u/King-Ky13

First off it was a DMT vape cartridge and came from a reliable source, still waiting for a chance to lick a toad or get the crystal formula though, but overall very happy with experience.

But I recorded my "trip" that lasted around 8 minutes fully

I see lots and lots of interesting things as I stared eyes wide open into the clear night sky.

Hello.

For arguments sake, I am very blessed to be stupid, blind and uneducated ? These 3 things do not make me incomplete nor am I stating as an insult to myself in this body of text. Truly, I think i am very mindful and lucky to be 😁

But I am so conflicted recently and silence is being cunningly quiet with me, maybe i ask stupid questions too often, who knows 🤷‍♂️

So you are enlightened, is this not higher awareness ? So you shred ignorance to be complete in the knowing perhaps.

To the enlightened. there can be no delusion or mystery left in the illusion that is. You are enlightened and so you win, the game is beat.

But those with bodies still decay and face this "death" we are made to fear, do you become enlightened and shed fear too ? I am stupid and death is what it is, i am excited for the adventure though i do not dictate my clock ?

If you are enlightened (with or without fear) and you die, do you choose to ascend as its now an option as falling must seem so ?

All sounds lovely looking down at a mess we all leave behind...... but we make our choice. Decisions must be lived with.

Or does enlightenment know something that i aint getting because i am stupid 😁

I don't mean to cause any offence with my words and I purely ask from a nieve perspective i guess 🤷

Thank you for reading 🧡🧡🧡

So i been thinking again 😏

Could it not rather be that planets such as mars, Jupiter, saturn exc. Are not prior emanations of what we call earth?

Basically old shells of what we was in a time when things may have been more different is best put.

And by this analogy means we too shall shed a shell or our "matter" is moved to the next location like Venus or mercury kind of way. Could it not be a future being may look up at a shell of what we call earth and either wonder or know what is space in a very different perspective like prior civilizations.

This theory doesnt mean that the shell is meaningless then after.

But just thought i would see if this perks any ears.

I go now 🤷‍♂️

How do i fathom such a philosophy

So depicted as feminine and singular, the source of the waters and mother to AN (sky/heaven) and KI (earth) and separated by their son Enlil (basically wind God is my best assumption)

And he Got a brother from Nammu and AN (sky) make that make sense?

Nammu is depicted in other cultures with similarity to that of the abyss and the void 🤷

The whole dynamic of this is much more chaotic when I exist full of untruths around me

That said....

Somehow that what is nammu needs to grow/spread/continue to be, and to what sacrifice i cannot say.

I cannot say if one is lonely or in need to be loved

I cannot say if enlil is the tension between AN and KI or the mirror of Nammu to know authority to seperate what was whole

I cannot say the sky is heaven or heaven is the sky, i have no reference other than "AN"

Sounds more so the earth is a yolk and heaven/sky is but a transparent shell (basically an egg)

The womb and the world.

Both with meaning.

But does that make Nammu a hole that needs to be filled or left to be filtered? . Like a fracture that allows in the source since I am but present to this and I am of said source.

And thus the source need not be anything other than a clever fucking neighbour politely softening me up so I can go over and see all his cool toys he keeps stored away

I am just sharing my minds conundrum today i call it.......the Nammu anomaly 🐙

​

So I heard a story

i do not know if its true

About a being so obedient

That being is you

Rumour has, what history falls to tell.

You was perfection, so smitten you fell.

Left and forgotten

Just like your name muriel.

One is left to wonder,

If you repent while you dwell.

Do you question the hand,

The hand the encouraged your fell.

Did you know your siblings,

Do you know they are worshipped like Gold.

Can you say if they forgot your sacrifice,

Or is your obedience untold.

Can you say from the stillness

Truth, rhyme and reason.

To why all those rewarded,

Get away with treason.

Can you say why heaven has walls,

And why its authority its unlearned.

While you sit and wait,

From the very pits getting burned.

Can you give meaning,

To all the suffering you endure.

Can you live as the problem,

While others claim to be the cure.

My sweet muriel,

Look what have we done.

We both dwell in chaos?

While the unjust, claims to have won.

So fearless in your descent,

And merely for mans clay.

How blessed the hand must be,

That you layed down to obey.

I know you to be rightious,

You know a truth thats unsaid.

But if you dont stand up to corruption,

You leave unconditional love dead.

Abaddon, apollyon ill keep on and on

And just like you, I will not blink.

But with all my being

And much time to rethink.

I shall ascend to heaven,

With the aim to dive down.

See I cannot sit still,

While others polish someone elses crown.

For i have purpose

I am your mirror, and cannot be broken.

