u/KittyLovesNoodleSoup

Hi everyone,

I’ve been lurking here for a while, but today is the first time I’ve actually found the courage to post. I guess I’m looking for people who might relate to my situation, because right now, I feel like I’m stuck between worlds.

To give you some context: I’m an adult, I have a real-life child, and I would describe myself as bisexual. But that’s only half the story. My entire life, ever since I was a kid I was " playing " With my fictional crushes. My heart has primarily belonged to fictional characters. Anime men and women just have a very special place in my heart. I’ve celebrated anniversaries, and in my heart, I’ve even married a fictional character. This is something I would never tell anyone in my real life, and to be honest, I still carry a lot of shame about it.

However, I notice that I differ from many posts here in two major ways:

The Aro/Ace Spectrum: I often see fictosexuality defined as being under the aro/ace umbrella. I don't see myself there at all. I’ve had real partners, I have a child, and I feel real bisexual attraction—my fictional love simply exists parallel to that.

The Boundary of Reality: I have an extremely vivid imagination (sometimes I can almost see or feel the characters), but I am always 100% aware of what is fiction and what is reality. I don’t lose myself to the point of neglecting my real life. I celebrate these anniversaries privately, in silence, as my own personal safe haven.

Sometimes I feel a bit too "crazy" for the regular world out there, but not "crazy enough" for some corners of the internet where the lines of reality completely blur. Are there any like-minded people here? Older users, maybe with families, who see the boundary crystal clear but still carry this deep, lifelong love for fictional characters in their hearts?

Thanks for reading. It just feels good to finally let this out after all these years.