I hate my mother
Me and my mother have a very strange relationship. She complains about everything I do. Like she’ll give me a lecture on how I’m inconsiderate and selfish I am. So I’ll listen to what she says and really be more considerate of her. And she’s complaining because I wasn’t considerate how she wanted me to be.
She calls me names and makes fun of me and belittles me constantly. And she does this in front of my child. And when I crash out she finds it funny. Like I’ll beg her to stop and to leave me alone. And she won’t. And she wants me to crash out on her because she expects her out of me. I still struggle with the mean things she has said to me to this day
I’m terrified of her because she will do anything or say anything to get her way. Even if it means hurting me. She’s threaten to call CPS on me twice because she didn’t get her way. And she doesn’t care how it made me feel.
She is super manipulative. And no one believes me on how she is at all because she has a very nice job, very nice to others, and really just an all around fun person to be around. But behind closed doors she is a nightmare
I also feel like I can’t escape her or talk about it because she knows everyone. Literally I was out at the bars with my friends and one of her friends saw me and told her I was out. Like I feel so trapped.
She has bipolar 1 and I have 2. And I’m so afraid I’ll do my child like that. That’s one of the reasons why I’m in this group to hear about other peoples experiences with have a BP parent. I don’t want to cause my daughter so much harm because she doesn’t deserve that. I put the work in to be a good mom to her. I just hope it’s enough. I don’t want her to hate me like I hate my mom.