Hi everyone, this is a long post but I’d really appreciate if you take the time to read it because I genuinely need some advice and opinions. Did i do her wrong?
I met this girl a few years ago through her boyfriend, who is one of my close friends. He introduced her to our friend group, and somehow me and her instantly clicked. We even ended up working together, so we saw each other almost every day. She’s super friendly, easy to talk to, and we had the same humor. We hung out all the time, and I genuinely loved her as a friend. She cared about me, always showed up for me, and I did the same for her. Our boyfriends were close too, so we all hung out as couples a lot.
The problem started when I found out she had been cheating on her bf with our coworker for 4–5 months. What hurt me even more was realizing she had lied to me about a lot of other things , not just the cheating, but small things too, like another job she had. There were also times when her boyfriend got suspicious of her, and she would use my name to cover for herself.It felt like she had a whole different personality , a new person behind my back.
I found out by accident because the coworker opened up to me, and he didn’t even know she had a boyfriend of 3+ years. He was shocked when I told him.
I confronted her. Even though her boyfriend is my friend, I never told him about the cheating because I wanted to give her the chance to do the right thing herself. During the confrontation, she tried lying to my face until I showed her proof. Then she admitted it. I told her I wasn’t going to expose her, but she needed to tell her boyfriend because he deserved the truth.
The last time we talked, she came over to my place. She said she cut the coworker off, that her boyfriend was the love of her life, and she couldn’t lose him. I told her people make mistakes, but I also said I can support her as a friend without supporting wrongdoing.
She told me she always felt a boundary between us because at the end of the day, I was “her boyfriend’s friend,” and she said I would judge her for everything. The statement hurt me. I told her I wanted her to feel comfortable with me and that I cared about her no matter what. I never pressured her into choosing her bf over the guy she cheated. I gave advice to make the right decision and she made the decision of choosing her boyfriend by herself. And then We hugged, made plans to hang out three days later, and everything seemed okay.
After that… she slowly disappeared. I texted her about an internship I referred her for. No reply. The day we were supposed to hang out came, and she ignored me completely. She had also asked me to take her to the airport that Friday, but when I checked in, she just said she didn’t need the ride anymore. That was basically the end.
I kept reacting to her posts, trying to keep the friendship alive, but she gave me nothing back. One day I had an terrible eye abrasion and sent her a snap, and she didn’t even ask what happened. That’s when I realized I needed to stop trying.
I loved her to death as a friend. Losing her genuinely broke my heart. I cried so much over this that I couldn’t even focus at work because all I could think about was losing my best friend.
It’s been over a month now, and she still hasn’t contacted me. I think what hurts the most is not even the friendship ending it’s never getting an explanation. I don’t understand how someone who meant so much to me could just walk away like I meant nothing. Maybe she never felt the same way about me that I felt about her.