My brother (30M) says the way I (23F) speak at home is childish and weird. It's starting to make me self-conscious, any advice?
I'm 23F and my older brother (30M) has now told me off a 3rd time for the way I speak at home. He says I speak too childishly, that I need to "grow up and speak like an adult", and today he said I "talk like a spacker."
The thing is, I don't speak like this in public or with strangers. It's mainly something I do around my family because I'm comfortable with them. Sometimes I'll randomly pronounce something in a silly way, switch into a Valley Girl-type accent for a sentence, or my voice will go higher when I'm excited.
For example, today I'd barely spoken for most of the day. My dad brought home pizza and I got excited and happily said "pizza!" in a high-pitched voice. My brother immediately criticised the way I said it and told me I need to speak like an adult.
I also sometimes make little noises without really thinking about it. If I drop something, for example, I might automatically go "weh" or "nyeh." I honestly didn't even think about the fact that I did this until my brother started pointing it out. They're not noises I deliberately put on to irritate people — they just come out sometimes when I'm relaxed at home.
When I tried defending myself and saying that's just how I talk when I'm comfortable, he got annoyed and started swearing at me. He has quite a temper, so arguing back with him tends to escalate things. My dad was there but didn't say anything, which I think is partly because he doesn't want to set my brother off.
What bothers me is that my brother frames this as me needing to "act like an adult." I don't think being playful with my voice at home means I'm incapable of behaving appropriately when I need to. I'm perfectly capable of speaking normally/professionally with strangers and in serious situations.
It also feels a bit hypocritical because he's very particular about what behaviour of mine counts as "adult", while there are plenty of normal adult responsibilities he doesn't do himself, like cooking, laundry or washing his own dishes. But I'm aware that might be separate from whether his criticism of my speech is actually fair.
His comments have started making me self-conscious because these are things I previously did without even noticing.
Also, for context, I have ADHD and I’m medicated for it. I’m not sure whether the random noises/changes in tone are related to that or just part of how I naturally act when I’m comfortable, but I thought it might be relevant. Just wanted to vent so I might delete this post later, but thanks to whoever reads this