r/Autism_Parenting

I’m in the middle of work & this just hit me: how has/did losing baby teeth go for you guys? Do they freak out? Play with the tooth until it comes out? Swallow all of them out of curiosity?

Level 3 nonverbal 4.5 year old.

Only injury we’ve ever dealt with is a goose egg on the head from a fall (aka don’t know how kiddo will do with blood). Comes to us when he’s in pain/sick, so that’s a comfort for if it’s bothering him. Let’s us brush his teeth & he helps with that, but we haven’t gone to the dentist yet (his MD does flourish treatments).

My 7 year old son struggles to focus / keep a social conversation going because he cannot stop repeating things which are off topic.

For example:
- Do you like ketchup?
- Is [insert word here] a bad word?
- Do you know “6 7”?
- Do you like protein?
- Have you ever watched Mary Poppins?

It won’t be relevant to the conversation at all, but he will bring up these random questions and repeat them many times.

Does anyone have any techniques to help minimize this or specific therapies which can help with this?

Has anyone experienced this from their child and it got better? Have they been able to have “normal” conversations?

I feel it’s partially the autism and partially the ADHD (he is not on any medication)

Any help would be appreciated!

Good morning everyone, I was looking for advice or suggestions or comfort..

Firstly I’d like to say I love my son and I wouldn’t do anything to put him in danger, but I never expected to be a mom to an autistic 3 year old boy. He’s turning 4 in a few months, his dad left us when he was born so it’s been me all alone. I know other people have it worse and I shouldn’t complain and I’m sorry but this is how I feel at the moment. Before my son I was so ambitious, I worked 3 jobs, had nice cars and enjoyed my life, but after he was born I never thought It’d change so much. I knew since he was small he was autistic and he was delayed in the speech by a lot. He still isn’t full verbal but speaks some words. I’ve been getting him ABA therapy, occupational, speech, all of it but some he turned 3 he aged out and I had to re evaluate him and start overs and for some reason they never reached out after his re evaluation. The coordinator seemed very nice and from what I recall she said it took up to even 6 months or more because they’re very busy. Idk where or what to do.
I can’t even work because normal daycares are afraid to take him, I live with my parents, they’re always complaining because he breaks something new every time he gets upset. I tried everything! I tried comforting him, hugging, squeezing, or leaving him alone if he prefers that, or telling him it’s okay to be upset and I’m there for him but nothing ever works. I have to turn to spanking.
He has broken a window, which wasn’t my fault because my sister was instigating him and laughing, and my parents included too, love to instigate him and as soon as he gets mad they leave him to me. He breaks pottery, he throws things and I cannot control him! This morning he woke up at 6am, fine it’s fine. Then my parents were leaving to go do a few things and they know he gets upset when he sees people leave in their cars because he loves to get inside them. Usually I tell him it’s mail time and I drive him myself in my own car, but I can’t do this every single fucking time someone leaves. My dad is a dumb drunk that I hate, always using slurs in front of him and he dgaf he sees my son crying trying to walk to his car and me holding him back and he still stays his sweet time for 5 minutes to “warm up” his car and then he leaves. I got so upset and mad and my son started breaking pots and decorative things they have outside and it’s more than fear I have because my mom always tells me something and says I will pay for it and she says something smart and compares him to my older sisters daughter who is calm and not autistic.
I started yelling at him an spanking him and told him to clean up the mess and the neighbors heard and I saw someone walk by (we live in the mountains so we all have acres) but I still saw them walking around the fence and they’re nice people we are cordial, they text me and I text them to check up on each other. Sometimes I just hope that they would call cps on me because I’m sick of this kid! I know they won’t though which is good. But I can’t do it! Respite care was mentioned by my coordinator but never any information. Everyone I have tried to reach out to says I’m too isolated and far. No one is willing to come and drive an hour or more up into the mountains. I wish I never became a mom. I wonder why I got cursed sometimes. I don’t have the patience. I don’t have the home. The ability to finish school or work like before. Social security didn’t even approve me, they denied me and I tried to request for an appeal.
I think the toxic household makes it worse for me to have more patience as I’m running off fear of them getting upset at me and me not being able to enjoy things other parents can do. Even a simple picnic day and I can’t do that because all he wants to do is run to the street and he cries so we leave.
Idk what to do and I feel I’m depleted in energy.

