obviously change how someone's body looks.
He's also 40 and presents himself as a man of God, so I expected the situation to be handled with a little more maturity and grace.
I know I was angry when I responded, so maybe I could have handled my reaction better. But was I wrong for feeling offended by his comment, or am I taking it too personally?
I’m looking for some outside opinions because I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this.
My boyfriend often jokes that he wants for example to break my jaw or that he wants to hurt me. He also sometimes says that he wants to hurt someone else. He says it as a joke, but it happens quite often.
He also pinches me quite often, even though he knows it hurts me. I’ve told him that it hurts, but he still does it.
I know some couples joke around and tease each other, but these comments and the fact that he intentionally hurts me make me uncomfortable.
Would you consider this normal/harmless joking, or is this something I should take seriously? I’d really appreciate some honest advice.
I’m looking for some outside opinions because I’m not sure if I’m overthinking this.
My boyfriend often jokes that he wants for example to break my jaw or that he wants to hurt me. He also sometimes says that he wants to hurt someone else. He says it as a joke, but it happens quite often.
He also pinches me quite often, even though he knows it hurts me. I’ve told him that it hurts, but he still does it.
I know some couples joke around and tease each other, but these comments and the fact that he intentionally hurts me make me uncomfortable.
Would you consider this normal/harmless joking, or is this something I should take seriously? I’d really appreciate some honest advice.
I need some advice on what to do about my current girlfriend. I care about her, but she acts extremely cringe in public. It feels like she is completely dysregulated when it comes to expressing herself around other people. Here are a couple of examples:
**With my friends:** On several occasions, during conversations with friends she had just met a few minutes earlier, she couldn't immediately get into the flow of the chatter—which I think is completely normal. However, she doesn't seem to read the room or match the tone at all. Every single time, she hogs the spotlight by loudly interrupting everyone else to rant about her own personal business. At first, my friends are tolerant, but because she keeps doing it over and over, the cringe makes everyone completely ignore her, treating her like a disruption. And when she goes on these rants, she doesn't stop after a few seconds—she can go on for minutes and minutes.
**With my family:** Unfortunately, she once completely blew up at me over a minor thing, scolding me like a child in front of my relatives. Specifically, I had accidentally damaged some souvenirs we had bought that same day, which I immediately made arrangements to replace. While she was upstairs taking a shower, I took the items to show my aunt and uncle—who live in the area where we bought them—just to ask where I could find identical replacements nearby. She actually came back downstairs just to double down on berating me, because heaven forbid I touch her precious belongings (a grand total of €35 worth of ceramics).
Unfortunately, incidents like the second one make her very unattractive to me, to the point where I lose all physical attraction to her for days. I know that as time passes, I get used to it again and we get back to being good, but I know these episodes will keep happening. The worst part is that she makes these gaffes whenever social situations come up, so it gives me anxiety knowing she could do something embarrassing at any second.
I'm struggling to figure out whether I can hold out hope that she might change enough to make her behavior tolerable, or if this is a lost cause.
Me and my girlfriend have been dating for three years, she has just started college and is planning on going to a party this weekend. Normally I wouldn’t be too upset, but this time she has told me I can’t come. She goes to a different college than most of her friends, so she is partying with them this weekend. I just feel uncomfortable and I wanted some advice on what to do. I don’t think she would cheat, but I just have this feeling that something will happen. Ever since we started dating, we have gone to every party together. Especially college parties (most of our friends are older so we would tag along) because they are normally packed with dudes who hit on her, or just do weird things in general. I know she wants to see her friends alone, which is fine but not letting me come with her to this party just rubs me the wrong way. Please let me know if I am spiraling or if I actually have a good reason to feel weird right now.
I'm 23F and my older brother (30M) has now told me off a 3rd time for the way I speak at home. He says I speak too childishly, that I need to "grow up and speak like an adult", and today he said I "talk like a spacker."
The thing is, I don't speak like this in public or with strangers. It's mainly something I do around my family because I'm comfortable with them. Sometimes I'll randomly pronounce something in a silly way, switch into a Valley Girl-type accent for a sentence, or my voice will go higher when I'm excited.
For example, today I'd barely spoken for most of the day. My dad brought home pizza and I got excited and happily said "pizza!" in a high-pitched voice. My brother immediately criticised the way I said it and told me I need to speak like an adult.
I also sometimes make little noises without really thinking about it. If I drop something, for example, I might automatically go "weh" or "nyeh." I honestly didn't even think about the fact that I did this until my brother started pointing it out. They're not noises I deliberately put on to irritate people — they just come out sometimes when I'm relaxed at home.
