Need some solidarity on post-divorce neurodivergent life.
My pending ex-husband turned out to be a narcissist who abandoned me and our kids. I was a SAHM. It also turns out our eldest son (we have two kids) has autism with PDA, and odds are I am also autistic. I feel like I’m never going to get chill out or live a normal, happy life. I’m now working entry-level while my ex is breaking our court orders left and right. He doesn’t give a shit, hates and neglects the kids, avoids taking them, is actively cruel to me even in Our Family Wizard. I’ve reported every incident to mandated early interventionists and my therapist, plus the kids’ pediatrician as needed.
We were together literally every day for 13 years, save two calendar days. He kept that mask on every single *day*. He never had bouts of rage, never cussed me out or put me down in any meaningful way—I would have left him. Hell, I DID leave people like that. But he waited just long enough to babytrap me and abandon us, all because he was cheating with his employee (who also blew up her marriage and has kids, by the way). He’s told me nobody will ever want me given my situation. I know it’s all about control to him, that I’m a possession in his mind. I feel like he enslaved me.
Will I ever get out of this? I feel like he’s a curse that’s going to haunt me for the rest of my life. Even after the kids turn 18, there’s no guarantee he won’t stalk me. They’re both toddlers and I just turned 40. I feel like I’ll never have a life again, just the way he wanted.
To be clear, my kids are awesome and I love them dearly. It’s just that my elder son is frazzling my nervous system at a time when I really need to be able to heal, and he needs me to be there for him and I feel like I’m falling short for him constantly. I could use some words of encouragement, please.