r/AmIBeingTooSensitive

I am with my gf for 11 years. Her family, first of all are wonderful. Their 1 st language is not English. Most of them speak very good English. When we “hang out” with any of her family, which is quite often, they tend to speak their first language leaving me out completely.
My question is “is it rude of them to leave me out”? Or am I being too sensitive about it? I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t go anymore because I’m pretty sure they will end up NOT speaking English and I will be left to browsing on my phone while they have a good old time. I’m very fond of all of them but I definitely feel left out on these occasions.
Should I not expect them to speak English so as to include me? Are they being rude?

There are way too many birthdays this month. In May, the birthdays are: my mum’s, my sister-in-law’s, my mother-in-law’s, my sister, 2 of my friends (married to each other) and mine. I’ve also had a friend’s funeral this month so it’s been a lot.

It was our friend, Bee’s, 30th at the start of the month and they asked us (me and my husband) to help with food and decorations. We did, it was fun.

Then I went away for my friend’s funeral and our other friend (married to Bee) has been planning their birthday. We’re going to have a games night. They sent us a lot of messages about setting up for games night on the day of the funeral. I was busy helping with the funeral and all’s fine.

I let them all know (husband and friends) that for my birthday I just want to chill out with my husband. I’ve spent a lot of this month setting up for people’s birthdays, spending my time off doing trips for people’s birthdays, generally feeling v tired and overwhelmed.

On the weekend of my birthday, the friends are arranging a birthday party for their business. I learned today that they’ve asked my husband to take photos for it and he’s agreed to. No one in any of these plans has acknowledged that it’ll be my birthday and I might want a say in what my husband and I get up to.

I’m feeling really hurt and overwhelmed and as though a lot of my relationships here (we moved here a couple of years ago) are very one way. I’m kind of tempted to book a place to go away, just me, on the weekend of my birthday. At least I can look after myself.

I don’t think my reasons for feeling hurt are understood—is that because I have unreasonable expectations or something else? Is it even worth me feeling upset? How do I manage these relationships moving forward?

Am I too jealous/sensitive?

For context, we have been dating for a little over 6 months and live together. We’re friends for two years prior. I (19F) have been thru some pretty traumatic shit life & past relationships wise, and my boyfriend (21M) is so perfect. He’s so sweet to me, takes care of me since im chronically ill and can’t do much for myself (I pass out if standing/walking for too long). He’s financially responsible for me & takes care of my dog too. He’s, so amazing to me.

But im uncomfortable with him having female friends, or talking to any girl if it’s not necessary. We both play a lot of video games together, I told him im not comfy with him having female friends or talking to females unless its work related, friends gfs, family, medical, etc.

I unintentionally had a double standard and was friends with 3 guys though (I have a very hard time making female friends or friends in general I have severe anxiety. My bf can start a conversation with literally anybody). All online. One I befriended thinking it was a femboy, the other I thought was a girl bc of their username. I ended up getting stuck in friendships because of this factor. The last one was an old long-time friend I felt bad unadding because one year my family was very poor and he paid for our Christmas. He called this double standard out, i acknowledged it, and then blocked my friends. Any time he is uncomfortable with anybody (even the friends I knew since I was a kid) I blocked. Instantly. So I do this and he gets upset because he doesn’t want me to lose friends because I already don’t have any. And he said that basically, I need to deal with it because having friends of the other gender is normal. And while he has a point, just because he’s comfy with something doesn’t mean I am.

Im a very jealous person. I get jealous when he’s petting the dog instead of watching me play a horror game. And I acknowledge that. And I want to get better. But it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach. I physically am so sick and so close to throwing up any time I think about him holding a conversation with another girl. I don’t know how to fix this. I love him. I go to therapy because I want to be better for him I know I have issues because of my trauma but I can’t help but feel sick to my stomach when it comes to other girls.

I don’t want him talking to them, I don’t want him having female friends and I would happily sacrifice male friends and conversations too because I have him so I don’t need or crave it. He says he doesn’t care and then continues to fight for me to not be uncomfortable with it because that’s what is healthy in his eyes. But like. Why fight for it then ?

I know I can be a bit much- jealous, controlling, whatever. I don’t care. I probably am toxic but I don’t yell or degrade him or treat him like shit ever. Im just a sensitive cry baby and I can’t fucking help the way I feel I’ve tried but I can’t stop wanting to throw up and cry when I think of it. And anytime it’s brought up I have an anxiety attack.

We both agree porn is damaging and don’t watch it. But we also argued because I told him im not comfy with him watching certain movies if its basically porn with a story line or its focused mainly on tryna have sex with women. It makes me, once again, sick to my stomach.

