Hello I’m not sure if this is the right place but I’m trying to gather evidence for a DV case. I have some audio recordings of my husband talking to his brother after he hit me but since he was speaking Akateko I can’t understand what he’s saying. Is there anyone here that could possibly help me?
Yesterday my dad texted my husband that he needs to pick our daughter up. The judge already put into effect our temporary parenting schedule. This is what my husband said:
You all should have thought before calling the police and involving yourselves when you don’t know what’s going on. I have talked to you about this, and what did you do, nothing. They prohibited me from going there, I don’t want anymore problems. It’s better that everyone goes their own ways. I don’t want things to get worse than they already are, I don’t want to lose my daughter for the stupidity of your daughter. Make her close the case and we’ll see what they tell me. I don’t know who called the police but they need to be in charge of cleaning the mess they provoked. You guys are always putting my daughter in between. My daughter has gone through a lot already with the stuff between me and your daughter. And to be arrested in front of her. You are all sick in the head.
Some pointers:
•Even after sending the approved temporary parenting plan, he still did not come to take care of our daughter. So I’m confused on why he says we’re putting her in the middle when he can’t even bother to come see her
•He has talked to my dad but he lied and said that since I’m pale, that’s why my skin marks easily. You don’t get bruises from light touches. Pulling my hair, grabbing my neck, kicking my rib, none of that is just “moving me out of the way” like he told my dad. Then he tried saying I’m the one abusing him when I never hit him. I’ve only defended myself by pushing him away if I have to.
•Telling me to drop the charges. That’s HILARIOUS. I’m not the one charging him, it’s the state. And no I will not drop it. Especially seeing how he’s making it harder for me by not doing his part as a father.
•Saying we involved our daughter. No, she said she heard him hitting me. She was crying. She hears how he treated me. I did have her turn away when he was arrested. I obviously did not want her seeing that. She asked several times who was getting arrested and I told her I don’t know. I have always tried to protect my daughter from hearing or seeing the abuse, but that night she heard everything.
•Saying he doesn’t want to lose our daughter. Again funny considering he is not following the parenting order that’s in place. He’s also threatened to abandon us several times.
I find it funny how he still is trying to act like the victim. And that is why I will not be dropping anything. Matter of fact the police want to meet with me to give them evidence of prior abuse. Which I have several. He should of listened all of these years, where I begged and cried and asked him to just get help, and stop abusing me. I told him we could separate and I tried my best to avoid this from happening. That’s why I took years to finally have the courage to report him.
So at my husbands arraignment they ordered him to not have contact with me even through third party, he can’t come near my apartment and has to stay 150 ft away from me. I filed a restraining order the next day and included a parenting plan. The judge approved of it and said its effect as of today. The issue is, he hasn’t been served so he has no idea of this. He’s staying with his brother and I don’t know the brothers unit. I told that to the sheriff but they said they found it but then later wanted me to confirm and how am I supposed to confirm if I don’t know it. Anyways, I spoke to the DA advocate and the prosecutor on this case and asked them what I can do since the no contact order is in place. I wanted to do a modification where he’s only allowed to have contact with me when it’s about pickup or drop off. But the prosecutor was hesitant which is understandable. So they suggested that I contact his brother and ask him to do the pick up and drop offs. So I did. His brother made it seem like he would do it. I also tried asking him for his address but he ignored me. That conversation happened yesterday. Today I sent him a message telling him what time to pick her up and drop her off and then he told me that he can’t do that. That the judge hasn’t told us what days we’re going to be watching her. Again they don’t know that the judge approved and already put into effect our temporary parenting plan bc they haven’t served him. And they can’t until we find his unit which they won’t give me
My husband was arrested last night for hitting me. I went to his arraignment today and they made a statement on my behalf asking for no contact until we have a custody arrangement, he can’t come 150 feet near me and he is not allowed to come to the apartment. While they told him this he then lied and said “I don’t want to be around her. I was with my cousins and she kept texting me. (I did text him several times bc he didn’t tell me he was going to be out and I asked him to get us something. I even asked him to come and watch our daughter so I can take the bus and get it myself but he ignored my calls and texts). He then proceeded to lie and say I hit him with a telescope and he can show them.
