"Da plan iz simple. We paint ourselves blue, we krump da blue gitz, den we win. WAAAGH!" — Gultrash, right before his entire army charged in the wrong direction

Name: Gultrash, called "da Unchangin'"

Ork Title: Da Biggest Most Unlucky Warboss Wot Keepz Winnin' Anyway

Clan: Da Blue Zoggerz

Clan Colour: Bright blue (hand-painted, trowel-painted, sometimes fist-painted)

Designated Enemies: Anyfing blue, Ultramarines first and foremost

Personal Weapons: A battered choppa and a basic rusty shoota

Da Clan : Da Blue Zoggerz

Da Blue Zoggerz are a mid-sized ork clan, known across several sectors for two fings : their blindingly bright blue paint, and their spectacular ability to botch absolutely everyfing they try to do wiv any kind of sophistication.

Their doctrine rests on one founding dogma, passed down by mouth for generations :

"Blue iz lucky. Blue gitz iz lucky. We iz blue. So we iz da luckiest. Da rest iz just details."

In practice, da details regularly include premature trakk explosions, Stompas fallin' on their own crew, flankin' manoeuvres that end at cliffs, and Squig tunnels that come back up inside their own camp.

Despite all dat, da Blue Zoggerz win — or at least survive — wiv an unsettling frequency. Wot others call bad luck, they call "da Big Blue Plan Wot Works In Da End".

How Gultrash Became Warboss

Before Gultrash, da Blue Zoggerz were led by Grukk Bonetoof, a classic Warboss — big, brutal, and dead convinced of his own tactical genius. He devised a fourteen-step plan to take the Ultramarine bastion of Korvath IV, involving three waves of disguised gretchins, a fake retreat, and a Stompa packed with burnas hidden inside a cave.

At step number two, da Stompa exploded inside da cave. Grukk was launched through three layers of rock, punched through an enemy fortress wall, and landed directly on top of the Ultramarine commander in the middle of a war council.

Da Ultramarines were so thrown off that their defensive line collapsed momentarily.

Grukk was dead. But da Blue Zoggerz had taken da bastion. There was no more Warboss.

Gultrash was at dat time just a boy among boyz — not da biggest, not da strongest, not da cleverest. He was mostly known for survivin' fings that should've killed him.

Da day Grukk died, Gultrash was lookin' for his shoota wot he'd dropped in da mud.

He found it right as a high-rankin' Nob — Vrakk Krizteef, favourite to take command — slipped in dat same mud, got his knee caught in an abandoned trakk gear, and ended up stuck, howlin', unable to get up.

Gultrash, shoota in hand, found himself standin' up, lookin' (accidentally) menacin', right over da only serious contender for da title of Warboss.

"'E set a trap for Vrakk ! Right in da mud-trap 'e laid !" someone shouted.

Gultrash opened his mouth to say it weren't like dat.

That is precisely when a stray Squig jumped on him, sendin' him tumblin' forward, both fists smashin' down onto Vrakk's helmet with a dull and final CLANG.

Da crowd roared.

Gultrash became Warboss of da Blue Zoggerz dat day, wivout havin' quite worked out how.

Command Philosophy

Gultrash plans. He plans a lot. He draws plans on Squig-skin with bits of burnt metal, involving pincer manoeuvres, simultaneous strikes, elaborate diversions, Meks working in coordination...

None of these plans ever work.

Wot does work, every single time, is da moment Gultrash gives up, sighs, grabs his choppa and his old shoota, and goes to sort da problem out himself — because everyfing else is on fire, stuck fast, dead, or gone in da wrong direction.

Da end result : da enemy is krumped, Gultrash is standin', and da Blue Zoggerz firmly believe dat "Da Boss 'ad it all planned. Da big plan woz to make us fink da small plan woz failin'."

Nobody has managed to explain to him dat it ain't like dat.