I was playing outlast, if you don’t know, it’s a horror game about a psychiatric facility. I get scared easily so I was having him watch me play it today. There’s a Scene where you walk down a hall and behind a box there’s 2 people having sex while another deranged man watches. I ran away because, like I said, sick. The thought of him seeing that, makes me sick. He said “wait no go back” (basically made a joke about it) and im like.. why do you wanna watch that ? I don’t wanna see anybody having sex why do you? To me, it doesn’t matter if it’s a horror game or not I see it as borderline goreporn. Anything that shows nudity to me is pornographic material. And no, I don’t care if we are playing a game and there’s sex in it or a scene pops up in a movie (it would make me uncomfy and I wouldn’t want it to happen but i wouldn’t bring it up or get visibly upset) My issue is if you WANT to watch that or the entire media (game, movie, book, etc..) is based around sex. I didn’t bring up the outlast thing bothering me, because he said im always bothered by something and I don’t want him to feel that way.

Am I the issue? Am I bad gf? Do I not trust him ? Am I too insecure?

I can’t help but feel the way I do and I don’t know how to fix it and I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

My gf and me been together for 5 years and in long distance for the last year; I’ve never been controlling, never asked for her passwords or stopped her from having male friends, going out, or working with colleagues, but I’ve noticed a repeated pattern where certain people (sometimes men, sometimes women) start crossing boundaries early, I warn her calmly to distance herself, she continues engaging because she doesn’t want to be rude or thinks it’s harmless, and then eventually the person becomes creepy/disrespectful and she comes back to me upset wanting support—am I wrong for feeling emotionally exhausted and unheard after this keeps happening again and again? (Same pattern from first year of our relationship and it seems she is improving but still I'm exhausted with this situation.) ?

So yesterday was my Birthday and a bunch of people didn't wish me. It would be fine if they were just people I say hi to but some of them I have know for over 4 years so obviously it hurt, a lot. But the audacity was what was breathtaking for this certain person: I'm calling them Lily (Not their actual name). So I'm like still in school and we do this thing where we bring choclates on our birthday and Lily said, "Oh when are you bringing the chocolates, since your birthday is on a Saturday?" I said thursday and she said, "Oh I'm gonna be absent so save me one." Now that she didn't wish me, I'm not going to give her chocolate, even if she asks. Last to last year, she was in another country so I was trying to wish her in my timezone that would match in her time zone and litterally cried when i missed the timeslot because I thought she was going to be sleeping. Then last year I spent 7 HOURS making her birthday card and she just doesn't even wish me happy birthday one single time. So I'm pissed. Then there is this other person, calling her Emily. So for Emily's birthday I stayed up until 12 am to wish her and bought her stuff worth over 600 (my country's curreny) and she, she saw my status, saw that it was my birthday, and yet didn't wish me, didn't tell me anything in school. I'm just going to stop trying with our friendship. Am I being too sensitive?

My roommate and I were supposed to go out for breakfast tomorrow morning. That said, I woke up feeling sick this morning and told them as such. I haven’t done much today but rest; it’s been rough physically and mentally \[the nice weather doesn’t make it any better\].

Same friend and roommate, just asked me a while ago if I wanted to not only still do the breakfast outing, but go do another activity In conjunction that requires a lot of energy and movement \[to which I lack atm\]. I reminded them that I was sick and not feeling well. He hasn’t responded yet, but am I in the wrong for thinking they’re being inconsiderate for asking to do extra stuff on top of our original plans? Am I overreacting despite me telling them I was sick?

Like, I understand checking in about still going to breakfast but to add on activities as if he didn’t already know that I wasn’t feeling well is annoying but not a new phenomenon. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt that he’s been inconsiderate or has thought of only himself and what he wants. Idk, am I wrong here?

I recently got to top 4k in r6s and achieved a no hit run in Elden ring after lots of training. and when I told people they said those cringy repetitive jokes like go outside or touch grass and they also said things like cool I care so much about your games. It made me feel like what I had done was not a big achievement even though I’ve told them how much effort I put into it. And I ended up crashing out on some people and got in a yelling match about how since they’ve spent thousands of dollars and way more hours on sports just to get nothing that it’s the same and I ended up ending some friendships.
(I have a job and am not just basement dwelling)

