20M full time work 20F uni
Hi, how can I stop being so obsessive/ co dependent and controlling lol
I don’t know why, But I have made my girlfriend my whole whole life. If we don’t text I bug out, id we do text I get so happy. Before we’d text a lot, especially when she was in first year, but now she’s made new friends in her city, and made a proper life for herself which im proud of but she has less time for me now but it bugs me out so muchhhhhhhhhhhhh I obsess so much, in what she’s doing who she’s with I’ll stalk her location constantly see when she’s active I get so annoyed when she’s active but doesn’t message me or lmk she’s gone out. It’s bad I don’t even know why first thing I do if I wake up randomly is check her location or something like that it’s like it makes me feel a bitttt better but it’s some horrible cycle I take part in.
She said in her first year uni I limited her loads and hindered so much of her progress which is right lol because I would be onto her a lot, tell her don’t go there don’t go here don’t speak to x or y. And I realize now that was very very very bad behaviour of me, but I didn’t do it all intentionally or in a rude manner I done it more from a protective view but looking back it was all very controlling.
She’s said herself that she hates this about and it’s something I want to work on - she says im her best friend and should be pushing her to be better not hinder her progress in life.
What can I do to stop all these obsessive tendencies and find peace in my own life. In my spare time I go gym but it’s not enough to keep me occupied.
I also think because of my behaviour it’s gona lead to the end of us at this rate