Da Blue Dogma

The clan's core belief is documented in da Grobblue Codeks, a Squig-skin scroll scrawled by a Warphead in a state of fungus brew intoxication :

"Blue iz da colour of da sky wot iz big and don't fall on us. Blue iz da sea where da boyz drown less often than we fink. Da Blue Gitz (da Ultramarines) iz always dere, always blue, always not dead yet — dey must be doin' somefing right. We krump dem and nick their luck."

In practice :

• All armour is painted blue. Paint quality varies. Enthusiasm does not.
• Ultramarines are da preferred target, as "dey got da most blue to nick"
• Any slain Ultramarine is theoretically "drained of 'is luck" — added to their collective luck reserve
• Non-blue enemies can be attacked if "dey iz in da way", but it counts for less

Da Sacred Blue List — Da Kodeks of Legit Targets

Da most precious document of da Blue Zoggerz is a strip of tanned Squig-skin, about two metres long, covered in blue paint splatters and successive annotations scrawled by generations of clan Warpheads.

Its official title is : "Da Sacred List of All Dem Wot Iz Blue Enuff To Krump And To Nick Their Luck".

Da boyz just call it "Da List".

It is carried on campaign by da clan's chief Warphead — Zikzak da Dazzled — in a blue leather case, and solemnly consulted before each engagement.

Ultramarines — "Da bluest of dem all. Da luckiest, therefore. Krumpin' dem iz an absolute priority." STATUS : MAXIMUM BLUE. KRUMPIN' MANDATORY.

Hive Fleet Tiamet — "We wasn't sure wot dey woz at first. Den we saw their colour woz blue-purple wiv purple bits. Da debate went on too long. Eventually Gultrash said : 'Is purple just blue wot went wrong ?' and everyone said yeah so dat woz dat." STATUS : DISPUTED BLUE BUT ACCEPTED. KRUMPIN' AUTHORISED.

Da Tau — This entry is longer than all the others, written in a particularly shaky and enthusiastic hand. It recounts "Da Great Discovery" :

>

STATUS : NATURAL BLUE. HIGH SPIRITUAL PRIORITY.

Craftworld Iyanden — "Their ship iz yellow wiv blue on it. Da yellow we don't care about. Da blue counts. Their armour iz often blue-green. Da green we don't care about. Da blue counts. Also dey iz already half-dead so dey got nuffin to lose and neither do we." STATUS : PARTIAL BLUE. KRUMPIN' AUTHORISED.

Craftworld Alaitoc — "Dese ones iz dark blue nearly black. A boy said it weren't really blue. Zikzak da Dazzled stared at him for a long time den said : 'If you iz in a dark place, iz blue not blue anymore ?' Da boy had no answer. So dark blue still counts." STATUS : DARK BLUE. VALIDATED BY FILOZOFIKAL DEBATE.

Da Deathskulls — "Dis woz a problem. Da Deathskulls iz orks. We don't normally krump orks. But dey iz BLUE. All blue. Really blue. After a long debate (and a scrap) Gultrash decided : We krump 'em if we get da chance. We nick their loot. We repaint wot is already blue over again for double luck. Da Deathskulls ain't happy about it. We don't care much." STATUS : CONFIRMED BLUE. OPPORTUNISTIC KRUMPIN'. FREQUENT SCRAPPIN'.

Da Thousand Sons — "Blue. Really blue. Wiv gold bits. Da gold we don't care about. Da blue counts. Da problem woz dat da first time we attacked 'em their shots went frough 12 boyz wizout stoppin'. Gultrash concluded dis meant dey had EVEN MORE luck. So dey need to be krumped HARDER to nick more." STATUS : MAGIC BLUE. DANGEROUS BUT PRIORITY TARGET.

DISPUTED — Da Night Lords — "Dark blue. Wiv lightning bolts. And skulls. Gultrash said da skulls made him nervous. Vote : 3 for, 3 against, Zikzak da Dazzled voted twice by accident. Result inconclusive."

DISPUTED — Da Nihilakh Dynasty (Necrons) — "Their gold ain't blue. BUT their energy iz blue. Zikzak argued dat if da blue came from da inside dat woz even better than paint. Da debate iz still ongoing after 6 years."

