How do you know?
I came out as nonbinary (27) about a year ago. I was born AFAB, and had grown up around my family who really cared about looks. My mom always did her make up and dressed her best 24/7. My dad at an early age encouraged me to wear make up and said I was lucky he was telling me to wear make up.
I rebelled and didn’t want to wear any. I still don’t. I don’t wear bras unless around work or people I deem I have to wear a bra around. I don’t shave my legs because I like my leg hair. I rarely shave my pits too.
Lately I’ve been thinking what it would be like to be a man. How I wish I could be a guy and just be one of the bros with a big group of friends. I want to have muscles like a man. To be treated as man. I hate the way I am treated as a woman. I go to certain stores and men will not look at me, they won’t even help me even though they work there. As if my breasts and image indicate I am unworthy of being addressed. I’ve always been very blunt and wanted to hang with the guys, but I don’t know if I actually want to be trans. I’m jealous of the brotherhood of the boys will be boys but I’m older now and I don’t have any friends so even if I transition it’s not like I will get this brotherhood I’m looking for. I still struggle with connecting with others.
I don’t want more body hair. I’ve heard being a man in this world is super depressing too and idk if I can handle that. I would lose my current partner. I’m not sure if I want any kind of surgery. Or to go on testosterone. I’ve considered it but am unsure. All my life I was afraid of being seen as too manly because I didn’t follow female social norms and now I question things and am unsure if I would want to be a man or woman. Or if I should just stay as non binary.
Any advice or feedback would be helpful thank you.