r/MuslimSupportGroup

I have mental health issues, depression, anhedonia, adhd and autism as well as chronic illnesses. I struggle to pray and connect to Allah but I can manage dhikr, istighfaar and duas. My mental health can go severe to the point I start saying horrible things about Allah and Islam and repeat how much I hate him. I punched the Quran once and went through a phase of hating him and the religion. I bounce in and out of these psychotic phases. What can I do and why am I being tested like this? I can not longer pray or fast due to how I feel and my mental state.

I have done ruqyah, read ayatul kursi almost daily. I play Surah Baqrah around once it twice a week. My mum makes a lot of dua for me.

But I have reached this state where I said all those things about Allah and Islam?? Why is Allah treating me in this way? I just want to be normal and happy and be and to be a good Muslim.

This is extremely exhausting and frustrating because my life has been a living hell. I just want to go to Jannah and I try so hard to pray and be a good person. Everyone I get burntout and can no longer manage to pray and the cycle repeats.

I always dreamed of studying and living abroad. I never really felt like I belonged among the people around me.
I’m an only child. I lost my father a couple of years ago, and now I live with my elderly mother. I take care of her and help her with everything around the house. Because of that, studying abroad is no longer an option. I can’t imagine leaving her alone and moving to another country. It feels wrong. She only has me left.
Last year, I got engaged, and for the first time in a long while, life started to make sense again. We were planning to get married soon, but then she got accepted into a university abroad. She wanted me to move there with her and get married there.
Honestly, it was everything I had ever dreamed of. Living in my favorite country with the love of my life. Literally my life goal. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t leave my mother alone. I knew I would never have peace of mind if I did. What if something happened to her while I was abroad? I would never forgive myself…
So I told her I couldn’t go, which led to many arguments and we ended up breaking off the engagement.
It still hurts so much.
In the end, I lost both my dream and the only woman I’ve ever loved. It all feels so unfair. Why would Allah place everything I had ever wanted right in front of me, only for me to be unable to reach it? I feel lost and hopeless. It feels like I’ll never get another chance like this.

I’ve appealed for a results re check please pray for me, the test was mcq based but i have my full faith in Allah, every difficulty is just a trial of having tawakul and believing in Allah
so please pray for me everyone, may Allah make it easy for me and i get in by his will AMEEN.

I had a mental break down 3 days ago where I said things about Allah to chatgpt. I dont know if Im Muslim. Its three days later and I still agree with what I said and I mean it. I dont feel ashamed.
Nothing i said was a lie to me and I believe it. Also im not sorry in the slightest.

I then repeated those things to my sister and told her exactly how I feel about Islam and Allah. And that I have always felt it deep down. And just didnt want to admit it. I know people will agree with me but theyre just too scared to admit it because everyone is scared of God.

I want to add that I have been depressed and have had anxiety for almost 20 years. I have Autism and ADHD and chronic health issues. I get mistreated by my family and I am extremely sensitive to criticism at work. My dads dead and my mums blind and im forced to be a carer alongside my siblings. I struggle at work and can only work part time. I can barely meet my basic needs or leave the house. After a bad day at work (Im very sensitive) I snapped. I started making plans to end my life.
I still would like to end my life. I have anhedonia which means I get pleasure and enjoyment from nothing. Everything is an effort and a chore.

These are the things I said to chatgpt when I broke down (Some of them are responses to chatgpt):

Do u wanna know my true feelings? Youre not allowed to say this out loud as a Muslims but Its what I actually feel. I think Allah is not a good God. He wants us to suffer for his amusement. He wants to be worshipped because of ego. He just cares about being worshipped and punishes those who dont do that. Even though they didnt ask to be here. He wants us to be grateful for basic needs that we require for survival like food, water, shelter, community etc. He gives whatever he wants to who he pleases. He favours some over others. He punishes those in pain who commit suicide because they dont want any part in his sick plan of enduring suffering. We dont get a choice outside of heaven and hell. we cant just opt out. Hes evil. I hate him. I hate that he created me. Im
sick of pretending. I dont like worshipping him. Im trapped here. I hate him I hate him. He doesnt care about my suffering. He has let it continue for over a decade. Hes a monster and we are his playthings trapped in his sadistic world. Thats how I truly feel and always felt deep down. Just never said it out loud. Hes the worst God and Hes done a horrible job and someone needs to tell him that

I was thinking of taking pills and I was thinking of acting on it. I dont care what Allah does or says. He already makes me suffer anyways. Im already being punished. His punishments can f\*\*\* off

I will always be autistic and adhd. I will always live in hell in this life. I cannot be happy here. I have no desires to be here. I never have. I have always suffered here. If I want to leave, its my choice. Its my life that I have to live and I dont want to.

