my ex ruined love for me.
Hi, I’m 18m and dated a 19f for 2 years. I loved her with everything I ever had to love. We met online and were only online, but that didn’t stop us from being everything. I loved her with my entire soul and planned on meeting her IRL someday. But her parents broke us up after they found out. And I thought I would be okay, and that I’d move on someday.
Then she reached out. We started talking again 6 months ago and texted for hours, then days, then months. I loved her, and she told me that she loved me. Every night we called, and all day we texted in secret. But one day she told me she couldn’t do it anymore. She loved me but had to let me go. Then she unadded me everywhere. The last thing she said was, “I love you. I always will.”
I haven’t been the same since. I tried to move on and see someone else, but no one has ever made me feel as lucky and happy as she did. She made me feel like I mattered, but I lost it all in one night. I haven’t slept right or eaten right since. I’ve been a shell of who I once was without the person who meant everything to me.
It got to her even worse than it got to me somehow, with her self-harm. I’ve seen all of it. She was destroyed by it. And now I feel like I can’t love the way I loved her because no one is ever going to be even a fraction of who she was to me. And I can’t escape it.