My 10yr old is incredibly angry at school
Hello all
I am from the UK, my son is 10, august born, he is in middle school (yr5-8) and in a hub so a school within a school type affair with 8 other children of varying needs. He attends some lessons in the main school and some in the hub.
He despises school, he finds it boring (his word) and he struggles with the loudness, the other children, the teachers. The school itself is ok, they try but he is 1 of 8 in the hub and 30 in the class. The teachers are from my perspective trying to be very supportive and very accommodating to him and the others. The communication is good typically and what he says usually matches what the teachers say.
He is in year 6 so the focus is on English and Maths with a few other lessons including plenty of EHCP target time.
Got called into school today, he made little stick drawings of himself shooting his teacher and in the meeting was very angry still. Last week, Wednesday, was saying some horrific things to his TA (Teaching assistant that is 1:1 or at most 1:2 with him) he says this is from his imagination. Last week on Friday he also ran away from his teacher at the end of the day in furious tears because he was corrected about calling a teacher 'bruh'
His TA in his words destroyed a lego model that he spent a week working on, because it was the end of the week and because other children need to use the she didn't ask, he didn't consent it would have been ok if the other kids had done it because they would use it. He says she has ruined his life at school and that he holds a grudge against her (she supports him every Monday and Tuesday which makes going in on those days fun)
Today, he was disruptive in lessons he was expressing loudly his refusal to do a single question in maths. So got asked then told to go to the hub for his work space. I completely understand the need to allow the other children to learn. Instead of going to his safe space. He chose to find a big stick and hit the ground, leaves and the building with it.
We are on a waiting list for play therapy and local camhs support to explore options.
He has ADHD, ASC and ARFID some sensory processing challenges, language challenges and sleep challenges.
I don't know what me and his dad should do to support him best. He plays minecraft, chess, pokemon most often. His devices are very restricted and logged using Qustudio he does love bbc bitesize and horrible histories (which we talk about together) his favourite programme is Izzy's Koala world.
Away from school, the challenges tend to be about school, sunday nights that kind of thing. He is in a solid routine of food and day to day stuff. He is a boy that pretended he didn't have a dog when his friends dog passed just to make sure he didn't feel bad (we talked about that) a boy that was in flood of tears because a classmate didn't have parents who tell her they are proud of her. His devices are in the living room (PC and amazon fire kids tablet) and I watch his screen regularly so I feel confident at what he is accessing. No roblox, no youtube.
I feel I must be doing something wrong, that he is having these thoughts and expressing them so intensely that I must have missed something that means he is more exposed to this kind of thing than I thought.
Please may I have any thoughts, ideas or suggestions, no matter how common sense they might feel because I might have missed something I could be trying. For me consequences are preferred not punishment i.e. he drew on a desk so he had to help wash it off is an example for how I tend to be.