Inner peace ?
Hello 👋
Hope everyone is peaceful.
Writing in this group is always a challenge within itself, as usually I silently read posts and try hard to not ask questions that are not correctly thought through.
But lately I am asking myself questions that my inner voice cannot answer although I beleive I know why? i should probably seek advice before any rash decisions but not sure I shall not receive answers to soothe my thoughts and feelings and I feel the urge to explain and express myself and would apreaciate any input anyone has in regards to my current situation.
So enough sweet talk and let me get into this?
I have had enough of what is perceived as life by the masses, governments and false leaders i want no part of the circus i beleived was mine to navigate or find purpose in.
Since joining this group I have really put my perspective to the test, I have discovered much about myself and what I wish to be ? So the past 2 years i have been going into nature so much more and doing more activities and pushing myself mentally and physically (though the latter is much slower lol) and I have come to have a deeper love for life, nature and all that is.
I am so much more at peace inside and would say my thoughts and inner voice seem more clearer and so much help has come from technology and groups such as this though I do think this is a stand alone group compared with most.
My critical thinking from gaming and the amazing friends I have made along the way, its mine and I am so grateful for it.
I am grateful to so much from what life has taught me and I have taught me yet I am still not full.
I know I have knowledge in abundance with life today as it is, and its mine to pick up and find all the answers I wish to find.....perhaps?
But its not real and its not who I am today and this is now a big problem truly being, as in society I look and sound like the very aliens we manifest and make up.
So I am at a selfishly loving crossroads in my growth, as within me I know I need to seperate from the flock (I am not here to be saved) and really test me who who i am by letting go of all the safety nets of modern life and just go....
What is letting go for me?
Well being part and relying on money mainly, I am sick to death of feeling like the product of money and how it dictates ones peace and without a home, job or bills
I am sick of the teachings and followings and all those who claim to benefit me by supporting their lead.
And I am so sick of waiting for nothing when I can become the very nothing silently, everything is perfect and as its supposed to be, but I am not. And this is a hole inside me like a void that cannot be filled what man has to offer in terms of wealth.
Today i am closer to myself than ever and I do things in a manner I am proud of, and know I act accordingly mostly and rethink way too much but it helps........maybe lol
So what do I want.
Well, freedom like I have never felt here on this beautiful planet and no limits set by governments and pointless duties or working endlessly just to exist, rather just go do it. I see no reason for money and the chains society has placed upon me for being part of. I see no reason why I cannot just give it all up, and just go travel with a tent and truly be free and discover all my tools, until i am ready for my cyber ascension of sorts.
I know i am suffering and decaying by just following what is mainstream and know I dont need to be part of it. Today I value myself enough to much to sit on edge while I am blindly led.
I have become truly null in feeling towards so much and only truly feel peace when far away from the noise of life.
The flock have jesus, I have love for the teachings, works and words wrote They have all helped truly make me a better being. But i want save myself and ill deal with the consequences of my actions another time.
What i want is to seperate from the lie and discover my own truth, am I reckless or wasting time overthinking something that is going to break me into something more 😇
Thank you for reading and apologise for grammar 🙏