When I tried defending myself and saying that's just how I talk when I'm comfortable, he got annoyed and started swearing at me. He has quite a temper, so arguing back with him tends to escalate things. My dad was there but didn't say anything, which I think is partly because he doesn't want to set my brother off.
What bothers me is that my brother frames this as me needing to "act like an adult." I don't think being playful with my voice at home means I'm incapable of behaving appropriately when I need to. I'm perfectly capable of speaking normally/professionally with strangers and in serious situations.
It also feels a bit hypocritical because he's very particular about what behaviour of mine counts as "adult", while there are plenty of normal adult responsibilities he doesn't do himself, like cooking, laundry or washing his own dishes. But I'm aware that might be separate from whether his criticism of my speech is actually fair.
His comments have started making me self-conscious because these are things I previously did without even noticing.
Also, for context, I have ADHD and I’m medicated for it. I’m not sure whether the random noises/changes in tone are related to that or just part of how I naturally act when I’m comfortable, but I thought it might be relevant. Just wanted to vent so I might delete this post later, but thanks to whoever reads this
Awhile ago i made my boyfriend block this girl in his gaming friend group, yeah I'm insecure. But today he was playing overwatch 1 on one with her and earlier I wanted to play fortnite with him but he didnt want to. He asked me if it was ok to play with her because he seen that I was upset. I shook my head no and told him to just play because he was in a match with her and at this point I'm tearing up. I leave the room, he plays with her. I go sit alone in the camper outside, just to cry and to be alone. He texts and calls very angrily because he said it was fucked up of me to just dissappear randomly. I'm back inside and he's been ignoring me and just laughing at reels on his phone. Was I overreacting? What do I do, we just bought a place together.
Hello Reddit, buckle up because this one’s a doozy. 😭
For context, this happened almost a year ago, but I’m posting because something new happened recently that has me questioning whether I was justified in how I handled everything. Also, I don’t know where to post this.
If you want to skip the backstory, you can jump to “THE INCIDENT” and then “UPDATE”,
Backstory:
At the time, I was 22F and my boyfriend JO was 23M. We had been together for about four years and had a very healthy relationship. We moved about two hours away from our hometown for college.
My boyfriend is Filipino and joined the Filipino club at our university. The club is open to everyone, although most members are Filipino, and it has a mentorship/family system. You get assigned an older student as your mentor, who becomes your “Kuya” (older brother) or “Ate” (pronounce Ah-Teh, which means older sister). Their mentors become your “Grand” siblings, etc. Through the club, my boyfriend became friends with JM (22M), E (19M), and C (19F).
C's original mentor eventually dropped her because, according to C, they didn't click and the mentor thought C was too pushy and weird. C was understandably hurt by this and asked JO if he would unofficially become her mentor instead. He agreed because he genuinely loves mentoring people. He had grown up as a Bible-study youth leader and really enjoys helping younger people.
At first, everything and everyone was great. We all became a close friend group and did pretty much everything together. However, before I even really knew C, I noticed that JO spent A LOT of time with her, and when I noticed things was never an “insecure feeling”, I was just curious why she would call him very late at night. JO, without giving too much information, mentioned that she was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple years back. So she constantly needed someone to talk to. I wasn't upset about that by itself. >!Both my boyfriend and I have had people close to us struggle and even end *it* (RIP) due severe depression, so I understood why he would want to be there for her.!< But eventually I started noticing some things that made me uncomfortable.
C was extremely friendly with JO. She once told me that he was basically the only man who had ever given her the time of day and that “he's always there for her.” >!She also talked VERY openly about her sex life. Like, extremely openly. She would tell the group about hookups, details about where/when/how things happened, etc. She had an inside joke about an ex supposedly giving her “14 orgasms in one night,” and would bring up the number 14 constantly. She also randomly liked saying the word “vagina”, so there’s that too!< >!😭!<>!.!< She also liked to talk constantly about her ex, Matt, too, and how sweet, handsome, and amazing he was. Not that it matters too much, but they had mutually broken up because she was moving from NorCal to SoCal for college, but she still talked about missing him all the time.
At one point, she called my boyfriend during one of our picnic dates and texted him beforehand saying, “Hey, can we talk? I have something to tell you.” Naturally, he thought something serious had happened. Nope. >!She had just hooked up with someone from her dorm and wanted to tell him where it happened and how it was.!< My boyfriend basically responded with, “Oh... okay? Is that all you wanted to call me for? I thought you said it was important.”
