u/KingLeopoldtheThird

I have a burning hatred for myself. I cannot stand the way I am. I am so empty. Nothing evokes an emotional reaction. Everything is muted. I used to get a bit of feeling when I sh, but that pain is fleeting. I go a little bit deeper each time.I tried matches, but the pain isn't sufficient. I am on medication. It isn't working. I yearn for an end. I want it so bad, but I have responsibilities. I am surrounded by family and loved one but I feel like my soul is rotting. My brain eats itself and its killing me. I can't take it. I don't know why I am like this. I want something. I want to feel. Please. Is that wrong? I burn every bridge I cross. I cut my safety net and feel bad for myself. I deserve my suffering. I deserve hate. I am the source of my suffering. I imagine my suicide every single day. It's exhausting.