My father abandoned us. What is my responsibility to him as a Muslim?
My father left us when I was 13 I am now in my late 20s. He has come back to stay with us for a short period of time, to sort out some health related issues and documents. My mother lets him stay with us despite her own resentment and frustration. They are divorced so they are now non mehram to each other so he shouldn’t be staying with us. Thats a whole topic in itself. I think she’s scared to kick him out because he has nowhere else to stay and people will speak poorly of her if she kicks him out.
Last time he was here was in September 2024 and I remember feeling a lot of depression and anxiety about his arrival. It was like years of pent up frustration had exploded inside me and I could no longer function. When my father left when I was a teen my mother went into deep depression and mental health crisis that almost sent her to hospital. She’s since gotten better but my family has always struggled to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, etc. I have other sibling and a younger brother who was 4 when my dad left. None of them have come to visit since he has left and I am the only one still living at home with my dad ( we all live in the same city).
Anyhow, to keep it short I have been very cold towards my father since he arrived a few days ago. Not really speaking to him unless it’s necessary and sometimes I ignore his attempts at conversation and walk away. I do this so I don’t lash out at him because I feel it bubbling inside me.
I know this is haram and I should be kind to him since he’s still my father. I want to gain Allahs pleasure but I don’t want to fall into poor boundaries or people pleasing. I struggled with this a lot in the past and my dad took advantage by asking for things from me.
What is my responsibility islamically? Do I have to be kind to him despite what he’s done? Will I gain Allahs anger if I continue to ignore him? Please give me any advice on this. May Allah make it easy on all who are struggling.