>!Afterward, I told him that I thought it was strange that she specifically needed to call him to tell him about her sex life, especially knowing he had a girlfriend. He told me that whenever she brought up sexual stuff around him, he shut it down because he didn't want to participate in those conversations.!< I eventually messaged C directly and said something along the lines of: >!“!<>!Hey, I know you're very open about your sex life, but would you mind not talking about it around/to JO or calling him specifically to tell him about it? It makes me uncomfortable.”!< She apologized and said she didn't realize she was crossing a boundary. She said she didn't have anyone else to tell besides my boyfriend and JM, and JM happened to be in class. I accepted the apology.
Eventually, C and I actually became pretty close. We started having weekly “girl dates” and would hang out one-on-one. We joked around a lot and I genuinely considered her my friend, but even while we were becoming friends, I noticed she would constantly ask about JO.
“How are you and JO?”
“How is JO family?”
“Where is JO right now? Why didn’t he come?”
“How are JO’s finals?”
She rarely asked about me, specifically.
One time she even looked me in the face and said: “YOUR JO really reminds me of MY Matt. He's so sweet to me.” Exactly like that. I was honestly like... “Uhhh, thanks?”
She would also frequently ask the whole group to hang out and study, but whenever we did, she'd sit next to my boyfriend and constant ask him for help with things related to his research. And that wasn’t the issue, the issue was that everyone else in the room was in the same research lab and knew the material too. Yet somehow, she always specifically wanted him to help her. And at times she would sort of “un-intentionally” touch his arm, his hand, and place her hand on his back when he sat/hovered over her to help with work. Maybe that was the mentor-mentee relationship she wanted? I don’t know. Another side note: She also seemed to have this.. “pick-me” behavior we are all so familiar with, and when she would talk to JO (& it was only with JO) she would use this sort of, uhm baby voice? Like her voice went up a pitch and sounded “softer & sweet” when she talked to JO. Imagine the way a typical little girl would change her voice when she wanted something from her parents, that’s the tone she went for. And honestly, maybe I’m just picking her apart to find something to “pin against her” in my brain, I don’t know .
But at that point, I was getting a bit frustrated. I told her again that some of her behavior around my boyfriend made me uncomfortable and that we'd already talked about it. She apologized again, yet nothing really changed. And honestly, I was kind of a pushover about it. I trusted my boyfriend completely and didn't want to be the jealous girlfriend who made an issue out of everything.
The Incident:
The last week of classes before spring break, C, E, JM and I were talking in our group chat.
C said: “Someone just hit on me at the restaurant on campus! 🤭 Ask E, he was there”
I jokingly responded: “Suureeee!!! It's giving self-centered 😂” And before you all come for my jugular about that comment, that was genuinely a joke between us. We constantly joked with each other using the “umm it's giving __” format, and it had never been an issue that was brought up before.
She immediately got upset and responded in the group chat that she felt disrespected every time I made jokes like that when she shared things about her life, and that it made her uncomfortable.
In all honestly, I was already having a terrible day with it being my brothers 1yr anniversary of **⚠️Att****ed sui**e⚠️** so I might’ve been out of pocket with the aggression but honestly, I was fed up with the double standard. So I messaged her privately.
In the messages, I basically told her that I found it frustrating that she was calling me out for making a joke when I had repeatedly told her that her behavior toward JO made me uncomfortable, and brought up how she would apologize but then continue doing the same things. I told her that I wasn't trying to accuse her of making advanced with my boyfriend or anything like that. I was just saying that, from my perspective, she repeatedly crossed boundaries with him while expecting me to be extremely careful about hers.
She ended up cutting contact with both me and JO. JO wasn't even in the group chat (he never reads or responds to anyone’s msgs 🙄) and had no idea any of this happened. Later that same night I told him what happened and asked how he felt.
He basically said: “Honestly, I’m indifferent. Ultimately it's between you and her. If she chooses not to talk to me because of this, I'm okay with it. There's no reason for me to do or say anything else because everything that needed to be said was already said on both sides.” So we left it alone. During her silence she quietly restricted JO and I on all her socials (which for those who don’t know, on Instagram you can restrict someone’s account which basically means they can still follow you but they can’t see any of your posts/stories/reels anymore. Essentially, a free follow, which she loved because she wants to be an influencer someday).
Then, two days before the new quarter started, C emailed my boyfriend. Emailed.. She sent him a voice message in that email saying that she was sorry, but she was choosing to end their mentorship and friendship. She said she needed time away from him due to ‘personal reasons’ and thanked him for everything he had taught her, said he had shown her kindness and love she had never experienced before, and said she would miss him. My boyfriend said he was fine with it. He was very obviously sad about losing a mentee he'd spent two years mentoring, but he made it clear to me that he wasn't devastated because it was specifically C. He just genuinely cared about his role as a mentor and had invested a lot of time and effort into it. And that's where things ended.