Here’s what actually happened:
When he got home I told him it’s not fair how I’m controlled. I get hit, followed, threatened and several messages when I’m out with my sister or friends. But he can leave without even letting me know. I’ll be in the shower after coming home from work and he’s gone. And doesn’t come back until hours later. Then since I asked him hours prior to get that thing, and he said he would get it later, I told him can you get it now bc it’s late. He told me go get it yourself. And I told him I asked you to come watch her so I could but you ignored me, it was 10pm so too late to take the bus, the store would be closed by then. Anyways he got mad and grabbed my arms aggressively, he smacked me several times, put both hands around my neck, when I got on the floor he kicked me a few times. He then kept smacking me while I was trying to get up on the bed. I managed to kick him to get him to back off. But then he smacked me again. I was on the floor. I was afraid he would kill me since he wasn’t stopping. I reached for whatever was near me which is my daughter’s telescope. But when he saw me reach for it he tried grabbing it out my hand and I know he wanted to use it to beat me, so I pulled it away and hid it under her bed. I never once hit him with it. He had no injuries. Aside from my kicking him. So when he made these false claims I’m extremely confused on what marks he plans on showing because they are not from me. And I’m worried they’ll take what he says serious
Also the court ordered never said my husband could retrieve his things. My WiFi router detects motion and all day yesterday and overnight up until this morning there was motion. I’m currently staying at my parents for a few nights. I tried to get my dad to go check but he took a little long and whoever was there was gone by the time my dad arrived. My husbands things were removed. Whoever is was stayed the night there. My husbands brother has his own place so he has no reason to be staying there. My thing is since I don’t have any witnesses or camera, I’m unable to prove it was my husband or not.
My husband has been abusive for the past 5 years. We’ve been together for 9. I’ve called my family and told them what he does. I’ve been too scared to call the cops because I didn’t want to feel like I’m ruining my daughter’s life by taking her father away. So even though he’s still being hitting me, I haven’t called. Tonight we argued and he grabbed my neck with both hands, and hit me. He told me “he’s fucking tired of me” (you can read my other post to see why he’s tired. According to him I’m not following his rules). When the cops came they asked me questions. I had red marks all over but by the time they came, they faded. I took a picture before they came. I’ve had worse marks before but like I said I never called the cops. I feel like they don’t believe me. Or like they didn’t think it was that serious. They did arrest him and told me to press charges but when they were trying to take pictures, there wasn’t much showing. My daughter was in another room and she did say she could hear him hitting me. I have videos, pictures and texts from other times he’s hit me, that I can use in court. But again I’m just worried that this isn’t enough. That they’ll let him go and nothing will happen
Edit: has anyone gone though court for abuse? What does the process look like? I’m just worried that they’ll drop the case.
Before anyone says it I’m already planning to leave, I’m working to save up*
I had plans to go to Seattle for a concert with my sister. My mom was originally going to watch my daughter but she backed out so two weeks ago I told my husband he’s going to watch her. My husband is abusive physically, and emotionally. He does not want me to have any life outside of him. He tried blocking my friends and deleting my social media once. He’s followed me when I went out to eat with friends. He read my personal journal. Anytime I go out (which is rare bc I homeschool my daughter so I’m always with her) he will text me threats, threatening to kick me out and that I cannot come back home bc I went out. He’s hit me several times before and I have not called the cops because he is trying to fix his papers and I just did not want him to get deported. (Trying to think about how that would affect my daughter) anyways, I’d have a whole book to write about all the things he’s done but the point is, he does not want me to do anything. This morning I’m supposed to leave. He went to work and I told him he has to be back by 11 because that’s when I have to take the train to Seattle. He said he’ll see what he does. I know that means he’s going to purposely not come just so that I can’t go. I told him just be here please. He said if I leave he’s going to call CPS on me and say I abandoned my daughter & that I always do that when he gets out of work. That’s not true at all. Like I said, I’m always at home, homeschooling my daughter, taking her on field trips or working. He’s the one that leaves without saying anything, threatens to abandon us and tells me to “figure it out” in regard to how I’ll be able to financially support our daughter on my own. I doubt CPS would do anything because again my daughter knows what’s true. She’s seen how my husband talks to me. But I know that he will now use this to his advantage and use our daughter as a way to force me to not do anything anymore. This is really frustrating because I’ve always tried my best to not make things bigger but he clearly doesn’t think the same. I’ve helped him when he was diagnosed with epilepsy, helped him when he was in court fighting against a felony charge for a car crash, I’m the one that handles everything, I also helped him with his immigration process. All that for him to try and ruin my life. It’s not surprising but it doesn’t take away the fact that I feel completely betrayed.
What would actually happen if he calls CPS?
Hi everyone, I’m a licensed esthetician in Oregon and I’m looking to learn lash lifts (including Korean-style techniques) and brow lamination/tinting
I don’t currently offer these services and don’t have hands-on experience yet, but I want to build my skills the right way
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For those of you who offer these services:
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I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences, thank you!