My friend canceled on my 21st birthday and lied about why to be with his new girlfriend and friend from work
My 21st birthday was end of last month. I invited my two bros I regularly hang out with, I’ll call them James and Michael. They both said yes to coming the day before my birthday to be there right when I turn 21. James said he’d be there at 5pm and Michael said he’d be there around 12am as he had work. James showed up at 5, I check up on Michael around 8pm.
“My parents are having a late night dinner that they want me to come to 🥲”
“Damn, aight”
I understand shit happens. The day after I check his life360 location, I was curious what he was up to(maybe a little curious paranoia).
gets off work—>goes to his place for 20min—>drives up to his girls place for 20 minutes (they work at the same place, I just assumed he was dropping her off)—>goes to address Im unfamiliar with for 2 1/2 hours —> gets back to his place at almost 5am
Weird, just made a mental note to ask him what that address is in passing, otherwise this would bother me. Well, he’s there now, so I asked him. Turns out it’s his buddy’s place from work, Sean.
I plainly lay out the timeline and ask him if he lied to me, because nothing made sense.
He tried to double down, saying he did have dinner and Sean’s dad wanted to buy his dad’s 2nd business, but atp nothing made sense timeline wise, so I pushed, and he confessed.
“Ah fuck it I’m bullshitting. I didn’t actually have dinner. Sam (his gf) wanted to go and I chose wrong”
Ouch. Ive known him for 4 years almost. Id never do that to him. He keeps apologizing for lying. But it’s just cause I caught him.
“This was the only time Ive lied to you”
“I know I should have prioritized you and I didn’t. I just wanted to be selfish in the moment and that wasn’t and not fair to you…I want to fix things and I want to be able to go back and yell at myself for the choice I made. If you need time then I’ll give it. I really am sorry. I really hope you can forgive me….I love you man”
Trust is easy to lose and hard to gain. And he’s asking for forgives minutes after confessing. It hurts so much. He’s a great friend, and we support each other, never had a problem with him. We’ve always communicated. So many good times. But man, I feel betrayed, replaced, and my trust is shattered.
His 21st birthday is in august. I have a friend visiting from Canada in august. An ugly part of me wants to cancel on the day and be with her. But I cant do that to him. I think I’ll just tell him if his birthday happens to be on the day she and I can meet, then I just wont make time for him.
Sorry for the length. Don’t know what to do.
Appreciate any advice.