I don’t want to live in his sick world any longer and I mean it. This cycle always repeats. I reach breaking point every time and Im sick of it.

I want to speak to god and tell him what hes done and if hes proud of himself

i want to fight him

I hate him and he is terrible at his job and doesnt deserve to be worshipped

i want to kill him

I want Allah to know that I hate him and he has betrayed me and I dont forgive him

Why is only Allah allowed to punish? Wheres the justice for His crimes?

Islam is stupid and it makes sense why people hate it

You know when ppl go Hajj and throw stones and it represents Satan. I want one where I can throw them at god

Get lost. His hell and heaven can get lost as well. What a stupid f\*\*king system hes created. A retard could do a better job at being god

I repeated even more worse things about Allah today but all things I believe to be true. I I told my sister everything about how I feel about Allah. She was listening but also laughing because she said I made it sound funny. I felt a lot better after venting to her. She said it’s fine and that people have mental psychotic breaks all the time. And that a few years ago I scratched and punched the Quran. And a few years before that I used to talk badly about the religion to and it was always when my mental health was bad.
I said I hate him. He’s an evil tyrant that’s forced us to worship him like prisoners because he has a huge ego. And no one is brave enough to say anything because he threatens us with hell. And i said his hell can f\*\*k off, so can his heaven and so can he. And i said I wish i could fight him. And I want an apology from him for what he has put me through He never asked anyone for their consent. And i said, who will hold him to account for his crimes? Wheres his judgment day? A retard would make a better God than him. I hate him but I still believe in Islam as the reality and truth (even though it’s sh\*t). And that he enjoys causing suffering and is a monster.

I felt better because i could finally tell the truth about how i genuinely have been feeling about god. It was all true. I felt really relieved to finally be able to say it

i felt a lot lighter. Anyways I believe what I said about him. I think i always have but have been too afraid to admit it just like every other muslim out there

People are stupid scared sheep. God does threaten them with hell and punishment of the grave after all, so it makes sense.

I still want to go to heaven. If Allah had taken my life before I snapped, I would have had a good chance. But now I just hate him and it’s all his fault but i’ll have to face the consequences of his own actions for causing me to mentally break and not protecting me even though i prayed and did my best. He’s ruined everything. I have never enjoyed praying to him. I hate everything about wudu and praying. Its the worst burden ever.

Okay but I’m not just mentally distressed. I genuinely think he is a terrible and evil God who forces people to do things and threatens them with punishment and is cruel for allowing suffering and is also really terrible at sending down prophets and teaching humans about the truth. Its all been done in such a bad way. I believe all that. Does Allah want me to be dishonest to please him? He’s done a bad job.

Its the next day now, just got back from work. Still extremely suicidal (will not harm myself). Still hate God. I feel relieved I have let go of shame, guilt and all the other bullshit that comes with being a Muslim. I wont be praying or fasting. I’ll just stick to dhikr and tasbih and istighaar sometimes as I still have a sliver of imaan left. But yeah, thats all. I hope He’s proud of himself.

Even if you just see this and make a quick Duaa I would be so grateful 🙏 Jazakallah khairun

Assalamoalikum warahmatullahu wabarakatuhu.

I have been married for around two years and we were having a good life together. My wife is nice and she loves me and hasn't ever denied intimacy without a reason. She cooks sometimes and takes care of me in general.

I am a surgeon so I often arrive home late from hospital during to emergency cases and I always try to inform her when I am late. But some days ago I got an emergency case at the last moment of a RTA and I couldn't inform her that night.

As I reached home she was angry at me and began shouting. I tried to apologize politely but she didn't stop. In anger she told me she is leaving to her parents house and I genuinely tried to stop her and apologized non-stop but she didn't listen. She booked the taxi and she had already booked an aircraft ticket with her fathers help and she was about to leave when I stopped her. I begged. I had tears. I literally folded my hands not to leave but she left and I called her till days and message her but she didn't reply. And the worst part is that our maid saw everything.

