Vent: pressure of my own creation
When I work, I assume the posture of an individual navigating an unfamiliar and impossibly complicated ice-covered highway interchange in a Toyota Camry with smooth, 20-year-old tires and shoddy brakes, surrounded by tractor trailers loaded (presumably) with highly volatile explosives. Like shallow breaths and shoulders practically up to my ears. Probably as tense as a rubber band wrapped around a bowling ball.
A lot of the pressure seems to be internal. No one is yelling at me when I mess up, and I haven’t made mistakes that have been seriously costly or even abnormal for my level. And it’s like this whether work is slow or busy or in-between. I’ve been practicing for a few years and this has been a consistent issue, and I know it makes me worse in terms of efficiency and work product. It dulls a lot of my qualities that would otherwise make me a good lawyer or coworker. I’m so angry at myself.
Idk why I’m posting, just wanted to express this frustration. But if you think a similar syndrome is going around your office, some things that could be helpful in my experience, and which can be either one-on-one or as a group:
* telling funny stories about your mistakes that once seemed huge,
* talking about lawyers you’ve met throughout your career who you respect or admire (regular people, not a Supreme Court justice),
* asking your colleague(s) to take a walk with you on a warm day to pick up takeout, or
* discussing/spitballing issues you’ve been dealing with in one of your matters just for the benefit of discussion.
I don’t offer these suggestions to diminish the importance of material support or therapeutic intervention if you’re in a position to offer that; just thinking about small things that most of us could do for a colleague pretty easily.
That’s the end of my vent. Anyway, are there any lawyers you’ve met throughout your career who you respect or admire (regular people, not a Supreme Court justice)?