Honk Twice for Help.
My husband and I watch an embarrassing number of terrible '80s horror movies. We were in the middle of one when I got up for... honestly, I don't remember. Probably a glass of water. Maybe to pet a cat. Around here those are the two most likely reasons I'd leave the couch.
I went by the front window. No idea why now, maybe Amazon? (I just can't quit them. I'm trying. This was also like three years ago.) Let's imagine I was getting up to pet my cat, just because.
There was a ferry going the wrong way.
Now, I realize that sounds banal. Logistically, since it's a mode of transportation, you expect a certain amount of back and forth. Ferries can obviously go whichever direction they want. But I live on a hill overlooking Puget Sound, and after years of looking out this window I've gotten used to the rhythm of the traffic. I can see downtown Seattle, the Bremerton ferry, the Bainbridge ferry, and the Southworth route. Day after day, the ferries follow the same patterns. They go to Seattle, they come back.
Instead of heading toward Seattle like my li'l brain expected, it was cutting straight across the Sound, perpendicular to the shore. On top of that, it gave some little blasts on their horn.
My husband and I pulled up MarineTraffic, which is one of my favorite apps- one I use far more often than any reasonable person probably should. If you've ever looked out at Puget Sound and wondered, "What ship is that?" it'll usually tell you. Ferries, tugboats, cargo ships, Navy vessels... if it's out there, chances are you can identify it. It's a whole thing at our house. He won't download it himself, though. If he's home by himself he'll send me pictures of a boat and have me look it up. We're a little codependant over here too. If it wasn't funny, I'd probably make him download the damn thing.
Nothing too weird was actually happening, as it turned out! Washington State Ferries was repositioning a boat to another route. Southworth was stealing a boat from Bremerton. The horn wasn't announcing some mysterious ferry emergency. It was warning a few kayakers who had wandered a little too close.
That's how I (really we, but the SO isn't writing this) ended up learning that ferry horns aren't random. They're actually a language. You want me to explain it? You know I would really like to!
Ok!
-One short blast means, "I'm altering course to starboard," or turning right.
-Two short blasts mean, "I'm altering course to port," or turning left.
-Three short blasts mean the vessel is "operating astern propulsion", or backing up. No, I'm not going to tell you that I knew those words before I spent some time Googling. I can't know everything, I'm using source material here.
-Five or more short blasts are the one you've probably heard if somebody is making a really dumb decision. That's the danger signal. It basically means, "I don't understand what you're doing, and we're about to have a problem." It's actually pretty easy to underestimate a ferry if you're out on the water yourself. They don't throw a ton of wake really, and I've kind of disregarded them myself while I'm kayaking. They're FAST though.
-Long blasts are a little different. A prolonged blast is used in several situations, but around Puget Sound you're most likely to hear it when visibility is poor. In fog, vessels sound a prolonged blast at regular intervals so other boats know they're there, even if they can't be seen.
-If you hear "shave and a haircut, two bits..." ...well, I don't actually know what that means. My thought is the ferry captain is drunk, but the Coast Guard may have a different interpretation. (There's a long history of sodden ferry captains, but that's for a different day.)