This may be a long post but I’ll try to keep it short. I’m just overwhelmed by life and the medical system with my son.

To start he was 5 weeks premature, spent some time in the NICU, and upon discharge we got the whole higher risk for any number of developmental diagnosis but we were just excited to have our first child together so we were SURE he’d be “normal”. Then delays started happening immediately, then medical issues. Now it’s been 4 years of specialists all over the state and “idk” and “get a better support system” from doctors EVERYWHERE.

My son didn’t talk until 3, not even mama or dada, mumbles and flapping his hands if he wanted or needed something. Well he’s been on a wait list since 2 for this. He’s almost 5 and we’re beginning speech NEXT WEEK. Now that he can talk in his own way, years of no support. Looking up tips and medical documents to try to help our child ourselves because nobody else did.

He has extreme sensory issues that completely dictate our life, his play therapist strongly feels he’s ASD level 2 and urges us to keep trying to seek a diagnosis (we travel 3.5 hours to a larger hospital to see a geneticist, a neurologist, a urologist, and feeding therapy all of whom want us to see a diagnostic specialist that has another 2 years on a wait list for us that he’s been on since age 2)

He’s so quick to frustration and anger and he will pull his hair (which we shave because he hates it touching his ears, he hates the water touching his head in the bath, hates brushing it), his siblings, mine. He’s always kicking and screaming at the slightest inconvenience. He’s broke 4 TVs throwing random items when upset. He hates loud noises but shouts for hours on end because he likes the sound.

He has ARFID and we’re trying feeding therapy because this kid lives off of quesadillas and juice, very specific oat bars, and cheese puffs. He relies on meal replacement supplements and a vitamin routine to stay healthy. And any water? You’re not touching him with it, he gets a sip of water from a fresh water bottle then it’s ‘no good’ and he can’t touch it again. We’ve had to get IV fluids for him at times as he’ll dehydrate himself without the acceptable juice in a cup.

I feel so bad because I feel like every sign is there to diagnose but the psychologist at the feeding clinic wouldn’t diagnose because he made EYE CONTACT. Eye contact. I understand that’s a big thing but it was ten seconds total of the entire hour long meeting where my son was in a corner growling and lining up small objects to the largest size and only talking about robots when he did speak.

He saw the neurologist for facial and vocal tics and extreme stereotypy behaviors. (Who supposedly could’ve diagnosed as well according to play therapy?) he RAN AWAY and I had to get my husband to come up to help with my 1 yo daughter in tow. Nurses, doctors, staff and mom and dad chased him down the hall until we could finish the appointment. To which they sent us to genetics because they want to check for genetic disorders.

He doesn’t play with toys, he’s obsessed with sensory play (which we engage with heavily in the home), we struggle to take him anywhere. Like yesterday at the grocery store when he was screaming he wanted to sit in the car (it 85° out) or sit at home because he “just is a home kid” we carry him everywhere, and he’s 4’ tall already because he hates walking and will start throwing himself into a wall. He doesn’t SLEEP. He’s a sleepwalker who just has days he’ll go and go and go. Im lucky enough to stay home with our kids, but I end up so physically exhausted I feel like I can’t keep up with my house, I can’t give all of our kids a good life and I end up so sick I can barely get out of bed. My husbands on his last leg at work because he has to constantly call out for appointments, or for me because I can’t get out of bed. We don’t have anyone to help with our son. Our girls get days with nana during appointments but I understand why my family and my husband’s really struggles with my son.