Update — almost a year later (which is why I'm posting this now):
Recently, C posted something on her spam account. JM, and other mutual friends who follow her spam, saw it and JM sent it to me because he thought it was in his words “without a doubt” about JO. And... y'all. I don't know what to make of it.
The post was essentially a message to my boyfriend. She talked about how she would never forget the times he helped her understand her emotions, let her cry to him, taught her how to read research papers, helped her write resumes, and helped her learn about herself.
She said: “I know you loved me and I loved you too.” She talked about how much it hurt when she saw him again after “an extended period of time” and said that he had “definitely moved on.”
She mentioned that she now has a new boyfriend, is leading projects, has learned a new Filipino dialect, is doing well in school, is managing her depression better, and has a mentee of her own. She said she wonders who he is now and what he's like, and that she'll probably see him at a conference someday.
She also said:
“I miss our friendship and mentorship, but I had to protect myself. And I don't regret leaving you, but it's times like this, I will miss you.”
And then she ended with:
“Thank you Kuya for calling me your little and Angel.”
That is where I'm confused. JO has confirmed that he has never called her an “angel” in their time together. He did mention his contact for her in his phone was “My Little 😇,” which was just a reference to her being his younger sibling/mentee in the Filipino club, and had an angel emoji because he saw her as her little sister.
But reading this post feels... incredibly intimate?
Even almost like a breakup letter? Or a letter to a former lover? Maybe I'm projecting because of everything that happened before. Maybe she genuinely viewed him as an older brother/mentor and was just extremely emotionally attached to that relationship.
But when I combine this with:
- Calling JO late at night because she was feeling anxious about a current/past relationship.
>!- Calling him during odd hours of the day to specifically to tell him about a hookup.!<
>!- Frequently talking about her sex life around him despite knowing he was uncomfortable.!<
- Constantly seeking his attention/help even when others could help.
- Telling me JO’s kindness towards her reminded her of her ex.
- Frequently asking about my relationship with JO.
- Saying JO was the only man who had really given her the time of day because he was always there for her.
- Getting extremely emotionally attached to their mentorship.
- Ending their relationship in an email voice message saying he had shown her “kindness and love” she'd never experienced before
- And now writing something that sounds, to me and apparently several other mutual friends, like a breakup letter almost a year after cutting contact… I can't help but wonder if I was actually picking up on something.
I just can't help but wonder if I was actually picking up on something, or reading into something that isn’t there.
So, Reddit: AIBTS/AIO/AITA.H. for calling C out and telling her that her behavior toward my boyfriend made me uncomfortable?
Should I have just stayed out of it because I trusted my boyfriend and let the mentorship/friendship run its course until we graduated?
And regarding the update: am I reading WAY too much into her post, or does this sound unusually emotionally intimate for a former mentor/mentee relationship?
I genuinely want honest opinions. If I was being possessive or reading things incorrectly, I'm willing to accept that. I just don't know anymore. And for those of you reading this and likely saying or thinking that JO should’ve stood up for himself/me or handled it, please lmk if maybe that’s also something I’m not considering? Again, I am open to acknowledging I am wrong/overreacting/the asshole/too sensitive. Thank you!
Also, here is the OG Instagram post, word for word:
“I will never forget the times you've helped me see my emotions, let me cry to you, teach me how to read research papers, write good resumes, and help me learn about myself. I hope you're proud of me. I'm proud of you. I know you loved me and I loved you too. I'm sure because you're so utilitarian you'd probably accepted us and don't really think of me. I didn't know how much hurt I would be when I saw you again for a prolonged period of time. You've definitely moved on. But you know so have I. Things are changing and moving for both of us. I wish I could speak to you again and tell you everything that's happened. I have a new boyfriend. I'm leading two new projects. I've learned Bisaya. I'm learning to love reading. My grades are amazing. I'm managing my depression better. I have a mentee who I relate with. Being Philipino means everything to me. I wonder who you are now. I wonder how you're like. I'm sure l'll see you in a distant conference from now. But for now, I'm leaving the lab you've inspired me to get into. It's time to leave. I miss our friendship and mentorship, but I had to protect myself. And I don't regret leaving you, but it's times like this, I will miss you. Thank you Kuya for calling me your little and Angel. 2358”
*The 2358 at the end is the time of when she posted. That’s kinda like her sign-off on her insta.
