I (32F) feel like my husband (34M) and I have fallen out of romantic love.
I (32F) am a first time mom, and I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is a normal part of new parenthood, or a turning point in my relationship with my husband (34M). For a long time now, I haven’t felt like there was a lot of romantic love in my marriage. Now, I love my husband very much and I know that he loves me. But it feels more “we make a good team” and less “I’m in love with you”.
He is a great dad and we like to spend time with each other. We communicate relatively well, but when we discuss this issue the result is always just I’ll try harder. I don’t know if I want that though. I don’t want him to be working at our relationship for just my sake.
I know it’s not unusual to have a roommate phase after kids, but if I’m honest with myself this started before kids. I don’t think there is anyone else or anything like that, I think romantic love is just not a need for my husband. I don’t know if he doesn’t realize that, or I’m totally wrong and he genuinely does want to try harder to get the romantic love back.
Part of me thinks it could be enough for me to just be partners in life without a romantic component. I love our life outside of this issue, and I might be able to forego romance if it’s not what my husband needs.
Has anyone dealt with this and have any advice how to approach the conversation further? If the romantic part of our relationship isn’t something we can get back, I’d rather know so I can deal with that rather than hold out hope for something that may never happen.