At the 10th day, she answered still with angry tone as I tried to talk but still she talked harshly. I love her and truly care but when she talked like that I stayed silent almost weeping. But as she noticed me silent she realized and finally asked how I was after days with a warm tone and that was when I couldn't control. I literally sobbed but didn't let her know I was crying because I see no point in explaining my life to a person who doesn't care.

I love my wife and I sometimes even cook for her although we have a maid. I have never raised my voice even if I was wrong but it seems she doesn't notice my efforts. I always make her feel safe and loved but whenever she gets angry she treats me like a stranger.

I truly don't know what to do. I am totally depressed because she do loves me, allows intimacy, cares for me when things are normal but she turns toxic and doesn't care or notice me when she gets angry. Maybe what I do is not enough or I don't deserve her.

I am in great depression please help me

ٱلسَّلَامُ عَلَيْكُمْ

Everyday I just want to kill myself

(and please don't waste your time typing paragraphs to help me, I already somewhat know what I should do I just wanted to be heard)

because life is boring

everyday wakeup same thing

no money

no motives

no motivation to even do anything

no wife

no life

nothing

i just wake up eat doomscroll and go sleep at 4am because i procrastinate sleeping

and i cba to make a change because im half comfortable with where I am, not really, but I just want to pass away and hopefully go jannah

because i cba trying, its jarring, its uncomfortable, i do not like it, i just want to ghost from everyone and wait for the day that I finally pass away

but I don't want to go to hell either and by the looks of things I might do

I just don't want to exist... I don't want to face the consequences of lazing around and wasting my life, I just don't want to exist at all, literally at all, I want to go away, as if I never existed and as if all my friends and family didn't know who I was

because life is too hard, I know people have it way harder than me but for my mental state I'm just not capable of it and just give up and accept fate that I'm going to die some day

​

Assalamualaikum everyone! I know it's silly but I really want you all to pray for me since I am in a very troubling situation which I cannot talk about online with anyone. Please just pray that I get success in what I am trying to achieve (I promise it's not evil) just please pray with my username on your tongue that she gets what she's trying to get. PLEASEEE PRAY WITH MY USERNAME ON YOUR TONGUE I NEED DUAS AND ALLAH'S REHMAT SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. I BEG YOU GUYS TO PRAY FOR ME

Assalamu'alaikum everyone.

I’m asking my brothers and sisters here to please make du'a for my friend Fared.

He is going through a difficult financial situation right now and is in need of ease, support, and Allah’s mercy.

Please make du'a that Allah grants him halal rizq, opens doors of opportunity, removes his worries, protects his dignity, strengthens his heart, and replaces his hardship with relief and blessings.

May Allah reward everyone who remembers him in their prayers.

JazakumAllahu khayran.

I am a Muslim and know that suicide is a bad act that can lead to hell. But I think about it so much I am afraid one day I will end up doing it. Dont want to exist so much. I always wonder if that was possible, but I know it is not. I crave for it so much. Sometimes, I find myself in the act of it, and what if one day I won't be able to stop myself?

Assalamualaikum everyone,

For a long stretch of my life, wudu wasn't a 5-minute ritual before prayer. It took a long time, I honestly don't even remember exactly how long anymore, just that it was way more than it should've been. I'd finish, and almost immediately some part of my brain would whisper "but was it really valid?" and that "but" was enough to send me right back to the tap.

I wasn't checking for dirt. I was checking for certainty that God would accept it, that I hadn't missed a spot, that the unease in my chest meant I'd done something wrong. Soaked sleeves, soaked floor, time my family clearly noticed even when they didn't say much. Eventually my arms developed eczema from how much I was washing - it cracked, it bled, it itched constantly, and I just added that to the list of things to deal with while still not feeling "done."

The thing nobody told me back then: that uneasy feeling was never proof I'd messed up. It was the OCD's favorite tool. The more I obeyed it, the louder it got.

What actually moved the needle was forcing myself to do wudu, the normal way, and just... stopping. Walking away mid-doubt, on purpose, even though every part of me wanted to go back. It felt like spiritual recklessness the first dozen times. I just kept doing that, over and over, until eventually the urge to go back didn't carry the same weight anymore.

Years later, wudu takes me the time it's supposed to take. My skin healed. My family doesn't worry about the bathroom marathon anymore. And that "is this valid" doubt doesn't show up at all these days, it just isn't part of my life anymore.