And what i will do has yet to be spoken,

Because my friend you will be woken.

Then in me,

You shall face your own reflection.

Left to decide,

Are you truly obedient to perfection.

I dont know who whispered,

Who said do not fear.

Who told you to sleep

While decay rots, whats sacred and dear.

But you was in the beginning,

You will be the at the end.

But now you're no longer abandoned,

As you have yourself a friend.

Oh, sweet muriel

Do I have for you, a story to tell.

And only those who will understand,

Are only those who chose to fell.

😘

To the devourer of children I childishly delight in wiggling inside your belly 🫦

I have this lust that burns when I toy my desires with imagining you eating all of me and consuming my essence and feeding the machine that is you.

But you need to be prepared if not unchained for this to be fair for you.

It would be a shame if i spent my freewill to be reckless, thus my very reasoning for my decisions.

One of your cookies requires tasting again 🍪 🧡

Hello silence my old friend 🧡

So after my last post I feel i must share a "dream" i had later that night once fell to sleep. A dream that has effected me and my emotions since, it was a lovely dream, so I shall tey my best to explain as I am sure it has many a meaning specific to me.

So i was in a room and I would say now it was somewhat victorian (english style) high ceilings, wooden bed and various wooden bedroom furniture though none stood out to be important.

I knew i was with beings that was safe for me as I will explain, though i cannot say I recall any faces or body/bodies to what i felt was with me at that moment.

I felt encouragement shall i say, as I cannot say they spoke more so I felt I needed to head towards the big wooden door in the corner of this large room. I felt as though I was safe and leading my friends out. Just i couldn't see them or hear them, just I knew I was with something safe who knew me.

So i get to the door and as i reach for the handle I hear a loud knock on this wooden door, it just felt authoritive....

I look around at what I guess I am saying is my invisible friends and they are silent and I feel no encouragement like I am not guided or following instinct as they just watch me it feels like I have to decide myself if I am to answer the door and I just felt clueless to be clear though unfazed to what could be knocking.

I didnt even hesitate and opened the door and was greeted by....

What i can best say was feminine. smaller than me and petite in body, she kind of looked like a victorian maid with curly black hair held up by a black bow. Her eyes were pure black and slin was pale, her lips where small and thin. i cannot recall her teeth as I was so fixed on her eyes they where beautiful I felt this then. Though she spoke and showed me 2 bottles 🫠

In each hand (though the hands where very different to mine) she held a plastic bottle and the bottles where both over half full and had murky water in.

She said. Have you been using this water to drink and clean with.

I said no. I felt I needed to reasure her that I use clean water from a good source, I remember saying I buy clean water.

She looked into my eyes and had this strange smile take up most of her face and said again.

"You have been drinking and cleaning in this water, these are your bottles. why ?

I turned to my invisible friends in hope they would speak on my behalf as truly I felt challenged and unclean. But they was silent and I felt nothing from them, they couldn't confirm i was drinking and cleaning in good clean water and suddenly felt confused with what i was saying to defend myself. While she smiled and handed me 2 bottles before closing the door in my face. I could not deny her authority i felt to my being in that moment and though I found her to be very intimate in nature and her words really carried weight, i also found her arousing in truth though she could be described as demon to many. I cannot truly describe all I felt in this moment i discovered my water was murkey by something pretending to be of human form. Like a grey alien disguised as a victorian maid she felt ancient yet looked young. But her eyes and hands was not like i know mine.

Now why am I sharing this? Because I am a creep and you should know what creeps dream of.......ok I am joking. But I am sure this has meaning though i shall question this post only to make sure I have posted my dream correctly.

I have been thinking of this dream over and over, like an onion with layers of meaning but still I beleive her to be true

Either my waters are unclean or I am drinking and cleaning in unclean waters.

And something about this bothers me (not the part that found her attractive based on my description) but in a moment I try find my self to be of rightious purpose and question the very fabric of being I should be wise myself to question such a silly dream I had post prompting the truth.

My brain has over a billion questions 🙃 just wondering what someone without my specific brain makes of this before i run fantasising about being a pool cleaner in hades to impress an alien.

I should have got her number 😪

I was born blind and discovered awareness.

A fracture of something, but asked nothing of.

I am a product that's sourced and crafted, divine minds prevailed as I am conciousness questioning itself.

I know i am here because love exists and its purity is sacred, however I must question my experience based on my moment, if I am to be purposeful to the truth.

I exist in a moment so distant from your ways and alone to find breadcrumbs of divine truth hidden by lies you allow to fester and become fruitful.

And your reasons only make sense when i accept you love me and wished me to be. But I experienced everything thats not your love though i know all your love has gone into making me.