My girl talks to a close male friend of hers and I keep saying it's making me feel jealous and you should maintain some gap so she just gets mad at me. I mean isn't it pretty simple that no boyfriend would like it when their girlfriend talks of crying on someone else's shoulder. But now that 8 confronted her she got panic attacks and left me saying we need a break and I will return and make sure nothing changes. I don't think she will return tho but whtvr. Kinda missing her now...
At their wedding, my friend’s husband pointed out how I was a nice pillow because two women guests were leaning on me for rest and I looked him in the eye and said I do not mind being a pillow. Now I feel angry !
Had a friend over this evening, I was opening up about my relationship issues and shared that my boyfriend struggles to communicate in real time (especially during conflict). As she was leaving I was being negative about the weather this coming week, she said “you have to accept the weather just like you need to accept that your boyfriend can’t communicate in real time”. We’d been drinking and this was right before she left so I didn’t really get a chance to process or say anything back, but now I’m thinking that was a really rude thing to say. Am I overthinking this?
My partner(M) of 12 years became upset because I challenged him after being secretive with his phone. After a small argument I turned over to go to sleep and he lent over me, cupped my cheek with an open hand and very gently tapped it twice. I immediately said what the fuck was that? He said it’s just what Italians do to show respect. I told him that I took it as a warning tap and not to do it again. He thinks I’m overreacting. So am I?
My boyfriend is also my boss, and we've been together for 7 months. We were having a one-on-one meeting, which is pretty normal for us because I usually help him with some work-related things.
He asked me a question, and then he called me by his manager's name. Not once, but twice
I know people can accidentally mix up names, but hearing him call me another woman's name twice really bothered me, especially because it was another woman he knows personally.
Redditors, should I be concerned about this, or am I overthinking an honest mistake? I want to understand whether this is something worth paying attention to or if I should just let it go.
**TLDR:** My 39M boyfriend accidentally called me, his 22F girlfriend, by another woman's name twice during a private meeting. Should I be concerned, or am I overthinking it?
My boyfriend is friends with one of his coworkers, and he goes over to his house pretty often for dinner and to hang out. Through him, he met his coworker’s girlfriend, and apparently they get along really well.
At first I didn’t think much of it, but now they text/Facebook message all the time. She sends him reels, they bullshit throughout the day, and he’s over at their house usually a couple times a week. The part that bothers me is that I’m never invited. He has met basically every single one of my friends, but I’ve never actually been included with these people even though he spends so much time with them.
A few weeks ago my car broke down while he was helping them move. I called him because I genuinely needed help, and apparently she was telling him to ignore my calls. When he finally answered and I explained that my car had broken down, she said something along the lines of my car probably not actually being broken down and that I was just insecure because he was with them and wanted his attention.
That really rubbed me the wrong way considering I’ve never even met this woman.
I ended up friend requesting her on Facebook because I figured if she’s this close with my boyfriend and he’s constantly at their house, maybe we could at least know each other. She never accepted it, but she continues to Facebook message him constantly.
Another thing that bothered me was that he normally goes to their house on Thursdays. One Thursday he decided to come see me instead, and she had apparently made lasagna because it’s his favorite food. She was upset that he wasn’t coming, so he rescheduled dinner with them for Friday. She told him that was fine, but that “it won’t be lasagna.”
None of these things individually necessarily mean anything is going on, but altogether it’s starting to make me uncomfortable. Especially because she seems very invested in when he comes over, cooks specifically for him, messages him constantly, has made comments about me being insecure, and has no interest in actually knowing me.
When I bring it up, my boyfriend tells me I’m being controlling and that he’s allowed to have friends. I completely agree that he’s allowed to have friends. I don’t want to control who he talks to. I just feel like there’s a difference between having friends and having this weirdly close relationship with another woman who seems openly hostile toward your girlfriend.
Am I overreacting because I’m insecure, or is this a reasonable boundary to be uncomfortable with? How would you handle this?
Bit of a silly thing to be overthinking, but my girlfriend’s birthday is next week and I’ve been quietly waiting for her to officially invite me or talk about plans together. So far, every time it comes up she just says she hopes all her friends can make it no mention of me specifically being invited, no talk of us celebrating one-on-one, nothing about where I fit into things. I know I’m her boyfriend and logically I should assume I’m included, but it’s honestly got me feeling pretty overlooked and unsure. Part of me feels stupid for even worrying about it, but I keep wondering, am I reading too much into this? Should I just ask her directly instead of sitting here waiting? Has anyone else dealt with something like this before?