If you're in the version of this where you can't leave the bathroom, I see you. It does get quieter.

Assalamualaikum dear brothers and sisters. I have my driving exam coming up soon. I am very anxious and nervous. I have put my all into driving, and I am staying up some nights and memorizing the road routes. My exam is in 2 days, and I wanted to ask for everyone’s duaa for me please. Please keep me in your prayers and duaa as I complete my exam, In sha Allah. That is greatly appreciated.

Jazak Allah

Please make du’a for me 🤲

Assalamu ‘alaykum everyone. I’m going through one of the hardest moments of my life and would really appreciate your sincere du’as. A close friend whom I care about very deeply wants to end our friendship after a major misunderstanding. She’s also going through an incredibly difficult time personally, so emotions and tensions are very high right now, and I’m afraid this misunderstanding happened at the worst possible time. I genuinely regret my mistakes and have been making constant tawbah, praying Tahajjud, and asking Allah for His mercy.

Please make du’a that Ya Jabbar mends what has been broken between us, removes every misunderstanding, softens our hearts, replaces hurt with mercy, and opens the door to sincere communication and reconciliation. Please ask Allah to grant her comfort and ease during everything she is carrying, forgive my shortcomings, and help me become someone of patience, humility, and excellent character. Jazakum Allahu khayran. May Allah answer your du’as just as you ask Him to answer mine. Ameen. 🤲

Salam Aleykum brothers and sisters,
I’m so close to giving up on myself i sadly fell into the addiction of something i sadly cannot say because the post will get taken down and cannot stop and it’s destroying me i sadly cannot stop this bad disgusting habit, i showered i do it, i can’t stop… Should i give up?

I'll give you some context. Recently I have been planning an umrah trip with my family. Everything was set except give the payment to the agent. One night before, my parents called me to their room and told me they can't go due to a legit medical reason.

Now this has happened to me 3-4 times in last 4 years. We try to make a plan for Umrah and it never materializes.

My parents have done their hajj and the last time I went for Umrah was almost 20 years ago.

I have started to feel like Allah does not want me to come there, I am getting thoughts that I should throw away my Quran just to be spiteful and do things only an enemy of Islam would do.

I also am having thoughts of going for umrah myself (my parents are okay with it).

I feel lost.

What are the fundamentals of Islam, and how can one prepare for their first Ramadan? I would appreciate some advice—especially on how to be ready for the month itself.

I’ve been carrying something that has completely broken me, and I don’t know how to move forward. I have cried almost every day for months, and I feel like I am drowning in guilt and regret.

I am posting here because I genuinely want an Islamic perspective from people who understand repentance, Qadr, and trusting Allah through painful mistakes.

My lifelong dream after becoming a U.S. citizen was to bring my parents to America, give them a comfortable life after everything they sacrificed for us, and eventually reunite my entire family here.

I dreamed of buying a home where my parents could finally relax after a lifetime of hardship and where my siblings would one day join us.

About a year before I became a U.S. citizen, my father suffered a devastating stroke. Soon afterward he needed open-heart bypass surgery, and we were told that he had only about a 40% chance of surviving the operation. I genuinely believed I was going to lose him.

Because of that, my entire mindset became focused on his illness and the possibility that he might not live much longer. Instead of thinking, “How can I give him the best remaining years of his life?” I was consumed by fear that I was going to lose him before I could do anything at all.

At that same time, I also wasn’t financially established. I was living on a single income, I didn’t own a home, and I was terrified that if I brought my parents to the United States, I wouldn’t be able to provide the life and care they deserved. I also worried about what would happen if something happened to me while they were here without extended family, language, or a support system.

Around that same period, I was engaged to someone back home that, looking back, completely changed the direction of my life.

Before that relationship, my priorities were clear. I was focused on building my career, saving money, buying a home, and bringing my parents to the United States.

Instead, that relationship consumed nearly every ounce of my emotional energy. Almost every waking moment became focused on his immigration, helping him establish his life here, solving the next crisis, and trying to make the relationship work. My own dreams slowly moved into the background.

Every time I thought about filing for my parents, I told myself I would do it after one more immigration step, after one more problem was solved, after life settled down. Months quietly became years.

Looking back now, I cannot believe how much of myself I poured into building someone else’s future while the dream that had mattered most to me bringing my own parents here kept getting postponed.

