Would you cut your father off from your life?
I’ll try to give the condensed version; when I was born, my father left my mother for the woman he was cheating on her with.
He was nonexistent, refused to pay child support and raised her children while ignoring his own.
Fast forward, 18 years, the woman he left my mother for passed away and he met a nice woman for marriage number four.
He apologize for not being there in the past and I accepted it and we had a great relationship for 25 years. His amazing wife, unfortunately passed away.
My father was feeling lonely and desperate, and hooked up with the first woman he met. Unfortunately, she seems like a bit of an opportunist and has been spending his money quite fast.
Since then he has made no effort to contact his grandchildren from his previous wife, ( her kids had kids from her previous marriage, but he raised them, ( pretty much as the only grandpa they knew since birth) he is also kept me in my special needs brother on the back burner. He prioritized this new family above his own in every way/ he puts all his effort into them. ( the new woman and her adult children) it’s like déjà vu from the past.
Anyways, I’m so tired of being hurt by him. I feel completely neglected, any promises he’s made have never come to fruition, he seems extremely uninterested in my life, and quite frankly, I feel judged by him and his girlfriend because I know she’s always in his ear and doesn’t like me.
I would like to write him off only for self-preservation because I’m extremely hurt. I’ve tried to talk to him on numerous occasions, and he just blows me off. Yes I received an obligatory phone call once in a while, but I know he doesn’t care.
My husband says I shouldn’t do this because he’s an old man and if he dies that I will regret it. But I feel that it’s my own fault for being hurt by letting myself get hurt by being in his life.
What would you do? I drafted a nice letter explaining myself, but I feel like she will intercept it and he wouldn’t get it anyways.
This behaviour makes me feel like his apology for the past means nothing because he’s doing it again.
Even writing this I feel ridiculous because I’m now 45 years old with daddy issues.
My mother has passed on and he’s the only parent that I have. All I want to have is a parent that cares but you can’t make someone care.