u/Kitchen-Remote-2999

ok so i’ve been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year and something happened recently that completely changed the way her family treats me.

When I first met them, they were polite but cold. Her dad barely acknowledged me, her mom constantly made little comments about me “figuring things out career-wise,” and her older sister openly joked that my girlfriend usually dated “more established guys.”

For context, I work in film production. The hours are weird and unless you’re in the industry, it probably just sounds like I’m freelancing with no stability.

I honestly tried hard with them anyway. Helped set up family events, drove her grandparents to appointments once, bought thoughtful gifts, all that stuff. Still always felt like I was being quietly evaluated.

Then last month everything changed literally overnight.

Her dad suddenly starts inviting me golfing. Her mom keeps telling relatives how “driven” I am. Her sister added me on LinkedIn out of nowhere and started asking questions about networking.

I couldn’t figure out what happened until my girlfriend accidentally let it slip during an argument.

Apparently her parents recently found out my dad owns a pretty successful construction company and my mom is a surgeon.

And now I can’t stop noticing how fake everyone suddenly feels.

The weirdest part is they don’t even know I’m not financially dependent on my parents at all. I pay my own rent, bought my own car, and my parents are the type who’d rather die than hand me money for no reason.

But now every compliment from her family feels gross because I keep wondering if they would even respect me if my last name and background were different.

I brought it up to my girlfriend and she got defensive immediately. She said I’m “overthinking it” and that maybe they just needed time to warm up to me.

Maybe she’s right.

But it honestly feels like they went from seeing me as some random guy to seeing me as a good investment.

So my brother leaves the house every weekday with his backpack, comes home talking about professors, assignments, annoying group projects, the whole thing.

Today my mom got a letter in the mail saying he was academically withdrawn back in January.

I checked with my dad and apparently the tuition money they gave him for this semester is basically gone too. He’s been using it for random stuff while acting like everything was normal.

What messes with me most is how committed he was to the lie. Last night he spent an hour complaining about a fake exam he never even took.

I honestly don’t even know what the next step is. Confront him? Tell my parents everything? Try to understand why he hid it this long? I feel angry but also weirdly worried.

What would you do in this situation?