Context:
I was in a somewhat minor accident (head first over handlebars of my Ebike) and landed head first on the pavement losing consciousness and had a minor brain bleed. Yes, I was wearing a helmet that took a huge brunt of the impact. I had retro grade amnesia for about 6-8 hours after the accident and was asking the same questions in the same tone every 30 seconds or so (bless my fiance for being a good sport about answering me over and over for those hours).
Doctors said I hit directly where the memory portion of my brain and that I should see some memory issues but should be fine in time. 🤔 I call BS.
Current:
Nearly 1 year later I am left with some of the most horrible depression because of my memory issues.
Prior to the accident I was a professional digital artist, amazing memory retention, imagination creation, audio memory, etc. I could remember an image and recreate it without much issue at all.
After the accident, I lost it all. While I can still draw I cannot do it from memory. I cannot remember audio or voices. I can barely remember most of my life prior to like 10ish years ago. The struggles are impossibly hard to deal with and I spend most my time hating myself for not being able to remember.
Explaining these things to my fiance is a struggle. He is so supportive and amazing, trying to help me through the issues I have now. It's just hard to express the inner struggle I have with everything. Mostly my ability to retain memories now.
Is it normal to have lost so much memory after something like this? My Dr's said I should be fine and memory should come back, or at least mostly. But I am starting to think they're just trying to make me feel better at this point instead of addressing the more pressing issue of is this permanent?
Maybe I'm downplaying the severity of my accident. idk. I'm so lost at this point.