u/King_Bean23

The king is nervous. He doesn't want to reveal himself, for he is embarrassed. Yet he is brave. He wears all the colors, not afraid anymore to wear wtf he wants. He drives through Hinton everyday to go to work, so ofc he probably saw you once or twice. Today was different. He went to the water, to clear his mind. Splashing himself with the cold river, to get his mind off things and do things he likes. Coming up the hill, there was a new car. W a young lady in it. Just sitting. When he pulled out of that parking lot, you left. I dont wanna say it was you, but i def saw Erica. That was crazy. In front of route 3, the king thinks he heard the Sea. Staring, longing, hoping she would turn to him. She didn't. He felt cold. Watter dripping down his spine, he chose to not bother you. He no longer uses socials except snap and reddit. He enjoys swimming and driving and singing and music and being out in nature. He enjoys having people who care for him around, yet has noone. Crying, trying, scrying, buying, prying, sighing, denying. He's only human. He's worked so hard to be better. He works at fedex. He technically has his own place; but embarrassed to tell you. He's getting his car. He has a good credit and phone number. He owns his switch 2. Willow is still around too. Life hasn't felt the same since we went our separate ways. The connection and energy between us was easy; until it wasn't. And im sorry. But id hate myself so fucking much for the rest of my life if I didn't try to reach out to the void. Mentally, physically, he has grown. Too smart for his own, he tries to continue doing it alone. He's done good so far, but feels like he's being smacked w rebar. Ive never felt the same. Feelings away; for anyone but you. He's dropped a lot of burdens, things to heavy for one person to carry. Brought the good, and continues fighting. His resolve. His Neverending fight to continue taking life by the fucking throat and make the most out of it he can. He's sorry for the way he treated you; he has realized long ago. I dont have access to anything with you, but if you want me to contact you, look at your messages. I reached out, called, left a voicemail. Got no response. I defintely dont use instagram, that shit is a sham. Facebook? Im not a looker. I dont want to see what life is without you.The king is now a King, just humble, steady, and consistent. Showing up when things are hard. When things look dark. Ive pushed through and never gave up. Because I couldn't take the way I treated you. If you want a message or a call, unlock the door and let yourself fall. I won't ever let u doubt again, because my love for you won't ever end. No desperation because if youre happy, thats what i want. You to be happy. You deserve it. I will try again tonight, at the stroke of the daylight dying. Ill give you a call. For my heart hasnt fall;en for anyone else. Ik u saw me at that hotel. Ive never felt this way before; pls contact me before it's all over and we're sick and tired of this energy between us I can't take it anymore thinking ive seen you. But im happy too. And I want you to be happy with me. Even if that's means I gotta shoulder the world just to get a taste of the Sea again. Im sorry it's taken so long. I dont wanna ruin your peace. But today im sorry. Im gonna. I need to know if you feel this.