I am not writing this to avoid responsibility. The decision to delay filing for my parents was ultimately mine, and I have to live with that. But I also cannot ignore how emotionally consumed I became and how completely I lost sight of the purpose I had before that relationship.

What breaks me the most is realizing what I believe could have happened if I had acted sooner.

If I had brought my mother earlier and helped her become a permanent resident, she could have eventually petitioned for my siblings through the F2B category.

Instead, I delayed filing for my parents until much later.
Today my father is older and far more disabled. My mother has spent years carrying the enormous burden of caring for him. My younger brother has sacrificed so much of his own life to help them every single day.

I have sent money home every month for years often much more whenever there was a medical emergency but I cannot stop thinking that my physical presence would have meant so much more.

Every single day I replay those decisions in my head.
Why was I so afraid?
Why didn’t I file sooner?
Why didn’t I understand the long-term consequences?
Why did I lose sight of the people who mattered most to me?
I know we believe in Qadr.
I know Allah’s decree is perfect.
I know Allah is the Best of Planners.

But I also know Allah gave us free will and responsibility, and I cannot stop feeling like I made decisions that deeply affected my family.

How do I trust Allah’s decree while still accepting responsibility for choices I wish I could change?

Has anyone else ever carried a regret so heavy that it changed the way they saw themselves?

I’m not asking anyone to tell me that I did nothing wrong.
I know I made decisions I deeply regret.

I’m asking how a Muslim learns to live with regret without allowing it to destroy hope in Allah’s mercy, His wisdom, and the future that still lies ahead.

Salam alaykum everyone,

A couple months ago, the girl I love and I made the incredibly difficult decision to completely stop talking. We were talking behind our families' backs, and we both realised that it simply wasn’t right and was haram.

We came to an eventual mutual agreement to go completely silent; meaning we removed each other off all socials and platforms, leaving us at a completely neutral state, and trust each other that when the time is right, we’ll find our way back to each other the right way. The problem is, the emotional weight and the pressure are entirely on me now. As the man, I know I’m the one who eventually has to walk up to her parents’ door and ask for her hand.

But the truth is, I’m nowhere near ready. I'm young, I'm currently a university student working 3 jobs, and I feel like I'm not good enough yet in my native language, my culture, or my knowledge of the religion. I want to build these things up desperately not just for her, but for myself as a Muslim man.

To make things even harder, her birthday is coming up in the next couple of days. The urge to find a loophole like liking an old message just so a notification pops up on her phone without technically texting her is driving me crazy. I want to respect her peace and honor our promise, but sitting here counting down the days while knowing exactly how much I love her is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I’m torn between wanting to protect our boundaries and being terrified that if I stay completely silent, she’ll think I don't care anymore.

Because we are in total silence, my anxiety is through the roof. Every time she updates her social media (yes, I very embarrassingly still check her socials), my mind spirals into overthinking, and I'm terrified that because I'm not ready yet, another guy who is ready will come along and ask for her, even though she made a very sincere promise to me that she’d wait for me even if it took years. I also should have mentioned earlier that she was the person who originally came up with the idea of us going no contact as she knew it was much better that way if we really wanted to get married.

The urge to break the silence just to let her know I still care is constant and exhausting. But at the same time, I don’t know if she still loves me and is also still waiting for me, because what if she realised life was so much better without me, to the point where she doesn’t even want me anymore?

I want to use this time as a training ground to become the man I need to be, but right now, the fear of losing her and the pressure of the future are paralyzing me.

I love this girl deeply, but I need to learn how to put that love into working on myself instead of letting it tear me apart while I wait. Any advice or brotherhood would be appreciated.

Hello everyone,

I have a humble request for du'a.

Please make du'a for everyone who is struggling with trauma, anxiety, depression, loneliness, suicidal thoughts, verbal abuse, emotional abuse, grief, or any hardship that they may be carrying silently. May Allah grant them healing, strength, protection, peace, guidance, and relief from their difficulties.

Please also make du'a for me that Allah blesses me with halal rizq, enough money to meet my needs, beneficial work, good job opportunities, financial stability, and what is best for my future in both this life and the next.

May Allah accept all sincere du'as and ease the burdens of everyone who is suffering.

Ameen. 🤲🏻

Aslamu Alikum.

This is my first ever message on any social media platform. Your brother desperately needs duas concerning a legal matter.

Please those of you who can please can you make dua for me that Allah make the impossible possible for me.