Famous Youtube Guitarist Releases Disturbing Video Manifesto Detailing Motivation Behind String Of Burglaries

NORTH YORKSHIRE — Local YouTube reknowned guitarist stunned fans and North Yorkshire Police yesterday by uploading a 97-minute video manifesto explaining the bizarre motivations behind an alleged string of burglaries spanning the county.

The video, titled "Open Chords, Open Doors", insists the break-ins were "never about theft" but rather "a nationwide campaign to locate the perfect acoustic resonance."

According to the manifesto, every house "contains a unique note," and the only reliable way to hear it was to enter uninvited at approximately 2:17 a.m. while everyone was asleep.

"I wasn't stealing televisions," the video explains. "I was borrowing the silence around them."

Police, however, allege that several televisions were in fact stolen.

The manifesto dismisses this as "an unfortunate administrative side effect."

Among the stranger revelations is a detailed explanation for why every burglary reportedly involved the suspect making a cup of tea before leaving.

"A good burglar always leaves the kettle in better condition than he found it," the manifesto explains. "This is simply professionalism."

Authorities admitted they had "absolutely no idea what that means."

The musician admits he may have "gone too far" during one incident when he "baptised" a homeowner's guitar in the bathtub. Police state no evidence of such an incident even exists. "Psychoactive drugs can result in hallucinatory episodes" the police spokesman said.

The video ends by announcing that all future burglaries have been cancelled due to "creative differences with doorbells."

Legal experts described the manifesto as "one of the most bizarre confessions ever recorded."

At press time, police confirmed they were investigating reports of another suspicious incident after a man allegedly entered a home, stole a pair of car keys and entered the homeowner's vehicle. Ring video footage shows the suspect spent 47 minutes inside the vehicle in the driveway before exiting and leaving the keys. Investigators are examining DNA evidence left at the scene.