Breastfeeding nightmare & Baby Blues
Hi Fam,
I’ve never posted before but have drawn so much encouragement and inspiration from this community. Hoping for your help now.
I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy on May 15, conceived via IUI back in August. I was 38 at time of insemination and I’m 39 now.
I had a somewhat emergency but scheduled c-section that was super stressful due to waiting for test results to make sure the baby was healthy for reasons I won’t go into here, because I’m ashamed as it had to do with something in my system. The waiting was torture and triggered so much anxiety and stress. Despite this, my colostrum came in, followed by my milk the next week.
I was breastfeeding thinking all was fine, and as it turned out I didn’t have enough volume, he lost too much weight and developed jaundice. We ended up in ER then admitted to hospital for treatment. I was told by lactation consultants to pump at least 8 times a day and triple feed each feed (breast each side, then bottle feed, then pump for 20). I have found this impossible. I have never been able to pump 8 times a day. I’m heartbroken at having to supplement with formula and bottles as I didn’t expect to have to do either. The pressure to breastfeed is insane- every appointment every nurse and doctor asks if I’m breastfeeding. My nipples are destroyed and I just feel inadequate, plus the raging hormonal ups and downs feeling like maybe I made a mistake and what was I thinking doing this on my own…do I just give up on breastfeeding? I feel like my mental health is in the toilet. I’m not without support from family, but I also know my mom can’t stay here forever and she is in her 70s.