My family tells me constantly ‘he’ll grow out of it’, and “it’s how we parent him that the issue lies in”. My husband’s family is genuinely concerned as we are because they see how much he struggles with the mundane despite our best efforts.

He’s supposed to begin school in the fall, at a specialty school for children like him just sort of in between any diagnosis but unable to get the support needed in a standard classroom (and we’ve had an awful time getting him to even begin any therapies because the school just doesn’t know what to do! They have been awful and I’ve had to literally jump through hoops with the pediatricians office to try to get them to fulfill their end of helping him get care).

I feel a sense of relief almost that he’ll be somewhere others can watch him and catch these behaviors and maybe try to help. But it’s 40 minutes from me and we get no transportation assistance from the school. And it’s a full 8 hour day for him, and they don’t do naps. They don’t do special diets so we’ll supply all his food. And my biggest fear is this will do the opposite of help. My husband and I have been talking a lot about both going part time and just accepting having a smaller income because our life is becoming unsustainable in this way. And with no answers or diagnosis, we get no assistance in any serious capacity for long term help. Or even short term. I feel like I’ve lost a battle I can’t stop fighting.

Hello everybody, I’m just looking for any advice/experiences please. I had a meeting with my daughter’s nursery today, she’s 2.5 years old and has only been going there since mid April for 2 mornings per week (10 hours in total). She’s also missed at least 4 weeks due to illness.

She’s an only child and hasn’t really been around other children at all as I don’t know anyone with young kids. This was my main reason for putting her in nursery. I used to take her to baby groups but they weren’t the type of ones which encourage interaction between the children, it was usually just sitting in a semi circle and singing etc. She’s around adults on a very regular basis so feels comfortable around them.

In the meeting, they told me that she:

1. Doesn’t talk to the workers in context, like she won’t always reply to them when they ask her questions.

2. She doesn’t have back and forth conversations with them which apparently the other children do.

3. They said she stims a bit. She doesn’t do this at home.

4. She’s very picky with her food. She’s picky with vegetables at home but I’ve honestly not made enough effort to try and improve her eating habits, it’s more of a just get anything into her sort of thing.

5. She won’t go near the other kids at all and doesn’t like it when they come over to her, she apparently spends her time there staying close to the adults. She’ll apparently back away and sometimes get upset if a lot of them are around her. She’s in a mixed group of up to age 4 though so at 2.5, I thought maybe she just feels intimidated? I’m nearly 40 and still get nervous in new and busy social situations and I don’t have autism.

I’ve looked into what her speech should be at her age and honestly I thought she was on track, she’s very chatty at home, she understands my questions and answers them and knows well over 200 words. She asks for things she wants like her toys or a specific food. She tells me ‘go to sleep’ when she’s tired, she also sings a lot at home which they say she doesn’t do there. And according to google, it’s normal for her not to be having full on back and forth conversations at her age. She was also late with walking, she was 1 year and 7 months before she let go of the sofa. But she’s met most of her other milestones on time. She doesn’t have anything that I would describe as meltdowns, she’s generally well behaved. She does have a tendency to keep saying “it’s ok it’s ok it’s ok” if she’s upset but she’s never been much of a crier and any ‘terrible two’s’ moments only last for a matter of 30 seconds or so before she forgets about it.

She seems to behave differently at nursery than at home which is expected but I guess I’m just asking if anyone would consider her behaviours an early sign of autism?

Thanks for reading and for any responses.

Hello, my son is currently 13, and has autism (asperger's). I have just discovered that he has been using 4chan since he was 10. He has frequented (and posted) once on "/b/" and the rest are spread upon "/mlp/", "/ck/", "/a/", and "/c/". I do not know how to approach this situation and he doesn't know that I know he uses 4chan.

I thought it would be beneficial to parents who are looking into doing additional testing.

For background, my son started regressing around 18 months and was officially diagnosed at 2 years old. Since then, he has been enrolled in speech therapy and in-home ABA. He also gets support from a local program.