NOT BLUE — Space Wolves — "Grey. Not blue. But dey got wolves. Wolves ain't blue either. No luck to nick."

NOT BLUE — Blood Angels — "Red. Da opposite of blue. Krumped only if dey iz in da way."

NOT BLUE — Da Inquisition — "We don't even know wot colour dey iz properly. Mostly black. Not blue. But dey like to chase us so we krump 'em in self-defence."

Note by Warphead Zikzak da Dazzled, scrawled in da margin : "If you ain't sure : look if it iz blue. If it iz blue : krump it. If it ain't blue : look if Gultrash krumps it anyway. If Gultrash krumps it anyway : krump it."

Notable Battles

Da Battle of Vrindaal VII — "Da Zog of da Motorised Pompom" (851.M41) Result : Victory for da Blue Zoggerz

Gultrash had devised a nine-step plan involving a Gargant disguised as a hill, four squads of stormboyz dropped from an altitude deemed "roughly reasonable", and a coordination signal carried by a trained Squig-messenger.

Da Squig-messenger ate da message. Da stormboyz jumped too early and landed in their own camp. Da Gargant disguised as a hill was used as an artillery position by da Ultramarines for forty minutes before anyone noticed it was breathin'.

Gultrash, furious, abandoned da plan, grabbed his choppa, and charged alone toward da enemy lines while screaming.

Da boyz, interpreting dis as "da secret final step of da plan", all charged behind him in such an overwhelming wave of enthusiasm dat da Ultramarine line got literally trampled before it could fire.

"Yeah. Dat woz step nine. Obviously. It woz all planned." — Gultrash, catchin' his breath

Da Siege of Pallas Noctis — "Da Night Da Mek Tried Too 'Ard" (857.M41) Result : Victory for da Blue Zoggerz (unintentional)

To breach da walls of Pallas Noctis, Gultrash commissioned his chief Mek — Boltrok da AlmostCompetent — to build a timed Mega-Bomb to be placed under da foundations.

Boltrok built not one, but seventeen bombs, out of concern for "reliability", and planted all of them in a ring under da fortress.

Da countdown was supposed to last one hour. It lasted eleven seconds.

Da entire fortress lifted thirty metres into da air, rotated forty-five degrees, and came back down upside-down, burying da entirety of da Ultramarine garrison under three floors of inverted stone.

When da dust settled, Gultrash nodded slowly and said :

"Dat woz da plan. Boltrok done good. Kinda."

Boltrok had gone deaf from da explosion and didn't hear da compliment. He considers this an injustice.

Da Tharakan Pursuit — "We Said Blue Only" (862.M41) Result : Victory for da Blue Zoggerz / Diplomatic Incident

Da Blue Zoggerz had landed on Tharakan, a planet jointly held by Tau forces and an Ultramarine company passing through.

Gultrash had a twelve-step plan to destroy da Ultramarines while da Tau, "not blue enough to count", would be ignored.

At step three, a boy pointed out dat da Tau suits had "kind of bluish reflections in places" depending on da light.

Da theological debate dat followed in da ranks lasted forty minutes. By then da Ultramarines had pulled back.

Furious, Gultrash settled da question by chargin' at da Tau "just to check". Da verdict : "blue enough to count". Da Tau were defeated. Da Ultramarines took advantage of da confusion to leave.

Da Ultramarine report on da incident concluded : "The enemy appears to operate according to an incomprehensible engagement code based on chromatic criteria. Recommendation : repaint vehicles red."

They did not. On principle.

Da Battle of Skorreth Desert — "Gultrash vs Da Dreadnought" (869.M41) Result : Victory for da Blue Zoggerz / Gultrash slightly flattened

A Dreadnought had held a strategic corridor alone for six hours, throwing back wave after wave of boyz. Gultrash had sent in sequence : a horde of exploding Squigs (too small, went under it), a Stompa (fell in a ravine), three Nobz (launched in three different directions), and a remote-controlled Bomm-Trakk guided by a Gretchen (da Gretchen steered da bomb toward a snack he'd spotted in da enemy camp).

