AITA for not forgiving my mom for outing my girlfriend?
I (18f) have been out as a lesbian to friends for a little over a year and have been dating my girlfriend, Beth (16f) for about that same time. For context, my mom (50f) is married to my father (53m) who is a pastor in the Christian church. Growing up, I was raised to believe that being gay was a sin and that gay people were confused and giving into temptation. So when I began dating Beth in May of 2025, I did not disclose this information to my mom for obvious reasons.
She has always been overprotective and invasive of my privacy, but usually I was able to overlook it as my father was emotionally and verbally abu$ive very plainly, and so I placed her on a pedestal and thought of her as my best friend, even when she started using me as a therapist for her and my father's relationship issues. Though these things had strained our relationship in the past, I always considered her one of my best, if not my best, friends. I told her so much, and we spent lots of happy times together.
About four months into Beth and I's relationship, my mom took my phone. Being 17 at the time, I couldn't refuse her and knew she would find either Beth and I's texts and/or our pictures. To no surprise, about an hour she called me into her room, where I found her sobbing, tissues all over the floor. She was upset about my not telling her about the relationship (which I understood), but then she began to make homophobic comments, even telling me that "one day I might marry a man". She promptly confiscated all ways of communication from me and forbade me from seeing Beth at school.
Obviously, I continued to see Beth at school, and I did not hide that from her- she just never ask. For about two weeks, she ignored me almost completely. Then, she began lashing out. Every day when I came home from school was like hell- she accused me of having intercourse at school, in our house, doing drugs, and other similar things. While all of this hurt, I love Beth so it was worth it. But then my mom forced Beth to either come out to her parents or my mom was going to tell them.
I'll skip ahead for times sake. Beth came out to her parents, its been about seven months since all of this occurred. Slowly, my mom seemed to be getting more accepting and in particular trusting towards Beth and myself. But recently, her attitude has once again taken a turn for the worse, becoming significantly more passive agressive and she pretends like Beth and I are just friends. Often, she makes comments that she "doesn't feel like I like her" anymore. This is true- I have tried to forgive her, but my home is not a safe place for me to come back to. I by no means am trying to cut her off, she is not all bad, but I feel so overwhelmed with nearly daily arguments about how I "don't treat her the same". I've given her so much patience, but it's getting to a point where my anxiety around her treatment of me is becoming debilitating.
AITA?