We started him on Leucovorin, under the guidance of our doctor and saw some results. I saw some improvement in focus and eye contact but my wife did not.

We got a blood test done and saw that his serum iron levels were on the low end but his ferritin (iron storage) was dangerously low. He also had a 2.3:1 copper to zinc ratio. His copper was at the very high end.

Under the guidance of his ND and MD, we started an iron and zinc supplement - this helped so much. Friends, family, therapists and even neighbours saw a huge improvement in his eye contact, focus, responding to his name and staying in one spot to do puzzles, colour etc. He started to say words and mimic but wouldn’t always initiate.

We got an OAT test done with our ND with the following results:

Arabinose (#7) HIGH
|3-Oxoglutaric. HIGH
|Oxalic (#21) HIGH
|Succinic (#24) HIGH
|Glutaric (#53) HIGH
|Pyridoxic (#51) ZERO

Everything else was in range. From my understanding, it seems like a moderate yeast overgrowth in his gut and a deficiency in B2 and B6. Those deficiencies are resulting in less mitochondrial energy to help with his speech and other things. First step would be to eliminate the yeast issue.

For added context, he eats really well, not picky, sleeps good. His main concern for us is speech and initiation.

We have a follow up to review his OAT results and revise the game plan with his ND next week.

I wanted to just share with the community, his journey and current status incase anyone else has gone through something similar or wants to see what testing is available.

He will always be autistic and we would never change that. This is to work on his skill building so he can be successful and properly receive the support he gets.

How do you guys deal with no one wanting to play with your child because he’s different?

for context we have lived with his cousins for about three years and he has a younger brother. But they plain down ignore him and not his brother.

I just watched him call them for like 5 minutes straight and no one responded and one finally did and shook their head no.

I do explain they need to include him but it falls on deaf ears.

I understand his behaviour is not the best sometimes. E.g regular tantrums, crying, loud screaming but yeah

I feel shitty and im unsure how it will also affect him in the long run

My daughter 10yo is diagnosed with autism with pda profile and generalized anxiety.

Life is getting harder and harder. For a while she took meds for anxiety, but then she kept refusing and the fight almost drove everyone insane. We decided to take a break. It wasn't working much anymore anyway.

A year later and quite frankly I don't know what to do anymore. She screams about anything. If anything goes wrong, if she doesn't like something, if she's angry, if she's anxious about something. She basically screams. She is always freaking out about something (I know it's the anxiety). But she also directs her anger towards her sister on a daily basis. Her sister could be doing nothing and she gets annoyed. She calls her names and puts her down.

I am at a loss.

I have an appointment with her psychiatrist this week. But what meds has truly helped your kids?

I can't live like this. I don't want her or her sister to have to live like this.

My 7 year old autistic son doesn’t like going to birthday parties. Would you encourage him to go to hang out with his friends or leave the decision up to him? He gets upset when telling him he should go.

Hi moms,

I’m trying to decide whether to get my 3-year-old son formally assessed for autism. I suspect he might be Level 1, but honestly, it doesn't seem to interfere with his daily life very much right now.

My biggest hesitation is the long-term impact of a diagnosis. I worry about him being labeled or bullied, and the fact that a medical diagnosis will be on his record for life. Part of me feels like it might be better to wait and let him make his own decision about an assessment when he grows up. However, I know he's at an age where early intervention is a big talking point.

For those who have been in a similar spot—or already have a diagnosed child—could you weigh in on the pros and cons? If your child was diagnosed around age 3, did it actually help them prepare for preschool/kindergarten, or did it just create unnecessary labels? I'd love to hear your experiences. Thank you!

I’ve been struggling a bit with my mental health lately. My son has been more hyperactive and harder to manage these past few days/weeks, and just when I feel like we’re making progress in one area, something else comes up.

This morning, a close family member who spends time with him and understands our daily life sent me a video that honestly threw me off emotionally. I feel pretty down, so I just needed to vent somewhere that might understand.

