u/Chemical-Video-6740

My girl talks to a close male friend of hers and I keep saying it's making me feel jealous and you should maintain some gap so she just gets mad at me. I mean isn't it pretty simple that no boyfriend would like it when their girlfriend talks of crying on someone else's shoulder. But now that 8 confronted her she got panic attacks and left me saying we need a break and I will return and make sure nothing changes. I don't think she will return tho but whtvr. Kinda missing her now...

On 29 march a common friend acted as a middleman to bring us together. I was always jealous of their friendship, they were too close, and knew everything about each other. They were often teased by online friends that they are a couple just because of the closeness on the discord server. We became mutual on 29, then built bonds, and every now and then I would tell her now you have a boyfriend don't be that close to a guy, and every time I would be shutted out by them as a guilty or pathetic boyfriend. Every week or two we got into this fight of jealousy. One day I got on discord and saw their chats. a 12 hour call record, till 5 am, they watched movies, studied together, laughed, she shared some moments of her late father etc. and I confronted her, I said it's not ok, I don't feel good you being this close to a guy, don't make him your life, maintain some distance. Late night calls, 12 hour records, late night romantic movies etc and nothing changed. I tried a lot to handle my jealousy as a boyfriend, but she didn't budge. So I left discord, hoping if I won't see them, I won't get triggered but we had a fight over it too. Why I left, join back, don't do this, stop this nonsense. And I told her the reason and went away with it. Hoping she would understand my jealousy and how deeply hurt I am and stop doing it on her own. But she didn't. Yesterday I joined the discord server back and found their chats. The same thing again. She asked for a new record this time. Something more than 12 hours. And the guy mocked me by saying records are a trauma for you. Because I confronted her about it earlier. Made fun of me and another chat read- I can always cry and vibe with you. My supporting shoulder. I am feeling deeply hurt at this point. Friendships are ok, she has other male friends that don't give me sleepless nights, but no matter how much I feel at chaos, how much we fight, get detached, I always get back to her out of love but she never changes a bit. I can't let her go, she means the world to me. But staying with this is also becoming a burden. I don't want sympathy, I need real advice and suggestions please someone grown up out there. I am just 19, first relationship that too online. I am really messed up