Need advice F28 and M26
Hi,
To anyone reading my sticky situation I’m about to share on this post. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or if I need a good slap in the face.
I’m 28F engaged to my fiancé 26M this situation involves my best friend of 20 years. She is the same ago as me. 28F
Basically what happened
My best friend asked to come over on a Saturday night due to her family issues. My best friend is more than welcome to stop by to get away for a bit.
My fiancé and his friends were at our house and decided to have a few drinks and some “snow” on the side. If you get what I mean. I wasn’t going to stay home for long since I wanted to do some shopping. My best friend came over and asked if she was comfortable with me hanging out with the guys. I told her she was fine since they have hung out before. No issues right?
Well I come back after 2 hours and the whole household is drunk. I mean, they were pretty fucked up. I started to clean around the house and keep watch on them in case one of them wanted to go home. I don’t allow my friends drive drunk.
My best friend got wasted and very emotional.
I took care of her and my fiancé. I had family come pick up his friends. I ordered food for my best friend to sober up that night. I was thinking to myself “wow, they sure had a lot of fun.” I didn’t really think nothing of it.
Start of week one
Sunday
The next morning my fiancé brings up how upset he was at my best friend for being emotional and she was accusing my fiancé of cheating. We both talked and were unsure where she brought this accusation up. I did let him know that the whole party was drunk and there was a lot of nonsense happening. Fiancé brushed it off and I sent her a message asking if she was okay.
The next couple of days my fiancé brings up that he is upset with my best friend because apparently she went up to one of his buddies and asked if he was having an affair. I did message my best friend about this and she mentioned that night was blurry and only remembered bits and pieces. I did let my fiancé know of this. He didn’t say much.
Now, a few weeks go by and my fiancé brings up that my best friend never apologized for how she acted that night. I told him I would bring this up to her again. We ended up hanging out and I brought it up to her attention. Apparently from what she said that my fiancé was acting “single” with his buddies and what girls they would bang. She said she got defensive and upset that they would do something like that towards me. I didn’t get upset with this since I thought to myself this was dumb and again everyone was intoxicated. I did let her know to pass on an apology. When I came back I didn’t bring up the acting single with my fiancé.
Fast forward, because this is a long one and I’m trying to keep it short.
My fiancé is now extremely upset because it’s been 3 weeks without an apology. I did let him know over and over again I have been bringing this up to her. Last night she came by the house and apologized. Only for him to say he felt disrespected and he will not accept her apology. Now, she’s upset. They have been pin pointing at me and it’s been stressing me out badly. I have been the middle man and now my fiancé of seven years is giving me the ultimatum of choosing him or my best friend of 20 years.
He is claiming that I am a bad partner for not stepping in right away and defending him.
Now, I have until Friday to decide whether if I stay with him or continue my friendship with my best friend. I love them both dearly, and I am very upset with both of them. My fiancé tells me that I need to be an adult and a better partner, Now he’s saying she’s not allowed in our house and that I will not be able to hang out with her anymore.
It’s been a huge mess.
Also, I’m sorry for any grammar mistakes, I’m typing this up so fast before he gets home. I’m at a loss..