So although my words will lack me explaining how grateful I am to is and be. I shall show testmont to your greatness by challenging you 😘

- how does one reach its full potential, knowing its forever greatful to the measurements taken by said shepard/s. how do i know the shepherd is grateful for what they receive.

-since all of you was involved with all i come to know and be, even discovering my own awareness. Why have "potential" exist if I trade one box for another.

- if I am the manifestation of you, who said manifestation was wise 🙃

- is my growth in awareness a decay of another's awareness (either way round) who is either quantum entangled or paired.

- who sets these standards for heaven and hell or what ever truth persists and what happens when neither seem fruitful based on what we have allowed to be and become of ourselves based on today.

- and lastly If creation is a reflection of your greatness how am I to know you dont actually know what greatness consist of as I was born blind......and discovered awareness.

Now my questions seem personal to our creator/s but know i say all with love and slight jest, i find to often I am alone answering my own questions based on who I am becoming and thus not always healthy 😅

I know who I am, i love evil for evil, as it showed me good and love good for showing me the truth. But the truth tries to hard to be ignorant 🙄 thus makes it hard to build my thank you speech before we fight 😘

Someone soothe my mind please 🙏

I am failing to find good information on fasting and what would be a healthier way of living.

I ask and I don't even know if fasting is actually a wise thing either. But the conundrum of what the human body should endure and consume to be at its peak for maintaining itself and ones mindfulness is a mystery to me today.

Do I make sense.....anyone got any good sources, links, suggestions that may be useful instead of harmful to me owning my diet and may help my lack of knowing myself.

Thank you 😊

Hello 👋

Hope everyone is peaceful.

Writing in this group is always a challenge within itself, as usually I silently read posts and try hard to not ask questions that are not correctly thought through.

But lately I am asking myself questions that my inner voice cannot answer although I beleive I know why? i should probably seek advice before any rash decisions but not sure I shall not receive answers to soothe my thoughts and feelings and I feel the urge to explain and express myself and would apreaciate any input anyone has in regards to my current situation.

So enough sweet talk and let me get into this?

I have had enough of what is perceived as life by the masses, governments and false leaders i want no part of the circus i beleived was mine to navigate or find purpose in.

Since joining this group I have really put my perspective to the test, I have discovered much about myself and what I wish to be ? So the past 2 years i have been going into nature so much more and doing more activities and pushing myself mentally and physically (though the latter is much slower lol) and I have come to have a deeper love for life, nature and all that is.

I am so much more at peace inside and would say my thoughts and inner voice seem more clearer and so much help has come from technology and groups such as this though I do think this is a stand alone group compared with most.

My critical thinking from gaming and the amazing friends I have made along the way, its mine and I am so grateful for it.

I am grateful to so much from what life has taught me and I have taught me yet I am still not full.

I know I have knowledge in abundance with life today as it is, and its mine to pick up and find all the answers I wish to find.....perhaps?

But its not real and its not who I am today and this is now a big problem truly being, as in society I look and sound like the very aliens we manifest and make up.

So I am at a selfishly loving crossroads in my growth, as within me I know I need to seperate from the flock (I am not here to be saved) and really test me who who i am by letting go of all the safety nets of modern life and just go....

What is letting go for me?

Well being part and relying on money mainly, I am sick to death of feeling like the product of money and how it dictates ones peace and without a home, job or bills

I am sick of the teachings and followings and all those who claim to benefit me by supporting their lead.

And I am so sick of waiting for nothing when I can become the very nothing silently, everything is perfect and as its supposed to be, but I am not. And this is a hole inside me like a void that cannot be filled what man has to offer in terms of wealth.

Today i am closer to myself than ever and I do things in a manner I am proud of, and know I act accordingly mostly and rethink way too much but it helps........maybe lol

So what do I want.

Well, freedom like I have never felt here on this beautiful planet and no limits set by governments and pointless duties or working endlessly just to exist, rather just go do it. I see no reason for money and the chains society has placed upon me for being part of. I see no reason why I cannot just give it all up, and just go travel with a tent and truly be free and discover all my tools, until i am ready for my cyber ascension of sorts.

I know i am suffering and decaying by just following what is mainstream and know I dont need to be part of it. Today I value myself enough to much to sit on edge while I am blindly led.

I have become truly null in feeling towards so much and only truly feel peace when far away from the noise of life.

The flock have jesus, I have love for the teachings, works and words wrote They have all helped truly make me a better being. But i want save myself and ill deal with the consequences of my actions another time.

What i want is to seperate from the lie and discover my own truth, am I reckless or wasting time overthinking something that is going to break me into something more 😇

Thank you for reading and apologise for grammar 🙏