We are kind a group of 5. What I mean by this is that 4 of us are really close and our one friend Michelle (fake name) isn‘t as close with us. It sometimes feels a bit like Michelle is only friends with us because there is nobody better around and as if she’s just wants to create the image of having a fun friend group regardless of with whom it is. But she’s a kind and nice person to be around 90% of the time.
Last year we went on a trip with our group of 5 and a few other people. This trip was pretty rough to be honest. Michelle always wanted us to do what she wanted when she wanted it. She would get really passive aggressive and annoyed if we opposed her wishes. She also didn’t really have the same idea of a what a fun time travelling is as the rest of us. In general this trip kind of showed a negative side of here and we noticed some issues (eg. how it has to be like she wants almost always) that we didn’t before. This also lead to there being a period of time where the 5 of us didn’t really get along.
Now the 4 of us have booked a holiday in Bali together. Because this is a expensive trip for all of us and we had to safe money for a while to finance it, we decided to not invite Michelle. It would have been really sad if the trip would have again been dictated by her. We are also going to be pretty budget friendly which is not her thing at all. We had mentioned to her at some point that we want to make a trip together, which upset her because she wasn’t invited, but I don’t think she realises that we are actually going on a trip or that it’s a BIG trip.
We haven’t told her yet. We are in a situation where it would be much better if we don’t tell her why we didn’t invite her, as she would not react well at all to it. How can we let her know that we are going on this trip without hurting her? Does this make us assholes?
ps. she has other friends, which like her a lot and we aren’t her number one choice. We have previously also suggested going on a small trip with her which hasn’t happened yet, because most of us have a hectic time at our jobs at the moment.