Gultrash sighed. Picked up his choppa. Ran at da Dreadnought.

Da Dreadnought hit him. Gultrash flew through da air, bounced off a rock, ricocheted off da Dreadnought's flank and tipped it over, leaving da machine stuck on its back, arms too short to push itself up.

Gultrash, slightly flattened, stood up, looked at da struggling Dreadnought, and shrugged.

"Dat woz da plan. I knew I'd bounce. I calculated da angle."

None of da boyz present knew wot "da angle" meant. They cheered anyway.

Da Hundred-Day Campaign of Morreth — "Da Time It All Worked" (874.M41) Result : Crushing victory / Gultrash deeply unsettled

This is da battle da Blue Zoggerz speak of least.

Gultrash had devised a plan. A simple plan. Four steps only. He explained it clearly. He checked everyone understood. He even drew a diagram.

Da plan unfolded exactly as described.

Da Ultramarines were caught in a pincer exactly where Gultrash had indicated. Da stormboyz landed in da right place. Da trakks arrived on time. Nobody exploded before da scheduled moment.

Total victory in four hours.

Gultrash didn't sleep for three days afterwards. He was convinced something terrible was about to happen in retaliation. He spent a week inspecting his choppa looking for wot had gone wrong.

Da boyz interpreted his agitation as "da Boss is already finkin' about da next battle".

Gultrash has never again made a four-step plan. "Too dangerous. It shouldn't work like dat."

Created for personal use — Warhammer 40,000 universe belongs to Games WorkshopGultrash da Unchangin' — Custom Warboss Lore
"Da plan iz simple. We paint ourselves blue, we krump da blue gitz, den we win. WAAAGH!"
— Gultrash, right before his entire army charged in the wrong direction

Name: Gultrash, called "da Unchangin'"
Ork Title: Da Biggest Most Unlucky Warboss Wot Keepz Winnin' Anyway
Clan: Da Blue Zoggerz
Clan Colour: Bright blue (hand-painted, trowel-painted, sometimes fist-painted)
Designated Enemies: Anyfing blue, Ultramarines first and foremost
Personal Weapons: A battered choppa and a basic rusty shoota

Da Clan : Da Blue Zoggerz
Da Blue Zoggerz are a mid-sized ork clan, known across several sectors for two fings : their blindingly bright blue paint, and their spectacular ability to botch absolutely everyfing they try to do wiv any kind of sophistication.
Their doctrine rests on one founding dogma, passed down by mouth for generations :
"Blue iz lucky. Blue gitz iz lucky. We iz blue. So we iz da luckiest. Da rest iz just details."
In practice, da details regularly include premature trakk explosions, Stompas fallin' on their own crew, flankin' manoeuvres that end at cliffs, and Squig tunnels that come back up inside their own camp.
Despite all dat, da Blue Zoggerz win — or at least survive — wiv an unsettling frequency. Wot others call bad luck, they call "da Big Blue Plan Wot Works In Da End".

How Gultrash Became Warboss
Before Gultrash, da Blue Zoggerz were led by Grukk Bonetoof, a classic Warboss — big, brutal, and dead convinced of his own tactical genius. He devised a fourteen-step plan to take the Ultramarine bastion of Korvath IV, involving three waves of disguised gretchins, a fake retreat, and a Stompa packed with burnas hidden inside a cave.
At step number two, da Stompa exploded inside da cave. Grukk was launched through three layers of rock, punched through an enemy fortress wall, and landed directly on top of the Ultramarine commander in the middle of a war council.
Da Ultramarines were so thrown off that their defensive line collapsed momentarily.
Grukk was dead. But da Blue Zoggerz had taken da bastion. There was no more Warboss.

