My boyfriend is bad at sex
My boyfriend (26m) and I (21f) have been together for about a year. We started out as a sort of friends with benefits situation but then progressed into a relationship.
For reference my boyfriend is only the second man I’ve been with sexually, but he’s been with twelve girls before me. So he’s far more sexually experienced than I am, and that’s why at first I kind of thought that the sex we were having was normal. I would often initiate and ensure he was hard before sex by giving him oral or doing hand stuff but he wouldn’t do much for me. So more often than not I was as dry as sandpaper when we would have sex. Eventually, my boyfriend said he “felt bad” that I wasn’t orgasming during sex so he started going down on me more often. It wasn’t good, and I tried to tell him how to do better but he kind of just ignored me and continued to do it how he always did it. So, unfortunately for me I very rarely orgasmed with him, but fortunately for him I was now “wet enough” for him when we’d have sex.
Another thing I should add is that my boyfriend struggles a bit with ed. So it’s also very common for him to rush through anything to do with my pleasure because he’s worried he’ll lose his erection. I’ve tried to tell him that sometimes I wish my pleasure was his main priority because his pleasure is always mine, but it hasn’t led to any real change. If he goes down on me it ALWAYS leads into him rushing and not actually getting me off and him just shoving it in.
It honestly really makes me sad because he’s told me about his past sexual experiences and it definitely sounds like he has the capacity to care about a woman’s pleasure and to be adventurous, but he just doesn’t want to do it with me. All we do is missionary because that’s what feels best for him. I’ve tried to suggest other things to spice up our sex life and actually get me aroused and he seems open to it for a minute, but then just never follows through on any of it.
I also kind of feel like the man in my relationship. It feels like I want to have sex all the time and he just doesnt. At one point in our relationship we went 3 months without sleeping together. I tried everything in that 3 month window to get him to sleep with me. I lost weight, I wore revealing clothes, I would try to set the mood with giving him massages after long work days, I even flat out begged him to, but he just wouldn’t. He didn’t touch me at all. It felt like I disgusted him. And it made me think back to the all the women he’d slept with before me. Most of them looked nothing like me, with most of them being older, petite, white, blonde women. Meanwhile, I’m a tall D1 athlete with brown hair, and tan skin. It honestly just made me feel like I wasn’t his type, and I still kind of think this even though he assures me that I am.
I honestly just don’t know what to do. I love my boyfriend so much. Outside of the bedroom he is really sweet and caring and has been there for me through really tough times, but I don’t know if I can overlook just how bad our sex life is. Any advice would be much appreciated! Thanks!
TL;DR
My boyfriend doesn’t care about my pleasure in the bedroom.