How on earth do people actually do this?
So for context I’m 22 AMAB (too afraid to call myself a trans woman) and I have pretty much spent the past year in a nightmare realm where I can’t decide whether or not I should transition. Some days I’m completely ashamed of myself for even tolerating the idea that I could be a woman, and other days I can barely function out of fear that I will never be one. I desperately want to be a girl and take HRT and change my name and all that stuff, I’ve known this since I was like 13… but I just have no idea how anybody has ever had the courage or conviction to actually act upon this kind of desire. I don’t feel like being a woman is something I could ever be allowed to access. For example: I’ve wanted to shave my body hair for YEARS, but anytime I almost do it I’m afraid of being too exposed! I don’t know what to do! A lot of this is probably due to my transphobic state and family… but I don’t feel like that’s an obstacle I could ever overcome. I kind of just want to hide away forever. Does anybody have any advice or suggestions? (Yes I’m going to see a therapist.)
Sorry if I’m being silly.