Was coming to pick up my Toyota from this small shop when I saw this car next to mine getting some work done as well, couldn't believe how rare it was after looking it up, this was a tiny shop in the suburbs of my city.
We've Been together 4 years and both living in my apartment for 3 years, I've been trying my best to be a supportive partner, she's not in her home country so sometimes she struggles with paperwork and bureaucracy, she understands the language pretty well but not fully fluent.
lately she has been really sick, I've taking care of her from morning to evening, cooking,morally supporting, buying medecines, paid for doctors, changing sheets, cleaning vomit ecc... I did it to be supportive without ever complaining. After 10days of this I drove to the ER in the middle of the night, waited 5h together , when she got accepted I visited her everyday the entire duration of visiting hours, brought her everything she needed, brought and bought things I thought would make her feel better, change of clothes, towels everyday, foods ecc...
However she's been complaining now that when she was sick in the morning sometimes I was sleepy and didn't come to see her straight away, I was so physically exhausted from taking care of everything honestly and just have heavy sleep.
She also carelessly let her health insurance expire, I told her that I hoped she won't get a huge hospital bill (luckily the state paid for everything) but she was really mad at me for saying that instead of making her "feel safe" that I would pay for her medical bill.
After getting better she had to do a checkup, I went with her to be supportive, I held her hand, helped her figuring out where to go, who to talk to, which documents to give to the desk, translating, waiting patiently, reassuring her, trying my best to be morally supportive that everything will be okay, always asking her if she needs anything. And again she got upset at me lately because apparently when we went there I wasn't helpful enough, I should have been a real man
talking to the staff directly for her and taking care of her papers myself and pushing to pay instead of letting her, she says I was physically there but emotionally absent, that I'm not a supportive partner. I really hurts me because I'm really trying my best. Im supposed to take the initiative to help instead of asking if she needs it.
There are so many examples like this, I'm so burned out at this point, I'm trying so hard to be a supportive partner, I don't complain, I'm really patient and try really hard to adapt to everything she asks me, but whatever I do it's never enough, its always a few weeks later when I think everything is fine that she unleashes everything I did wrong and does it with intense emotions, crying, intense conversations, so I'm always anxious of not doing enough and trying to think 3 steps ahead to avoid a backlash but there is always something I didn't do well enough it seems and its making me feel worthless.
Do you think I'm genuinely disconnected from reality at this point and I should really do more or is she extremely demanding?