What a trash existence
I'm sexualized to the point I can see the urge to rape in men's eyes. Women are somehow even worse, they don't even think about it, just touch me, esp when drunk.
The other day I got attacked on the street. He gave up when he realized I'm way more ghetto.
Secretly recorded (not so secret, I saw the phone obviously, but it was hidden from everyone else in the pervert's jacket)... and yeah don't even question it, no doubt about it, he turned the phone as I moved.
I can constantly hear people talking about me when I'm in the public (is it a man? is it a woman? what the ... is that?). Neighbors talking about me in the building hallway (F word, my name, disgusting, etc).
Rejected by my whole ex squad (all cis men).
Used and either friendzoned or rejected by dates from dating apps. Others antagonize the sh out of me. Partners abused me in ways I can't even describe without writing a prolonged essay. Non binary partners.
That is, when I get matches and they respond. Those are really sparse. Honestly it's surprising, I think I look more than fine.
I've cultivated self love to the point an average person could never imagine let alone understand. I see no other way to survive.
Not to mention being completely unemployable due to looking GNC and being a ghetto autistic person.
What the. What to do?
I'm beyond mad, sad, angry, whatever. None of this should be happening. I deserved none of it. Literally being treated worse than a trashcan. I could appreciate someone I can talk to and no I'm not going to a therapist. I need a friend.