u/Kirinprincess — reddlx

I've been in a poly relationship for 8 months. She's partnered with 1 other person who I am also going to pursue dating. Things have been going really well!

However she has started seeing a new person and I'm not super happy with how she's handling it.

First of all, I need to make it clear that it isn't a jealousy issue. I'm very happy for her and I hope she has a successful and fulfilling relationship with this person.

The thing that is bothering me is how she keeps making comparisons and seems to be neglecting me almost immediately.

She's an animator, and she and I have talked about fun ideas for little music videos that feature our characters in them. We have an album that we were both intimate to for the first time and the songs in it are often a topic of these made up animations. They're special to me in regards to our relationship.

Last night she was gushing about her new relationship, and I was happy to listen and congratulate her up until she said that she started story boarding her and her new partner in one of the songs that is on that album, the one that I would say is "our song". I didn't expect it, but it really hurt my feelings. I told her it did right there, but I also reiterated that I was happy for her and supportive. It was really important to me that she knew that, cus she's had partners in the past who have not handled poly well.

The next thing is that she keeps comparing me to her partner while we're intimate. She'll say "you get to keep me while X only gets me as a sometimes treat " and I get the sentiment, but I don't want our relationship to like, be in that context? I just want it to be valued on its own. I don't want her to feel like she needs to diminish her other partners to make me feel more secure. It just makes me feel weird.

One more thing is that we were supposed to have 1 on 1 time that evening and she completely forgot. Compounded with the previous things, it made me upset.

So, what do you guys think? Am I actually being jealous? Am I overreacting?