Gultrash was at dat time just a boy among boyz — not da biggest, not da strongest, not da cleverest. He was mostly known for survivin' fings that should've killed him.
Da day Grukk died, Gultrash was lookin' for his shoota wot he'd dropped in da mud.
He found it right as a high-rankin' Nob — Vrakk Krizteef, favourite to take command — slipped in dat same mud, got his knee caught in an abandoned trakk gear, and ended up stuck, howlin', unable to get up.
Gultrash, shoota in hand, found himself standin' up, lookin' (accidentally) menacin', right over da only serious contender for da title of Warboss.
"'E set a trap for Vrakk ! Right in da mud-trap 'e laid !" someone shouted.
Gultrash opened his mouth to say it weren't like dat.
That is precisely when a stray Squig jumped on him, sendin' him tumblin' forward, both fists smashin' down onto Vrakk's helmet with a dull and final CLANG.
Da crowd roared.
Gultrash became Warboss of da Blue Zoggerz dat day, wivout havin' quite worked out how.

Command Philosophy
Gultrash plans. He plans a lot. He draws plans on Squig-skin with bits of burnt metal, involving pincer manoeuvres, simultaneous strikes, elaborate diversions, Meks working in coordination...
None of these plans ever work.
Wot does work, every single time, is da moment Gultrash gives up, sighs, grabs his choppa and his old shoota, and goes to sort da problem out himself — because everyfing else is on fire, stuck fast, dead, or gone in da wrong direction.
Da end result : da enemy is krumped, Gultrash is standin', and da Blue Zoggerz firmly believe dat "Da Boss 'ad it all planned. Da big plan woz to make us fink da small plan woz failin'."
Nobody has managed to explain to him dat it ain't like dat.

Da Blue Dogma
The clan's core belief is documented in da Grobblue Codeks, a Squig-skin scroll scrawled by a Warphead in a state of fungus brew intoxication :
"Blue iz da colour of da sky wot iz big and don't fall on us. Blue iz da sea where da boyz drown less often than we fink. Da Blue Gitz (da Ultramarines) iz always dere, always blue, always not dead yet — dey must be doin' somefing right. We krump dem and nick their luck."
In practice :
All armour is painted blue. Paint quality varies. Enthusiasm does not.
Ultramarines are da preferred target, as "dey got da most blue to nick"
Any slain Ultramarine is theoretically "drained of 'is luck" — added to their collective luck reserve
Non-blue enemies can be attacked if "dey iz in da way", but it counts for less

Da Sacred Blue List — Da Kodeks of Legit Targets
Da most precious document of da Blue Zoggerz is a strip of tanned Squig-skin, about two metres long, covered in blue paint splatters and successive annotations scrawled by generations of clan Warpheads.
Its official title is : "Da Sacred List of All Dem Wot Iz Blue Enuff To Krump And To Nick Their Luck".
Da boyz just call it "Da List".
It is carried on campaign by da clan's chief Warphead — Zikzak da Dazzled — in a blue leather case, and solemnly consulted before each engagement.

Ultramarines — "Da bluest of dem all. Da luckiest, therefore. Krumpin' dem iz an absolute priority."
STATUS : MAXIMUM BLUE. KRUMPIN' MANDATORY.

Hive Fleet Tiamet — "We wasn't sure wot dey woz at first. Den we saw their colour woz blue-purple wiv purple bits. Da debate went on too long. Eventually Gultrash said : 'Is purple just blue wot went wrong ?' and everyone said yeah so dat woz dat."
STATUS : DISPUTED BLUE BUT ACCEPTED. KRUMPIN' AUTHORISED.

Da Tau — This entry is longer than all the others, written in a particularly shaky and enthusiastic hand. It recounts "Da Great Discovery" :

During da Tharakan Campaign, after da boyz had argued for 40 minutes about whether Tau suits were blue enough, a boy named Grubba had an idea. He grabbed a Tau, ripped off its armour by force, and showed everyone wot woz underneath.

Da Tau had BLUE SKIN.

Naturally blue. No paint. No suit.

Dere woz a long silence.

Gultrash looked at da Tau. Da Tau looked at Gultrash. Gultrash turned to his boyz and said, in a voice full of reverence :

"Dey iz blue ON DA INSIDE."