I recently got my boyfriend his dream cat for his birthday. Me and my boyfriend were long distance and finally broke the distance and moved in together. He’s 19, I’m 21 — yeah, yeah, I know the age, but let’s move past that for right now. I’m about to air myself out, but I have Bipolar Disorder 1 as well as Borderline Personality Disorder, so please keep that in mind. In my relationships, when I felt scared, trapped, felt like I was gonna be left, or felt like the argument was too strong, I’ve resorted to ending things with them in the heat of the moment, which is terrible. I understand that now, and I’ve been trying to be better. By no means do my diagnoses excuse any of that behavior, but I do feel like they play a part. He has lost trust in me that I won’t leave him, which is completely fair, and he told me that he won’t try to trust me not to leave him unless I put the cat’s name in his name. I told him that was valid, but he’s upset at me because I can’t put him as primary on our vet stuff because you have to be 21 and older. He was kind of being very rude about it, which is out of my control. He also works and I don’t, so he’s not able to take the cat to every vet visit, which I am. So I feel like me being primary and him secondary, just for veterinarian stuff, shouldn’t be this big of an issue. I even told him I would get a pet license for him once the cat got his rabies shot, and that would show that he’s the owner. But he says that a pet license is nothing, which is very confusing because a pet license literally is legal proof that you are the owner. As we are talking about this, it just makes me feel really sad, which I don’t know if I’m allowed to feel, but it makes me a little sad that I have to put our animal completely in his name for him to trust me. Which may be my own doing, but it does hurt my feelings. I always think, if we do break up, what happens to the other cats that this cat has bonded to? Because my other cats have completely bonded with our new cat. He’s also told me a bunch of times that he feels unsure about the relationship and unsure that our wants are the same, when I’ve completely compromised everything for him. Like, when I wanted children and marriage, I completely compromised all of that for him, and I feel like I’m not heard. I’m sorry, this is really a yapping session, but any advice would really help. What would you do?

I’m pregnant and wondering if I’m being too sensitive or if my friend’s behavior was actually rude.

A few days ago, one of my friends said she wanted to come visit to celebrate my pregnancy. She lives about 2 hours away, and she asked if my friend and her husband could stay at our house for 2 days so I agreed. And they arrived around 7pm.

The morning, they slept until around noon. I didn’t expect them to sleep that late, so I had already made breakfast and waited for them for a while. Eventually I put the food in the fridge and told them to eat it when they woke up because I wanted to finish my chores and take a nap afterward (I’m dealing with pregnancy fatigue and nausea).

After that, my friend started helping herself to food, leftover and drinks in our fridge without asking. She even ate some frozen foods I had specifically stocked for my morning sickness.

Later that evening, she said her husband was hungry and asked me if I could cook something. So I suggested to go restaurant together but they wanted to eat at home. I was honestly irritated at that point, but I made early dinner for them.

The entire visit felt strange because despite saying they came to celebrate my pregnancy, they never actually celebrated it. We didn’t go anywhere together, they didn’t do anything thoughtful, and the two days mostly felt like I was hosting and taking care of them.

On the last day, my husband and I had work and left the house in the morning. My friend said they would leave before noon, but when I came home around 3 PM, they were still there and looked like they had just woken up. And asked cook again.
And now she asked if they could come stay again in a few weeks.
I know pregnancy hormones and exhaustion can make me more emotional, so maybe I’m overreacting. But honestly, the whole experience left me feeling used and stressed instead of supported.

Am I being too sensitive, or does this seem inconsiderate to other people too?

Okay hear me out.

When we get into arguments or any type of bickering

He ALWAYS comes back with this (I think) passive aggressive comment “when I think my life partner they do… they are like… they think… [INSERT WHATEVER]

LIKE WTF DO YOU MEAN think of your life partner?? Am I NOT your life partner?

What have I been doing with YOU these past three years?? We LIVE together. We have TWO cats. I’ve met your family. You’ve met mine.

He has made comments like I’m scared of marrying the wrong person and that’s apparently why he won’t propose and honestly I don’t believe him. I’m just hurt tbh because I just KNEW the moment I started dating him something was off but I stuck it out.

I met him when I was 22 and now I’m 26… so many years wasted.

She's a really good friend, but the one thing that makes me anxious around her, is she seems really high and mighty about her intelligence a lot. Like she talks about her IQ and how smart she is a lot.

I have health issues that cause brain fog and negativity impact my cognitive and memory to the point of struggling with common "easy" tasks.

One issue I was having with her is when she invites me to board game night, she always brings a game that has really complicated rules, and shuts me down if I suggest something easier. I've told her that this bothers me, and I wish she would either tell me what she wants to play ahead of time so I could try to learn the rules on my own time, or just play an easier game, because otherwise I just end of feeling like I have to make up an excuse to leave or try to play and spend several hours having everyone get angry at me and/or making fun of me for being slow.

Anyway, as of late, whenever we watch something together, sometimes she picks movies and tv shows that are a little bit hard to follow, like Cloud Atlas, Memento, stuff like that. I don't really mind it, but what's annoying me is she will pause it just to look at me and ask questions like "do you understand what's happening?" And "do think you know what will happen next?" Does anyone else find this weird?? Like first of all, I'm trying to actually WATCH it. If I was confused, I would say so. I don't want it to be paused all the time. It makes it take FOREVER to watch one movie.

