u/KetsuOnyo

I’m so tired of hearing about how my mom did EVERYTHING to give me and my adopted brother a good life. She did everything. Parent teacher conference, making sure we did our homework, paying for piano lessons, church every Sunday.

means absolutely nothing when I never felt like I could talk to her about anything or even say “hey I’m sad” without getting yelled at. Or having my mental and physical health issues dismissed/untreated until adulthood because she didn’t believe in them.

good to know that the mere act of adopting someone and making sure they go to school is the pinnacle of parenting.

Any time someone has a legit complaint, you'll see a dozen people rushing into the comments to defend the therapist, no matter how egregious. It's always the client misinterpreting, not wanting to change, transference whatever, outright blaming the client for everything. Would they do this for ANY other profession where you're paying hundreds of dollars for their services?? What is with the therapist idealization?

my whole life she was spewing the savior shit about how she was lead by God to pluck me out of the inner city and give me a chance at education [insert openly racist things here]. I had a rough start because of undiagnosed ADHD, took over a decade to get an associate‘s degree, and then another year to get a bachelor’s. She’s incapable of being happy about me doing the thing she wanted. Constantly tearing me down, saying it’s a waste and that I already failed, stop obsessing over school and go get a job at Costco.

Make up your damn mind, am I supposed to be the “saved adoptee taking advantage of my education opportunity” or not?

I'm officially done, cancelled all my sessions, and not going back. Can't talk about the emotional toll of chronic illness, job burnout, fear about applying for grad school...anything...without her trying to force this cringe-inducing modality into the session. I'll be happy to never hear about ""parts"" again. The most inflexible, amateurish therapist I've ever seen.

I've seen this over and over, but a couple recent ones really stand out. Just read a book where the villain is a self-hating transracially adopted serial killer. The author really thought he was doing something here. (I'm a Black transracial adoptee adopted by extremely religious white people and that hit too close to home and was handled so poorly imo). I read another mystery book where the killer was adopted, kills his bio mom, is called a psychopath and dies at the end. He was a teenager in that book too, it was gross. The adoptee as shorthand for evil/wrong/disturbed is so fucking tired. Media needs to do better.

I can't handle these tropes anymore, it's legitimately upsetting.