u/Kindly_Tangerine8337

I am Mexican and as of late, I can't help but notice inconsistencies and wildly different information and opinions everywhere I look, some go back before Mexico even existed.

• Whether the spaniards brought "civilization" to the "uncivilized" indigenous peoples
• Whether the Porfiriato was good or not, a does-the-end-justify-the means question I guess
• More recent stuff, such as if the Salinas de Gortari election was manipulated. This one is more explainable if we account corruption, but still.

Not having a solid historical "objective" consensus is so demoralizing and makes manipulating people much easier.

I understand that one political party being in charge for nearly half a century has something to do with it, but what else?

I don't really know how to summarize what's been going on in order for this to be readable, but I'll try my best.

I graduated high school back in Mexico around august 2024. I moved to the US with my mom and step-dad that same year, around november or december. My original plan was to apply to college here, since I had a really hopeless vision of the future back home, and having lawful permanent status helped a lot and was a huge advantage for basically everything, I'd even probably pay lower tuition for a public school in California than going to college in a private university in Mexico.

Fast forward to today, after rough times: underestimating how rough it would be to start a new life in a completely different place, on top of having no friends (which is largely my fault for not putting myself out there, although I did get a job on subway last week), time passing by with me doing nothing for my college applications; partly because of how overwhelmed I felt by them, etc.

I think I had made up my mind of going back to Mexico for a couple of reasons: being with my friends and not "wasting" any more time on gap years are the main ones. But recently I have been overthinking a lot, and I'm very afraid of taking the wrong choice and then regretting it.

I have such an amazing opportunity and going back would more or less take it away from me probably forever. I think I remember Mexico more positively than I should, and going back would mean losing the opportunity to live here and try to make a good life for myself.

I am aware it is more probable that I build a better life for me here, and that there are a lot of things I struggled with living in Mexico that I don't remember as vividly. But I'm also afraid of not making good friends here, or regretting not having gone back.

I feel like I should make a decision this year, since I've taken more time than I feel comfortable with. If I decided to stay I would have very few months to apply to college here, and so I would maybe have to take more time, meaning I would get into college being around 21 years old, i'm 19 at the moment, which I don't quite like the idea of. If I decide to go I'd go back on december.

I'm looking for some guidance, opinions and different insights. Thank you so much.

Mom bought a "garlic bread" from Costco because she knows how much I like stuff with garlic.

I tried making a sandwich with a little bit of philadelphia cheese and some turkey ham, but it was no bueno. What can I prepare with it?

Disclaimer: I'm not really a cook, I can make sandwiches and eggs.