Sperm donor reaches out again
My sperm donor/“dad” has been emailing fairly consistently since I left the house, mostly because I blocked him everywhere else. The only reason I haven’t sent all his emails directly to spam is because he can’t see if I’ve seen them or not, and sometimes it’s nice to know that he has no power over me anymore.
I wanted to share this here because now that it’s been a few hours I’ve felt secure enough to look at it, it still was deeply triggering just seeing his name show up on my phone. Im not going to respond, I never do, but he still doesn’t stop.
I think a part of me would like some validation that I tried to talk countless times before. I hate the way he writes, like he’s actually concerned for my well-being after hurting me for so long. It fucks with my head a bit, like “oh maybe I should try responding back and explaining again” but I really don’t want too.
It feels too fresh, it’s only been a few months since I left and the reason I skipped walking at highschool graduation was exactly because I knew he might try and corner me there. He just confirms it in this which sucks.
Context: he and my mom have been using a few of my siblings as flying monkeys to try and get me to see them, one of my brothers was begging me to meet with mom and dad for “only 10 minutes” last week and I had to explain to him why I couldn’t (he didn’t talk to me after that)
Idk it just feels lonely, like if I were to show this email to anyone else they wouldn’t understand how upsetting it is. lol Ig im just hoping some people on here will relate/have some insight
((Also, I have a safe place to stay at a friends house, and even if I had to leave I wouldn’t go to any of the contacts he listed in the email because they are relatives and there are youth shelters near me so it just feels weird))
Thank you for listening to this rant