From dat day forward, da Tau are considered da most Naturally Blue targets in da whole galaxy. Krumpin' dem allows stealin' luck dat comes directly from nature itself and not from paint. This is considered a spiritual bonus.

STATUS : NATURAL BLUE. HIGH SPIRITUAL PRIORITY.

Craftworld Iyanden — "Their ship iz yellow wiv blue on it. Da yellow we don't care about. Da blue counts. Their armour iz often blue-green. Da green we don't care about. Da blue counts. Also dey iz already half-dead so dey got nuffin to lose and neither do we."
STATUS : PARTIAL BLUE. KRUMPIN' AUTHORISED.

Craftworld Alaitoc — "Dese ones iz dark blue nearly black. A boy said it weren't really blue. Zikzak da Dazzled stared at him for a long time den said : 'If you iz in a dark place, iz blue not blue anymore ?' Da boy had no answer. So dark blue still counts."
STATUS : DARK BLUE. VALIDATED BY FILOZOFIKAL DEBATE.

Da Deathskulls — "Dis woz a problem. Da Deathskulls iz orks. We don't normally krump orks. But dey iz BLUE. All blue. Really blue. After a long debate (and a scrap) Gultrash decided : We krump 'em if we get da chance. We nick their loot. We repaint wot is already blue over again for double luck. Da Deathskulls ain't happy about it. We don't care much."
STATUS : CONFIRMED BLUE. OPPORTUNISTIC KRUMPIN'. FREQUENT SCRAPPIN'.

Da Thousand Sons — "Blue. Really blue. Wiv gold bits. Da gold we don't care about. Da blue counts. Da problem woz dat da first time we attacked 'em their shots went frough 12 boyz wizout stoppin'. Gultrash concluded dis meant dey had EVEN MORE luck. So dey need to be krumped HARDER to nick more."
STATUS : MAGIC BLUE. DANGEROUS BUT PRIORITY TARGET.

DISPUTED — Da Night Lords — "Dark blue. Wiv lightning bolts. And skulls. Gultrash said da skulls made him nervous. Vote : 3 for, 3 against, Zikzak da Dazzled voted twice by accident. Result inconclusive."
DISPUTED — Da Nihilakh Dynasty (Necrons) — "Their gold ain't blue. BUT their energy iz blue. Zikzak argued dat if da blue came from da inside dat woz even better than paint. Da debate iz still ongoing after 6 years."
NOT BLUE — Space Wolves — "Grey. Not blue. But dey got wolves. Wolves ain't blue either. No luck to nick."
NOT BLUE — Blood Angels — "Red. Da opposite of blue. Krumped only if dey iz in da way."
NOT BLUE — Da Inquisition — "We don't even know wot colour dey iz properly. Mostly black. Not blue. But dey like to chase us so we krump 'em in self-defence."

Note by Warphead Zikzak da Dazzled, scrawled in da margin :
"If you ain't sure : look if it iz blue. If it iz blue : krump it. If it ain't blue : look if Gultrash krumps it anyway. If Gultrash krumps it anyway : krump it."

Notable Battles

Da Battle of Vrindaal VII — "Da Zog of da Motorised Pompom" (851.M41)
Result : Victory for da Blue Zoggerz
Gultrash had devised a nine-step plan involving a Gargant disguised as a hill, four squads of stormboyz dropped from an altitude deemed "roughly reasonable", and a coordination signal carried by a trained Squig-messenger.
Da Squig-messenger ate da message. Da stormboyz jumped too early and landed in their own camp. Da Gargant disguised as a hill was used as an artillery position by da Ultramarines for forty minutes before anyone noticed it was breathin'.
Gultrash, furious, abandoned da plan, grabbed his choppa, and charged alone toward da enemy lines while screaming.
Da boyz, interpreting dis as "da secret final step of da plan", all charged behind him in such an overwhelming wave of enthusiasm dat da Ultramarine line got literally trampled before it could fire.
"Yeah. Dat woz step nine. Obviously. It woz all planned." — Gultrash, catchin' his breath

