i need resources and help
i don’t know how to start this, or really where to begin with getting help. i know i have an issue with alcohol. i come from a family who is alcohol dependent and very few have gotten help/sober for their addictions. i always said it could and would never ever happen to me, and that i’ve seen too much to let myself get that way, all while i still drank and lost control of myself more times than i can count. i was molested by a parental figure starting at 12/13, and date-raped by someone i thought was my friend at 15. i’ve been using copious amounts of alcohol to cope since. i have willingly destroyed myself and excused it as being young and having fun, but i’m not having fun anymore. this is a full blown dependency and addiction. i’ve spiraled into having full blown panic attacks that can last hours and suicidal thoughts weekly. i don’t want what happened to me as a child to decipher who i am as an adult. i need help, resources, therapists, meetings. this is my first time admitting i have an addiction and i am terrified and full of shame. please recommend your best courses of treatment. what did you do to get sober and resist the urge to drink? what is life like during sobriety? please tell me everything.