How do you view changing careers as 30F with 28M boyfriend questioning being with me due to financial and societal reasons that come with this?
So I live with my bf 28 yr old. We been together for 1 year dated for 2-3 months before comitting.
We moved in and moved to a new city with new jobs together for last 7 months.
I convinced myself to do a manager role did it for 2 months and had a breakdown and quit. I didnt do terrible at all my team liked me and a few were confused why I quit.
Meanwhile the job my bf chose he is still doing and is amazing in it.
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Backstory: the job i quit is what i got a degree and certification in however 3 years prior to now I had quarter life crisis while doing the internship and realized i did not want it as my career. However went back to doing it on an entry role for the last year before taking this manager role. I have been wanting to career pivot since after the internship but have been working on other areas of self development for the past 3 years.
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For the last 3 months after I quit I found a part time job and decided to go back to school for a different career. I am currently enrolled taking courses. Yes my life is precarious and i know that but i am giving myself a chance I stuck to this one career option for a span of 7 years.... beyond being a girlfriend i really believe now I should focus on myself.
My bf verbalized support for me always as i explained to him all my emotions and connected the dots for him throughout this syruggle of mine. However he understands why im doing what im doing, but shows concern of my future growth in being able to make money. He feels uncertain choosing me as his forever partner when it comes to finances. I totally understand where he is coming from. Also his family would really judge me we are basically not telling anyone.
He has expressed to me how he is concerned for a future since my parents are blue collared workers are not very well set for retirement, my adult sibling is unemployed and most of my cousins are not highly educated but make decent livings to support their families. His family is much more well off when it comes to finances they run businesses and all of his cousins are well educated.
I feel like i tricked myself into believing I could be with someone who has things more together a loving and more structured family, good education, and good finances. I got really wrapped up in being the right one for him and his family. I feel like i lied to everyone and myself.
Now I am starting to really understand that i need to figure myself out as an individual before having a partner. I am wanting to break up but our lease doesnt end til next summer and we still love eachother so much. We get along with the way we think, our emotional regulation and we can really talk about deep issues together and hold space for one another.
Im torn and i know he is torn to. I do think we should hold on to see how my change in this career pans out to the end of our lease but its tough being in the thick of it. We have ralked about this too but are still having on going talks to come.