Da Siege of Pallas Noctis — "Da Night Da Mek Tried Too 'Ard" (857.M41)
Result : Victory for da Blue Zoggerz (unintentional)
To breach da walls of Pallas Noctis, Gultrash commissioned his chief Mek — Boltrok da AlmostCompetent — to build a timed Mega-Bomb to be placed under da foundations.
Boltrok built not one, but seventeen bombs, out of concern for "reliability", and planted all of them in a ring under da fortress.
Da countdown was supposed to last one hour. It lasted eleven seconds.
Da entire fortress lifted thirty metres into da air, rotated forty-five degrees, and came back down upside-down, burying da entirety of da Ultramarine garrison under three floors of inverted stone.
When da dust settled, Gultrash nodded slowly and said :
"Dat woz da plan. Boltrok done good. Kinda."
Boltrok had gone deaf from da explosion and didn't hear da compliment. He considers this an injustice.

Da Tharakan Pursuit — "We Said Blue Only" (862.M41)
Result : Victory for da Blue Zoggerz / Diplomatic Incident
Da Blue Zoggerz had landed on Tharakan, a planet jointly held by Tau forces and an Ultramarine company passing through.
Gultrash had a twelve-step plan to destroy da Ultramarines while da Tau, "not blue enough to count", would be ignored.
At step three, a boy pointed out dat da Tau suits had "kind of bluish reflections in places" depending on da light.
Da theological debate dat followed in da ranks lasted forty minutes. By then da Ultramarines had pulled back.
Furious, Gultrash settled da question by chargin' at da Tau "just to check". Da verdict : "blue enough to count". Da Tau were defeated. Da Ultramarines took advantage of da confusion to leave.
Da Ultramarine report on da incident concluded : "The enemy appears to operate according to an incomprehensible engagement code based on chromatic criteria. Recommendation : repaint vehicles red."
They did not. On principle.

Da Battle of Skorreth Desert — "Gultrash vs Da Dreadnought" (869.M41)
Result : Victory for da Blue Zoggerz / Gultrash slightly flattened
A Dreadnought had held a strategic corridor alone for six hours, throwing back wave after wave of boyz. Gultrash had sent in sequence : a horde of exploding Squigs (too small, went under it), a Stompa (fell in a ravine), three Nobz (launched in three different directions), and a remote-controlled Bomm-Trakk guided by a Gretchen (da Gretchen steered da bomb toward a snack he'd spotted in da enemy camp).
Gultrash sighed. Picked up his choppa. Ran at da Dreadnought.
Da Dreadnought hit him. Gultrash flew through da air, bounced off a rock, ricocheted off da Dreadnought's flank and tipped it over, leaving da machine stuck on its back, arms too short to push itself up.
Gultrash, slightly flattened, stood up, looked at da struggling Dreadnought, and shrugged.
"Dat woz da plan. I knew I'd bounce. I calculated da angle."
None of da boyz present knew wot "da angle" meant. They cheered anyway.

Da Hundred-Day Campaign of Morreth — "Da Time It All Worked" (874.M41)
Result : Crushing victory / Gultrash deeply unsettled
This is da battle da Blue Zoggerz speak of least.
Gultrash had devised a plan. A simple plan. Four steps only. He explained it clearly. He checked everyone understood. He even drew a diagram.
Da plan unfolded exactly as described.
Da Ultramarines were caught in a pincer exactly where Gultrash had indicated. Da stormboyz landed in da right place. Da trakks arrived on time. Nobody exploded before da scheduled moment.
Total victory in four hours.
Gultrash didn't sleep for three days afterwards. He was convinced something terrible was about to happen in retaliation. He spent a week inspecting his choppa looking for wot had gone wrong.
Da boyz interpreted his agitation as "da Boss is already finkin' about da next battle".
Gultrash has never again made a four-step plan. "Too dangerous. It shouldn't work like dat."

Created for personal use — Warhammer 40,000 universe belongs to Games Workshop