But it feels really condescending, like would you do that for everyone?? Everything feels like homework because of it. I don't wanna watch something feeling tense because I know that I might have to stop to be questioned and judged about my understanding or thoughts on it. I've already asked her to stop doing this a few times.

Should I say something? I've already talked to her about similar behavior in the past. Is this behavior normal, or do you think it's condescending?

I have a friend I've known since childhood who is an animal lover. She has always had cats, and treats them like her babies. Today I sent her an email with a Happy Mother's Day picture of a woman and a cat. I was just being silly and thought it was cute, and I've always thought of people with pets as "pet parents".

This is the response I got from her:

"Its just a personal thing I know, but I have never been a fan of the "mom" part for animals... 

It may be silly, but it may have to do with (appearing as if) some people using it as a way to compensate or explain when they have no human children. I never felt any calling to have human kids, and dont need to have animals be the substitute, bc I dont regret not ending up with any!

Plus, they never say that about a guy being a "dad" to their pets either."

This just really hurt my feelings. I send similar things to friends on social media, and many of them also have human children. Same goes for men with pets. I haven't responded to her because I honestly don't even know what I would say. We don't live anywhere near each other, and only communicate through email.

Am I being too sensitive?

So I have a male friend and we’re strictly platonic friends. We had a falling out a couple years ago and then recently a few months ago he reached out to me about reconnecting and apolgized for the falling out. (Our falling out was because I had feelings for him and he just wanted something casual and not be committed).

Lately, he hasn’t been really keeping in contact with me. I brought it up and he apolgized and said he’ll do better but still he barely replies and doesn’t reach out, it’s always me reaching out.

When we would talk it’s always him roasting me and I felt really hurt recently cuz he said some stuff that really hurt my feelings. I said some hurtful things back to him. He apolgized and i apolgized. And he said he’ll do better to keep in contact but it’s been so long since he last reached out. I don’t know why but it’s been pissing me off lately and I’m building resentment towards him again. Do I let this friendship go? Am I being too sensitive?

He makes time for our other friends and always invites them out but never me. I always invite him to my hangouts with our friends and he always declines. What’s wrong with me?

Any insight would be helpful.

Today at work one of my coworkers overheard a conversation I was having with another coworker. We were talking about regretting something related to the topic we were discussing, and this coworker chimed in and told me I should “regret the day I was conceived.”

He said it jokingly, but it immediately rubbed me the wrong way.

I responded with something along the lines of, “Joking about someone’s existence is stupid, the fuck?” and then removed myself from the area because I was upset. I went outside for a bit, cried, walked around, and eventually came back in.

For context, I’m one of the leads at work, so I was trying very hard not to escalate the situation. When I came back, I calmly told him to go work in another part of the area because I genuinely didn’t want to be around him after that comment.

Another coworker noticed I was visibly upset and checked on me, and then my supervisor stepped in and sent me to speak with a workplace therapist/counselor. During that conversation I admitted I’ve been under a lot of stress lately involving separation/divorce, kids, finances, health issues, and legal matters, which probably contributed to how hard the comment hit me emotionally.

Now I’m wondering if I overreacted because I don’t think my coworker expected that level of fallout from what he probably viewed as dark humor.

At the same time, I feel like telling someone they should regret being conceived is a pretty awful thing to say at work, joke or not.

AITAH for reacting the way I did and indirectly getting management involved?

I know I would get labelled as the typical nagging “wife” for this kind of complaint. My husband tends to think very “bigly” of his friends which is ofc healthy and warranted but in front of them treats me more “smally” especially his female ones.

I know he doesn’t mean it badly, he doesn’t really do anything intentionally and I wish I knew why it irritates me so much.

I generally see guys walking with their wives/girlfriends even in groups. In a group, my husband will really never walk with me. He’s a bit of a social butterfly. It makes him happy to just be in the line of 3 and let me walk ahead alone or to look around and ask everyone where to eat but complete look away from where I am.

Honestly it wouldn’t even bother me if he just didn’t do it with his female friends. That itches me the wrong way. Mostly because I love to spoil the guy, he’s really my sweetheart and I love to let him choose where we eat, what activity we do, what we eat etc etc etc. But then here come his friends and now suddenly he’s willing to make all the accommodations in the world for them 😡

I have tried talking to him about it but all it’s done is make him walk with me regularly for 1 min o it of every 10 mins so that “I don’t create a fuss” lol.

This was really a very long end of day rant. I am quite exhausted. I don’t see this man changing tbh but he has several amazing qualities so I’m just going to have to find a way to rant about it and let it go.

I can’t thank you enough for giving me this much needed space to express how I feel.