It was a video about a father of an autistic child who was nonverbal and now supposedly speaks fluently like a neurotypical child. The video promoted a virtual event explaining “how he did it.” This was actually the second time I’ve received it—the first time I ignored it when a friend sent it, but this time it was from a close family member, so I felt like I had to respond.

I told them I’ve seen this video before and I don’t want to keep seeing it, because I’m pretty sure anything it claims is something I’ve already looked into or tried in some form. I also told them my son is his own person and has his own path. If anything has helped me through this journey, it’s learning not to compare him to other children.

Just because one child in a video is autistic and later becomes very fluent doesn’t mean that’s everyone’s outcome.

I wasn’t angry, just really frustrated. Because even if it’s not meant in a bad way, it feels like people are implying that a 15-second video is going to “fix” something I’ve been working on for 6 years.

And I just wish I could say: do you know how much I’ve done, researched, and given up over these years to support my son? Do you know how many nights I’ve stayed up trying to learn and understand? Do you really understand autism beyond videos like this?

I know there’s no bad intention, but it still feels unfair to me and to him. It feels like they don’t fully accept his reality and think there’s a quick fix for something that is anything but quick.

We went over to a church BBQ for the holiday yesterday. We have 2 kids on the spectrum (our 11 year old daughter level 3 and our 4 year old son leveel 2.) We kept our 11 year old at home with my dad, because she hates crowds. My son's Autism is a little less severe than hers, so we took him. Everything was going good, he doesn't mind crowds and was attached to his tablet and me. When they started doing fireworks, he flipped out. I carried him into the house to remove him from the situation. He scratched the back of my neck enough to draw blood, and kicked my pregnancy bump which almost sent me over the edge. My husband helped take over and we just worked as a team, removing him from the issue while putting on his PJ'S and I gave him a melatonin gummy.

I was just wondering if anyone else can relate. I was also wondering what helps or has helped you with these triggers? With our daughter, noises never really bothered her to the point where she became aggressive.

my son will be 4 next month and seems to have very rigid, OCD-like behaviors around objects. For example, at a crowded pool, he won’t enjoy swimming or playing. Instead, he becomes completely focused on every toy around the pool and feels the need to throw every toy back into the water. He’ll keep doing it over and over and gets very upset if more toys are left out. Has anyone else’s child done something similar? Was it OCD, autism-related rigidity, or something else? And did anything help?

How many of you have a firstborn autistic child and now your second born is autistic too?

We just got back home from spending time with my son’s cousins and I realized just how different he is. He points with his whole hand to something he wants but won’t isolate his finger, he doesn’t wave, he’s just started speech therapy for a moderate expressive language delay, he only responds to his name 50% of the time, he has just started having mini meltdowns every time we transition from outside to inside or from the kitchen to the living room, he is fixated on tires (every time we go outside he wants to touch the tires on each car), he opens and closes doors multiple times and would rather do that than play with toys.

I’ve tried talking to my husband about this, and my mother, and my mother-in-law, but no one thinks it’s autism but me and my friend who is an EC teacher at an elementary school (and she has only said that some of his behaviors are signs of autism).

I’m completely melting down and can’t handle any of this. To top it all off, I have stage 3 breast cancer and am awaiting the results of a staging MRI after my chemo treatments to plan for surgery.

Please, can you tell me how you cope? How you’ve learned to accept the differences in your autistic child?

My daughter has always been pretty aggressive at times, but ever since she hit puberty, she has been a monster. Hitting her mother and myself all the time and with no trigger, she'll be fine then just suddenly lash out. The doctor has attempted changing meds multiple times and she even spent a week in an inpatient facility (that did no good as all they did was sedate her for the week instead of actually attempting any therapy or medication adjustments). I don't know what to do, she has become so restless that she can't even enjoy the things she used to do for hours. She paces around the house like a dog in a cage and then just lashes out, then goes back to normal acting like she doesn't know what even happened.